Importance of loosing virginity?

[Spiral Wizard]

After years of trying really hard to loose my virginity I recently got the chance to finally do so but I didn‘t end up doing it because even though that girl was an 8/10 physically I didn’t vibe with her at all. So for me the character was a 5/10, if that. 

I also noticed how my sexual desire / horniness decreased significantly since my last meditation retreat.  

It’s so strange that I’ve been horny for years and now that I get the chance I suddenly don’t mind anymore. 

1. Question: Should I just ignore that and fuck even if I don’t feel like it?

There’s another girl that is really into me. We vibe a little bit more but overall it might be a 7/10.  

2. Question: Should I just get over with it and loose my virginity because it will subconsciously help me get the girls I’m really attracted to or would you say that it’s worth waiting/working for that 8+/10? 
 

PS.: I don’t intent to be judgmental with that rating system. It’s just an easy way to communicate. 

[Yarco]

If you're going to obsess about it for months or years, I'd just get it out of the way to free up the mental bandwidth.

I can tell you that it's overrated but until you experience it for yourself you probably won't believe me.

[Spiral Wizard]

8 minutes ago, Yarco said:

If you're going to obsess about it for months or years, I'd just get it out of the way to free up the mental bandwidth.

I can tell you that it's overrated but until you experience it for yourself you probably won't believe me.

Well now I don’t obsess over it anymore and I can understand why it’s overrated. 

I believe it’s much better when you actually love the other person. 

I guess that’s an argument to be made that you want to be prepared/experienced when you finally do hook up with someone you love. 

Edited June 15, 2022 by Spiral Wizard

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, Spiral Wizard said:

1. Question: Should I just ignore that and fuck even if I don’t feel like it?

If you don't feel like it, why would you torture yourself doing soemthing you won't enjoy?

BUT.

If you think it will help your self-esteem in the long term and stop you from obsessing over sex, then I would do it. Just to get it over with.

1 hour ago, Spiral Wizard said:

. Question: Should I just get over with it and loose my virginity because it will subconsciously help me get the girls I’m really attracted to or would you say that it’s worth waiting/working for that 8+/10? 

As I said, if you honestly think you will feel better about your decision after the fact and will help you feel happy in your own body, then I would do it.

Waiting for the perfect chance is wasting time. It doesn't exist. It won't happen and you will wait a long time. 

[Razard86]

20 minutes ago, Yarco said:

If you're going to obsess about it for months or years, I'd just get it out of the way to free up the mental bandwidth.

I can tell you that it's overrated but until you experience it for yourself you probably won't believe me.

THIS THIS AND SO THIS!!! I was so mad when I found this out!! I was like...it just like scratching an itch!!! But I did find out that spiritual sex is worth it though. So yeah regular physical sex is nothing special, you can probably get better pleasure from masturbation. But spiritual sex? That is something totally different.

[SgtPepper]

It really depends on who you ask.

I don't think its important and I think sex is best saved for someone you actually like and enjoy.

[something_else]

9 hours ago, Spiral Wizard said:

After years of trying really hard to loose my virginity I recently got the chance to finally do so but I didn‘t end up doing it because even though that girl was an 8/10 physically I didn’t vibe with her at all. So for me the character was a 5/10, if that. 

Out of curiosity, what’s the story here?

[Leo Gura]

Mostly just get it over with so you aren't hung up on it. Nothing starts with perfection. Your first girl is not likely to be your ideal girl.

Also be ware of self-sabotage. When you have a chance to close the deal, close the deal rather than getting all in your head about it. Don't think too far ahead in such matters.

[integral]

The experience of having sex, romance and relationships will drastically boost your ability to get and keep the girls you actually want.

Edited June 15, 2022 by integral

[Roy]

1. Don't have sex with anybody you don't want to.

2. Don't overanalyze about things having to be perfect, whether it's an experience or the girl you're with.

[spiritual memes]

@Spiral Wizard Lol i had the exact same problem but in reverse a few weeks ago xD. Girl had a personality that i vibed with but wasn't attracted to her physically. what a weird coincidence...

[bejapuskas]

I see what Leo is saying about being hung up on it and aiming to get over with it. But I thought about this and maybe it is the thing with not focusing on what you like and as a result having your first sexual experience to be mediocre that then builds this image in your head that sex kinda sucks. Dont do people you dont really really like. They dont have to fit the societal norms, but dont settle for a worse partner, just because somebody tells you its important. Its a kind of a self-rape if you ask me. Not being hung up on it can be good, but this kind of path can be dangerous if you know what I mean. You may end up forcing yourself and regretting it or feeling super weird.

[Preety_India]

Nothing is ever perfect. Your first relationship is never going to be the most perfect or ideal anyway. In relationships it's like the phrase "failures are the stepping stones to success." 

For most people, at 90% people, their first relationships are just plain boring or rough or toxic and Usually teach them important lessons. You could even have wonderful first time relationships but even there are going to be unexpected jolts. Relationships are like a learning curve. More is less. The more you learn, the more you suffer, the faster you learn, the better it gets. But you shouldn't be wasting your time either with people who aren't meaningful to you or waste time waiting for the perfect one. 

If you are looking for a monogamous stage blue relationship that leads to a stable marriage that's quite hard these days. You rarely bump into someone with the same ideals. Most people don't even want marriage. 

If you just want a long term relationship, then choose wisely and keep hunting. It's not about losing virginity or finding the perfect one. 

It's more like an elimination process. You need to be quick at eliminating people who don't get along with you or don't fit your criteria. So as soon as you see the girl playing mind games with you, no matter how attractive she is, just drop her immediately. Find the next one who really wants to belong. 

Don't remain stuck with people who argue too much, create mayhem, don't really care about you, play mind games, cheat on you, treat you bad, constantly fight, use you for something, aren't sexually desirable..... Delete such people and move on to those who give you a healthy experience. 

Even if you find the perfect perfect relationship, it's not gonna last. Don't expect so much. It doesn't work like the movies. There may or may not be a happily ever after. 

Be content with what you get as long as it's healthy and keeps you happy instead of constantly being "I can do better than this." 

Have a mentality that relationships are worth having as long as they don't interfere with your main goals and be ready to experience a few to get over all your hangups.