I'm gone but I'm still a ghost.

[Striving for more]

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Edited June 8, 2022 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

I'm officially not an incel for 6/10's anymore. 

6/10's are pretty easy for me, even 6.5's bit more work but can be easy. 

I don't really want them unless I drink. It ends up not feeling worth it anyway. 

I want more 7 + in my life. 

Edited June 8, 2022 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

Look I just wasted 20 minutes of my life. 

I'm going to delete this thread soon as a punsihment. 

No more forum time even like this, enough is enough.

I'm going a bit crazy atm, I'm gonna chill out maybe I should drink 1 beer. 

I have both the capacity to be sweet and merciless. 

I'm not a psychopath, I feel empathy and capable of romance and deep love for animals and beings. 

When it comes to revenge though, I am sometimes merciless. I just don't let it go. 

Turn the other cheek was never for me. 

Edited June 8, 2022 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

2 minutes & I'm gone no time to waste. 

I'm multiple myers briggs types simultaneously. 

I used to struggle with insecurity, then I got married with narcissim.

I'm in love with narcissim. Id kill myself without it. It suits me, it aint for everyone. 

At night my myers briggs changes, my T becomes F, My S becomes N. 

At night I change colours, at night Im black purple & occasionally a little red. 

My life was always binary, it's always all or nothing. 
I can't do normal, I can't do in the middle, I can't be like everyone else, it wasn't for my temperament. 

I differ greatly in personality & values to Leo, but I resonate in how he is so different. I'm so different to him, yet we are both so different to the average. 

His unusual thoughts towards englightment & god (doesn't interest me) I have the same unorthodox wiring to lifestyle, society, social norms, How I treat life, How I see patterns. 

I'm not better than anyone, I'm deeply flawed, deeply flawed. 

But I'm so fucking powerful at the same time. 

It's ashame I fapped today. It's a real shame, I need maximum power & force. 

I've got backlash mechanisms coming in, I've got overthinking & I'm getting lost in my mind. 

I didn't fap like 7 or 10 days but fapped today. 

Main thing Is I sleep ok. 

I might delete this journal. 

I'm all about value not just being a talking head. 

I'm writing based off emotions at the moment. 

Fuck society, I'm gonna win. 

I ate macdonalds today, like a little fucking bitch. 

I ate 2 ice creams & binged some mainstream normie youtube for an hour or 2, like a little fucking bitch. 

Tomorrow I'm going back to the gym and I'm gonna plan my day & I'm gonna visualize & dream. 

And I'm gonna do 10 - 14 hours of execution. There's no time for ballance right now, I need brute force. 

 

Edited June 12, 2022 by Striving for more