Question to people suffering bipolar...

[Preety_India]

I'm collecting some data on bipolar disorder to understand it better. This is just a survey question to people who have bipolar to list what kind of symptoms they experience both during an episode as well as regularly. 

Since mental illness is a hard topic to discuss in public, I appreciate your participation and it's your choice to participate or not. Thanks. 

 

[itsnutsandbolts]

It's been well researched, there are loads of papers you can look up on google scholar.

This paper looks at qualitative data on the impact of bipolar disorder https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1365-2850.2011.01786.x

CROWE et al. (2012).pdf

It references impact of symptoms more than the actual symptoms themselves but gives you a pretty good idea of what the lived experience is like.

Or if you're purely after symptoms, look up the DSM-V.

Edited June 3, 2022 by itsnutsandbolts

[Preety_India]

@itsnutsandbolts thank you.

[Proserpina]

The bipolar aspect of my schizoaffective

Highs: full of energy,  insanely high sex drive, flirting with everyone, euphoria, spiritual experiences, heavenly experiences, not eating, walking for hours,  very social,  feel significant and worthy, writing incessantly; full of wacky ideas, hyper sexual

Lows: anxiety, scared of everyone and everything, irrational feelings of worthlessness and guilt, hellish experiences

Regular: just normal. Which is 99% of the time on meds

Edited June 4, 2022 by Proserpina

[Preety_India]

@Proserpina thank you so much. 

 

[Carl-Richard]

The most important distinction is between type 1 (with mania, psychosis) and type 2 (with hypomania, no psychosis). I've seen my dad in various stages of mania and visited him at the mental hospital once. It's like the mind becomes a superconductor or a superliquid substance. It makes associations between different concepts at an alarming rate, and it's hard to hold a conversation, because they'll either speak way too much or switch topics very rapidly. The strings connecting the topics tend to be hyper-abstract and hard to follow, and they probably contain many layers of meaning that a non-manic person will miss. Sometimes words are associated with each other based on sound quality rather than meaning ("clanging"), kinda like freestyle rap, which in severe cases becomes incomprehensible.

[Preety_India]

@Carl-Richard what I observed with my mother is that she would suddenly talk about something completely unrelated. Or giggle out of nowhere. Extreme reactions to petty stuff. It's tough to hold a conservation with her because she talks excessively without breaks, compulsive talking. Also she immediately jumps to something unrelated. And I can never logic with her. 

 

[Proserpina]

6 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

The most important distinction is between type 1 (with mania, psychosis) and type 2 (with hypomania, no psychosis). I've seen my dad in various stages of mania and visited him at the mental hospital once. It's like the mind becomes a superconductor or a superliquid substance. It makes associations between different concepts at an alarming rate, and it's hard to hold a conversation, because they'll either speak way too much or switch topics very rapidly. The strings connecting the topics tend to be hyper-abstract and hard to follow, and they probably contain many layers of meaning that a non-manic person will miss. Sometimes words are associated with each other based on sound quality rather than meaning ("clanging"), kinda like freestyle rap, which in severe cases becomes incomprehensible.

I can relate to this.  Except from my perspective they are rapid synchronicity and messages. More so recieving than creation. 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Proserpina said:

I can relate to this.  Except from my perspective they are rapid synchronicity and messages. More so recieving than creation. 

That's interesting. 

[Preety_India]

@Carl-Richard do you remember the positive aspects of your dad's bipolar side?

[Carl-Richard]

I have some personal experiences as well (not bipolar, but psychotic symptoms). Some months before my spiritual awakening at 19, I think I was very close to a psychotic break, induced by heavy cannabis use, dysfunctional coping and escalating stress. I was already highly prone to anxiety and neuroticism, and my mind was starting to become increasingly hyper-associative, also thinking thoughts at a rapid rate. My speech pattern became very weird (word choice, tone of voice, mannerisms etc.), and my general sense of reality became slightly altered (aspects of my visuospatial awareness was actually deteriorating). My attention increasingly shifted towards my inner world, and I was losing touch with my surroundings.

Luckily, I spent a weekend with my friends at a vacation house, and one of them (who is on the spectrum and is more likely to be honest despite social cost) told me in semi-private "you're talking too much". That suddenly gave me a moment of self-awareness, and it made me shift my attention from my inner world to the social world, and I thought "oh crap, I'm actually being kinda weird!". I think this saved me, because the day after that, my mental state had almost returned to normal, probably because I was more attuned to average mental state of the social group. I think this is one reason why social isolation is a risk factor for mental illness, as it detaches you from the average baseline of the social word.

This experience was in fact the breaking point that initiated my journey towards self-development (I watched Leo's video "40 signs you're being neurotic" on the train ride home, and it hit me like a ton of bricks). I think that video, and my friend who told me I was being weird, actually saved my life.

[Preety_India]

@Carl-Richard I can't imagine you acting too weird for some reason.  you would be so cute to listen to. Maybe emotional (I'm imagining Jordan Peterson vibes) 

 

 

[Proserpina]

14 minutes ago, Benton said:

 @Proserpina There isn't a difference.  Once you become conscious of yourself. It is non dual.

True. Sometimes I'm aware of that, sometimes not.

[Carl-Richard]

35 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Carl-Richard do you remember the positive aspects of your dad's bipolar side?

He is extremely open-minded, creative and compassionate. He implicitly taught me the importance of internal motivation through the way he raised me, his actions and general approach to life, which is definitely another thing that saved my life. He is a great dad and I owe him a lot.

[Carl-Richard]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

@Carl-Richard I can't imagine you acting too weird for some reason.  you would be so cute to listen to. Maybe emotional (I'm imagining Jordan Peterson vibes) 

I was probably the Jordan Peterson in my group of friends 

[Proserpina]

When I'm in mania I'm typically very popular in my head and outside of my head. Something about the combination of being flirtatious with everyone, hyper confident and very sweet and cheerful (energetic). Like I'm pulling on the individual to come play. 

I'm happy in myself and my own company regardless of circumstances.  But circumstances tend to blossom.  

It's born out of boredom, contentment,  rest and time.  It naturally occurs,  a natural peak. As long as I stay away from depressive states. Chakra work, spiritual experiences and devotion amplify it.

Normally,  I am awkward, lack confidence and ignored. 

I don't like popularity personally.  People can be extra watchful of you and snarky. But it was interesting. 

In my highs I am equally awkward and ignored but there are no f*cks given and I'm bored/ contented in myself (the ticket to popularity)

Edited June 5, 2022 by Proserpina