Having self worth but still following life purpose?

[Mikey]

I have an issue. I realize there are many things I could do to reach my true potential. I want to do them all, or even just one of them, but I have a lot of resistance. I think this comes from a lack of self worth? I'm thinking it's because of my perfectionist mindset, but at the same time, I know if I were to do these things to better myself I would be happy (exercise, read, etc) anyway, I would like to know more about this. Because I have addictive behavior, I usually don't like to do things that don't give rewards(dopamine) in a timely manner. So I would like to know, how to unlock my true potential. How to change my habits, without compromising my self worth every time. And before you say just do it, like Shia LeBeouf would say, I have tried "just doing it" and it never works. I guess I just don't have support? Idk. Whenever I try to accomplish my goals I seem to just like, lose interest fast. But then a few days later it comes back but I remember the trauma it gave me, and then I focus on that feeling too hard and give up until the feeling comes back stronger and then try to do it again. Thanks.

[Rob06]

There's quite a lot to unpack in what you say. Resistance is normal, and it could come from low self worth and/or perfectionism. What helped me with low self-esteem was a combination of many things, from reading and applying personal development material (Nathanial Brandon's work on self-esteem), to meditation, and most powerfully, doing a couple of personal development programs. 

Practising self-love, self compassion also might be a good idea. Don't beat your self up for slipping back sometimes, it happens. Small incremental changes can come a long way over years!

What do you mean by "How to change my habits, without compromising my self worth every time."?

[Mikey]

@Rob06 I think deep down I just am not feeling a deep connection to whatever it is I want to do. I have this vision of being someone who's great and changes the world, but it seems to me that changing my daily routine will just make me miserable. I like freedom, I like being spontaneous. I don't like things defining who I am, like labels. I have this all or nothing mindset, like in order to be successful I must be miserable. And it's not like I'm hanging out with friends all day everyday. Only like once a week. But I'm really struggling to just bite the bullet. Do something for my life purpose everyday. I do think about it everyday though, if that helps. Idk maybe I need a therapist. But the last time I had one we ran out of things to talk about, sat in silence for about 3 minutes and I said I guess I'm done. LOL

[gettoefl]