Hate me please(Uninhibited)

[Preety_India]

My eyes filled with tears of blood. 

My eyes filled with tears of joy

My eyes filled with tears of love 

 

 

Keeps waiting for you, for your love to return.. 

For your forgiveness. 

Forgive me. I love you still and I will love you forever. 

 

[Preety_India]

V doesn't understand my emotions. I have deep emotions and feelings for him.

V, I know that you have a lot of animosity against me. But I love you. 

Despite all the hurt and pain, I love you 

You don't give me a safe space where I can express my love for you 

All that you give me is rotten spaces to comply with. 

 

 

Edited June 13, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

My eyes filled with tears of blood. 

I cry for those I cannot be with. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm glad I found these three. 

They are better than the ones before. 

I feel connected. 

 

[Preety_India]

I visit S every night. I trust him to not exploit me.. 

He treats me gently. 

He understands my pain and doesn't judge me. 

I think some of us take to the darker alleys of life out of deep shame and repression. 

We turn to corners where we won't be judged the same way we are in society. 

S himself is devoted to bad activity. So how can he judge me? 

 

[Preety_India]

Maybe I should prefer being hated to being loved 

Because when you're being admired and loved, you have to constantly stand up to some expectations that are unknowingly inadvertently placed on you by those who love you/admire you. 

When you are hated, there is always a point where you could be hated no more. And what does hate even mean? Just the opposite of love? Don't we sometimes hate those who we secretly love the most? 

Yea hate is a strong emotion, stronger than love. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Rape me. Murder me. Torture me. Please. 

Until it satisfies the darkest corners of your bloody soul. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I know that people who hate me just wanna punch into me. They want to see me bleeding, dying. 

Maybe they want to practice necrophilia with my corpse.. 

They want my parts spilled out. 

They want to see the terror and Vulnerability in my eyes to their heart's content.. 

They want to get sadistic with me. 

Maybe somewhere in all those desires, they wish to preserve me still? Maybe they want to see me again? Maybe they miss me? Maybe there's a soft spot where they secretly do not want me gone and withered? Maybe in that spot they wish to understand me and not see me hurt? 

Who knows.... Not that I really care. Anymore.. 

Hate me some more. Throw stones at me. 

Shame me. 

I feel hurt by fake love. At least hate is genuine. 

There is no love lost in between... 

I have been treated miserably for years. No longer must I take it. 

Beaten, abused, gaslighted, bullied and then owned. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

V tells me interesting things. 

He tells me that he is my husband. 

And so... I should respect his command. His love is not to be taken for granted. 

Then he proceeds to tell me that he has multiple extra marital adventures, just one night stands with other women. 

And he tells me that I shouldn't need to worry about that. Because those are not important to him. To him, I'm his number one. His wife and his ultimate woman that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. 

Not sure what to make of his words. He loves me but at the same time sees others on nights. But then how does he love me? 

He says this is how its meant to be. 

That I can run around with as many guys as I please. But in the end I will run back to him no matter what. That this is how a husband wife relationship is defined. This is how its gotta be. 

That he doesn't give a fuck if I slept with other men. Since I belong to him. 

He knows whatever happens, I'm back with him. 

 

[Preety_India]

V does give me intimacy in between intervals. Like he would touch me, kiss me and grab me whenever I'm around in the kitchen. He gives me abundant amounts of attention. 

He does follow me around. 

He tells me that my pussy belongs only to him and nobody else. 

That he would kill if anyone tried to harm me. 

He cares about my basic stuff in a way no one would. 

Wakes me up in the morning. 

Does my laundry sometimes. 

Cooks dinner on days when I'm feeling ill. 

Rubs my back. Runs errands.

 

Does call me at least once in a while to check on me. 

 

Hmm. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Well V.............. 

As long as you love me........... 

 

[Preety_India]

On 6/12/2022 at 1:54 AM, Preety_India said:

Okay I have been having these synchronicities where I feel P is my husband. 

Hmm. 

 

 

[Michael Jackson]

What da fuck that title??

[petar8p]

You sound like a genius

[Michael Jackson]

2 hours ago, petar8p said:

You sound like a genius

@petar8p Thanks for the appreciation

[Preety_India]

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Well V.............. 

As long as you love me........... 

 

As long as you hate me. 

 

[petar8p]

11 hours ago, Preety_India said:

My snapchat is buttercup_cup1 

I need an IG

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, petar8p said:

I need an IG

Nope. 

 

[petar8p]

You're an MVP.

My compliments never work

 

13 hours ago, Preety_India said:

mobile version problem

Edited June 14, 2022 by petar8p

[Preety_India]

@petar8p maybe it's time for you to get lost from my journal. I am not a slave to your compliments. 

Too many men compliment me everyday. Fakers. Too many men have messed with my heart and my head. The only thing I didn't allow a man to mess with is my pussy and I'm still a virgin and I'm very glad that I'm a virgin. 

Now how about if you please fuck off 

I'm tired of men trying to seduce me into something that they cannot be bothered to abide by. 

I'm a free bird.

The only man who can have me is the man who wifes me. 

Others can get lost 

 

I don't need your cheap deals. I  am not your whore

 

Find a tree to fuck. Go. 

I am not hungry for your compliments or anything else for that matter. 

Go.