How to integrate radical realizations?

[Loving Radiance]

This question is to those who have integrated these radical realizations. How did you integrate moments of direct consciousness of "identity and reality are constructed" and "Existence/Truth/Infinity"? How did your process look like?

My mind seems to have gone into avoiding that which I got conscious of one year ago. Currently, I can easily dissociate (=distance myself) from me and the world (Depersonalization & Derealization), and I recognize that it's a coping mechanism by the mind. When I attempt to integrate these insights, it is too radical and threatening to incorporate into my map of reality. Is it an error to try to integrate it on a personal level? (kinda like assuming the "the map doesn't exist" fits on a map)

Much love.

Edited June 10, 2022 by Loving Radiance

[TheOneReborn]

Remember the feeling of the Truth you experienced. Don't try to capture intellectualize it. Just try to recall the feeling. That's what I do. My conciousness has skyrocketed ever since I stopped trying to "understand" or model my insights. 

[Oeaohoo]

I have found that to a certain extent this just happens naturally. Once something transcendent has awakened within you, it has a way of burning through (or, you could say, forcing you to burn through) the remaining threads and shreds of your limited identity. Like Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita:

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The Supreme Lord said: I am mighty Time, the source of destruction that comes forth to annihilate the worlds. Even without your participation, the warriors arrayed in the opposing army shall cease to exist.

[Loving Radiance]

@TheOneReborn @Oeaohoo Thank you!

[Loving Radiance]

I struggled a lot with making sense of my last 2 trips. And so it happened that I watched a conversation between Bruce Lyon and Jon Eden Khan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88vRm7E7eH8&t=813s) and they touched upon something which made it clearer:

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'Well how do I integrate this into my personal world?' But what they're really saying is 'How do I make sense of the universal with my personal as the dominant center?'. And basically the answer is 'You can't!' You're never going to integrate this into your personal because it's the personal that has to be integrated into the universal. That is like the hanged man: it turns the whole world upside down. [...] people are going to have to confront 'Who am I?' not just 'Who are you and what do you stand for?' but 'Who am I?'' It's such a relief when you do claim that who you are is part of the universal because it links you back to the source of true power.

[SeaMonster]

It's not an intellectual process.  It doesn't matter if you intellectually get that identity is constructed, you have to drop identification so that the subject-object duality (the belief that there is a "real" as opposed to "virtual" split between "you" and "the world") permanently disappears.  This is why seekers use techniques such as self-inquiry, meditation, etc. 

In other words, the only utility of "realizations" is that it becomes easier to change habits which are by their nature reflective of this limiting self-identity mindset.

 

[inFlow]

On 6/10/2022 at 2:14 PM, Loving Radiance said:

When I attempt to integrate these insights, it is too radical and threatening to incorporate into my map of reality.

It's because it doesn't serve survival. And your mind is smart enough to not take in these kinds of insights and make it a reality. You don't want these insights to be on all of the time. In my opinion the main goal is to learn to turn it on and off on command.

[Davino]

Don't remember, relive them in this moment, infuse them with life as you rekindle a fire.

Love is many times the key to integrate Truth. Love it to death, love it so much it dissolves your inner blockages that stop the realization to consume your whole being. Lock it up as your baseline consciousness, literally drill it into your consciousness by alertness and love. You must be ferocious, your whole being should shake, all your incompletions, self doubts, everything... should shake by your firm will persistance to live from the truth you have realized and become directly concious about. 

That's what worked for me. Pure raw power and surrendering love.

[Breakingthewall]

On 10/6/2022 at 1:14 PM, Loving Radiance said:

This question is to those who have integrated these radical realizations. How did you integrate moments of direct consciousness of "identity and reality are constructed" and "Existence/Truth/Infinity"? How did your process look like?

I choose to forget them completely. the only use they have is that they are steps towards a greater opening, but the only real opening is what it is now.

thinking "i am god" because two weeks ago i realized that on an lsd trip is completely stupid imo. only the now  exists, any memory is ego, it does not count, it is not real. No concept or idea counts, not even from a mystical experience from 2 hours ago, only the opening that is happening now. For example, yesterday I vaped 20 mg of 5 meo, I don't remember any realization, I try to don't have realizations, just to open myself completely, to be a infinite hole without any content. The goal is let go everything, to be now. It's an exercise, not a search of realizations. Realizations are relative, only now is absolute.

anyway, what is the use of knowing things? It is now when I exist, what I am looking for is to get out of the conceptual bubble and remember a mystical experience is conceptual bubble, so an obstacle.

Edited August 28, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Loving Radiance]

@SeaMonster Thank you

 

8 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

the only use they have is that they are steps towards a greater opening, but the only real opening is what it is now.

Much thanks

[Davino]

19 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

No concept or idea counts, not even from a mystical experience from 2 hours ago, only the opening that is happening now.

I'm in the exact same phase now. However, the possibility of locking peak states into your base line consciousness is a very real possibility I have experienced.

So you can do both without any contradiction. A higher synthesis.