Dealing with the 'backwards law'

[spiritual memes]

I've recently come across the backwards law aka the 'law of reversed effort' which really resonated with me. Here are a few relavant quotes:

“The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed.

“Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent unknown quantity may take hold.”

'The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there.'

A big problem I've had with Leo's videos is that he always encourages self improvement with maximal effort. Like I need to spend every waking second developing myself and working on my goals. However I find that the more I try, the more my goals tend to evade me. In particular, the more i try to become confident, disciplined and conscious, the more socially awkward, lazy and ego driven I become. With pickup, the more I try to approach women in a confident manner, the more I tend to be overwhelmed with anxiety and pussy out. Consequently, my most bold and successful approaches were when I completely gave up on the idea of approaching women. The most confident I've ever been was when I stopped giving a shit about working on my confidence and my deepest states of consciousness (excluding psychedelics) were when I stopped giving a shit about increasing my consciousness and just meditated for fun. I'm also the most productive when im not trying to be, and procrastinate the most when I try and force myself to be productive.

Leo's videos and other similar self help content tend to make this problem worse. Whenever I watch them I get the feeling that I'm not being productive enough about my goals, and that i should be doing more. Of course this makes me waste energy and prevents my from actually achieving my goals. It also makes life so much less enjoyable because i'm trying so hard instead of enjoying my life.

However I also see the importance of discipline and action towards goals so I want to know: How can I do self development, pickup and spirituality with the backwards law taken into account?

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, spiritual memes said:

I've recently come across the backwards law aka the 'law of reversed effort' which really resonated with me. Here are a few relavant quotes:

“The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed.

“Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent unknown quantity may take hold.”

'The more you desperately want to be rich, the more poor and unworthy you feel, regardless of how much money you actually make. The more you desperately want to be sexy and desired, the uglier you come to see yourself, regardless of your actual physical appearance. The more you desperately want to be happy and loved, the lonelier and more afraid you become, regardless of those who surround you. The more you want to be spiritually enlightened, the more self-centered and shallow you become in trying to get there.'

A big problem I've had with Leo's videos is that he always encourages self improvement with maximal effort. Like I need to spend every waking second developing myself and working on my goals. However I find that the more I try, the more my goals tend to evade me. In particular, the more i try to become confident, disciplined and conscious, the more socially awkward, lazy and ego driven I become. With pickup, the more I try to approach women in a confident manner, the more I tend to be overwhelmed with anxiety and pussy out. Consequently, my most bold and successful approaches were when I completely gave up on the idea of approaching women. The most confident I've ever been was when I stopped giving a shit about working on my confidence and my deepest states of consciousness (excluding psychedelics) were when I stopped giving a shit about increasing my consciousness and just meditated for fun. I'm also the most productive when im not trying to be, and procrastinate the most when I try and force myself to be productive.

Leo's videos and other similar self help content tend to make this problem worse. Whenever I watch them I get the feeling that I'm not being productive enough about my goals, and that i should be doing more. Of course this makes me waste energy and prevents my from actually achieving my goals. It also makes life so much less enjoyable because i'm trying so hard instead of enjoying my life.

However I also see the importance of discipline and action towards goals so I want to know: How can I do self development, pickup and spirituality with the backwards law taken into account?

I'm glad you are noticing. Yes reality is a paradox....you just discovered one of them. The key to life is balance....if you go too far in any direction....it becomes the opposite. This is because all opposites meet. Love and hate meet, unorganized and disorganized meet, light and shadow meet, tall and short meet, and the list goes on. This is the secret of how everything is one because they are just opposites of the same thing .....that always meet.