Why do women like guys who are good at texting? Or do they care at all?

[Bird Larry]

I don't understand. What's so good about text? I understand good speaking, nice appearance, good photos, good social status, but I never understood good texting. Why? 

If I were anybody, I would take a guy who has good appearance, good speaking, athletic, charismatic, and a good social status above a person whose good at texting. 

I'm not making fun of this here. On the contrary, I've seen men get by just with texting. I've also seen men who are good with texting, but are horrible in real life interactions. I've also seen men who are good in real life, but not so good online. 

I may have to hold myself as the latter, though I don't know if I'm good in real life also. 

Anyway, I want to get better texting. But I still do not understand why women like men who are good at texting. I'd rather take a guy who is good in bed but who never writes to me, than a guy who is bad in bed but who writes nice letters.

 

Edited June 16, 2022 by Bird Larry

[Roy]

Being good at texting isn't that important other than it helps you secure dates.

On the other hand though if you are terrible at texting and really dry/boring than it can hurt your chances, as you won't even got an opportunity for a date in the online dating world.

[puporing]

I used to not care as much, but then it led to lots of problems (like total mismatch, potentially dangerous situations, very narcissistic guys, etc), so I cared about "screening" much more after that. It's not so much that I "like it", texting is not my thing I'd rather not text much, just a basic screening if necessary like meeting someone from an online place.

Edited June 16, 2022 by puporing

[Bird Larry]

@puporing what if it's a man in a cafe who'd asked for your number. Do you still screen him.

Edited June 16, 2022 by Bird Larry

[Preety_India]

I would completely rely on texting. There is something mysterious about texting. It reveals a lot about a person without that person wanting it. 

Texting is the best thing ever even if there is ton of misinterpretation 

 

The misinterpretation also indicates a lot about the psychology of the person.. 

 

[Bird Larry]

@Preety_India

I would be curious to know how a person's life will turn out if he or she relies on text alone to assess his relationship

Edited June 16, 2022 by Bird Larry

[NoSelfSelf]

Because you dont get turned on and off by the womans texting doesnt matter to you girl loves texting and good texts becuase it turns on their emotions thats why they read those romantic books...

[Leo Gura]

They don't care about your texting.

If a girl isn't attracted to you in the real world she will not respond to your clever texts. Text game is mostly BS sold to guys by coaches who want money.

If a girl is attracted to you she will tolerate very shitty text game. You'd have to say something awful to screw it up, like being sexually explicit or creepy.

The rules of good text game are simple:

• Don't be sexually explicit or vulgar
• Don't insult or offend her
• Don't text too much or come off desperate or needy
• Don't be too gamey or try-hard
• Don't be too vague and ambiguous so she cannot misinterpret you

Basically just be normal, chill, light-hearted, clear, and use texts to set up the date. Don't get too clever with it. That cleverness will backfire.

[Proserpina]

I've been in long distance relationships where texting was the primary form in the beginning.  I think it's a great way to see how a guy responds to my more masculine side.  I'm very feminine but my masculine side can scare guys off (the Greek in me). It's good for screening. I was able to find someone really compatible with me through texting.  

[something_else]

In my experience you do actually need to be a good texter for online dating.

I've probably gone on 20 or so dates from online, and in almost every case there was a lot of texting beforehand.

A few times I've taken the advice of just trying to set up a date pretty quick and it never works for me with girls I've met online. Like I can't think of a single time I've gone on a date with a girl where there wasn't at least a few days of fairly frequent texting first.

You gotta remember that for younger girls (the girls in my age range) if you end up dating you're gonna be texting back and forward a fuck ton, if you don't have some chemistry over text that isn't gonna work so well. A girl is also worried about her safety with online dating as well

For situations where you meet a girl out in the real world and she's already had a chance to experience your presence, get attracted to you, feel safe around you etc. I guess it's far less important. But online, all a girl really has to go on is your looks and your texting. If your looks are not 9/10 you gotta at least be fun over text to get anywhere

The above is one of the many reasons I wouldn't recommend online dating, lol.

[puporing]

10 hours ago, Bird Larry said:

@puporing what if it's a man in a cafe who'd asked for your number. Do you still screen him.

In that case it's better to just have a conversation right there to get a sense of someone. Live screening?  

[itsnutsandbolts]

There's nothing especially 'good' about texts. If a girl is attracted to you, she will like the flirty attention both in-person and online.

But girls will shit test you over texts as well, so if you can't handle the banter then don't bother with texts.

[Bird Larry]

@itsnutsandbolts I can handle shit tests in every other way. Especially with guys, when they can't challenge me in person, they challenge not with calls, but with texts, I lose respect for them. Not that I can't banter, but with women doing that it's different because women tend not to confront me in person, in which I understand a little bit, but nonetheless I lose respect. If any of my friends did that, I would immediately block him, deem him stupid. But when every other girl does that... do I tolerate it? I don't know

Believe it or not, I had a few times cut out a few people because of this. 

Edited June 17, 2022 by Bird Larry

[puporing]

@Bird Larry  If it's something really important to you you can just make it super clear upfront too that you prefer less texting.. Maybe it's a good screening tool for you to see if she will be respectful of that or not/be on similar page on that. 

Sometimes a girl wants to text because maybe you're in the early stage and there's that desire to bond so to speak (and maybe she's really into you!). I guess it can come off as being unavailable without meaning to.

So sometimes just going with the flow works good (if it's mutual I guess).

Edited June 17, 2022 by puporing

[Rainy Sparkle]

I want to stay in contact between meetings. If I'm interested in you, I want to spend as much time as possible interacting with you. I want to have a mutual life with my partner, not just two separate lives side by side. The texting can be overlooked in relationship, if the intensity needs are otherwise met.

But if I'm just getting to know someone (especially online), trying to convince me into meeting without zero interest in texting me first can look like a trap to me. First of all, you don't seem to be interested in as intense relationship as I am because you just want to set a date instead of actually starting to getting to know me meanwhile we're setting a date and waiting that to happen. Or then it can look like you're only after sex, because there's such a rush to just see live AND there's no interest in texting. But it's also a way to try to stay safe. Bad experiences. It's not failproof method though.

I can't talk for other girls, but this is how I see it. 

[itsnutsandbolts]

8 hours ago, Bird Larry said:

But when every other girl does that... do I tolerate it? I don't know

Sometimes girls just want attention and interaction in between dates and texting is an easy way to do that.

But if you don't want to tolerate it then @puporing's suggestion is great. Screen for girls who prefer IRL over text. 

Or give them a phone call lol. Shocking, I know. Absolutely unheard of. 

[Bird Larry]

@itsnutsandbolts that's what I did usually. There's nothing better about texts more than phone calls or real life interactions, nor are phone calls or real life interactions better than texts. Maybe women or people think that way somehow. Or maybe that's how I've thought of it until now. What @Rainy Sparkle said made me think differently 

Edited June 19, 2022 by Bird Larry

[petar8p]

On 6/16/2022 at 4:24 AM, Bird Larry said:

I don't understand. What's so good about text? I understand good speaking, nice appearance, good photos, good social status, but I never understood good texting. Why? 

If I were anybody, I would take a guy who has good appearance, good speaking, athletic, charismatic, and a good social status above a person whose good at texting. 

I'm not making fun of this here. On the contrary, I've seen men get by just with texting. I've also seen men who are good with texting, but are horrible in real life interactions. I've also seen men who are good in real life, but not so good online. 

I may have to hold myself as the latter, though I don't know if I'm good in real life also. 

Anyway, I want to get better texting. But I still do not understand why women like men who are good at texting. I'd rather take a guy who is good in bed but who never writes to me, than a guy who is bad in bed but who writes nice letters.

Cuz it's the only thing she gets to experience you except your profile. They probably don't get away with just texting, if the profile is bad chicks rarely mind responding to the first message.

[Bird Larry]

What you said about texts is interesting @Preety_India. Maybe you could elaborate. What about body language. How does a text reveal about a person more so than maybe a body language    ..

Edited June 28, 2022 by Bird Larry

[Bird Larry]

On 6/17/2022 at 1:46 PM, puporing said:

Sometimes a girl wants to text because maybe you're in the early stage and there's that desire to bond so to speak (and maybe she's really into you!). I guess it can come off as being unavailable without meaning to.

Really. People think this like this .. 

I always thought having them call me instead rather than text comes off available .. emotions are hard to decipher

Edited June 28, 2022 by Bird Larry