This guy denies he likes me after showing signs he does

[somegirl]

I'm writing this so people can tell me if I am actually delusional and imagined him liking me, or it was indeed true but he is not man enough to admit it ?

I had a feelinf that he has a thing for me for some time now but I didn't say anything.

Then one night I went out with a friend to a bar and I saw him. Everything seemed normal until he put his hand on my waist and was kinda trying to get close to me as much as possible. I just remember feeling extremely uncomfortable. In my opinion, a guy doesn't put his hand on a girl's waist unless he has some other motive. It just doesn't seem right and fitting thing to do , especially because we were not close friends either.

So I left.

The next morning I received a message from his friend (yes) and he told me this guy actually likes me and was hoping that we would make out that night. I said to him that I don't feel the same about him and that I actually had an intuition that he liked me for some time now but now he just confirmed my doubts and assumptions. 

This rumor started spreading in my college, all my colleagues from my class found out about him liking me. And eventually, he found out that people knew.

The Interesting part is - once he found out that others knew about his feelings for me - he got very angry and defensive and told them that they are delusional and that he never liked me.

This kind of confused me. Why would he deny that he likes me when he behaved the way he did in the bar? Or was I just imagining everything and my intuition was wrong? 

[no_name]

2 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Why would he deny that he likes me when he behaved the way he did in the bar?

Because you said you don’t like him to his friend and he doesn’t want to appear like a loser who is chasing someone who doesn’t like him 

[Bando]

Lol college, I sometimes forget how young people on this forum are ofc he liked you no guy grabs another girls waist unless he's trying to establish sexual intent. You essentially rejected him and his boys were probably giving him shit about so he had to save face. 

It can be pretty humiliating when your advances get declined especially when other people end up finding out, just give him space and dont make a big deal about when others try to bring up the subject to you.

[somegirl]

5 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

This the type of shit I used to do somewhere in my early teens. No grown ass man should act like this lol

And he is like 32 y/o. ?

I am 22. 

[StarStruck]

When you reject a guy it hurts his ego. A guy with self respect doesn’t chase a girl who rejected him. And that is why you secretly like him right now. ?

Edited May 31, 2022 by StarStruck

[egoeimai]

He liked you. For the sake of asking, what didn't you like on him? 

 

[somegirl]

47 minutes ago, Bando said:

It can be pretty humiliating when your advances get declined especially when other people end up finding out, just give him space and dont make a big deal about when others try to bring up the subject to you.

I see.

I never talked about this with anybody, rumor started spreading from an unknown source.
 

28 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

And that is why you secretly like him right now. ?

Aw, you figured me out.

21 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

are you really that clueless to not understand why would a person do something like this after the whole college starts to gossip about them or are you just trying to boos you ego with this thread?

I am actually pretty cautious with these kind of stuff.

I had a few experiences in the past, one in which people from high school were telling me my crush likes me, and I had a feeling he really does like me too, but when I confessed my feelings to him, he denied he liked me and straight up ignored me after that, which was pretty painful.
Similar thing happened in elementary school.

This is why I cannot be sure anymore.

Edited May 31, 2022 by somegirl

[somegirl]

15 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

For the sake of asking, what didn't you like on him? 

 

I don't like his mannerisms mostly. I couldn't find a thing that would make me attracted to him in romantic sense.

[Federico del pueblo]

1 hour ago, somegirl said:

This kind of confused me. Why would he deny that he likes me when he behaved the way he did in the bar? Or was I just imagining everything and my intuition was wrong? 

Shouldn't that all be quite obvious?

He felt rejected and silly. Then he felt like a school boy who got caught liking a girl that didn't like him back:. "hahah Tommy likes Tina, Tommy likes Tina..." 

So now he has to deny it to save face and not feel even more humiliated.

Also his action of putting his hand on your waist seems uncalibrated, like he doesn't know what he's doing. The upper arm/shoulder is a much better starting point for physicality, but ideally what is spoken about verbally should match that physicality, like he shouldn't be speaking about the weather while touching a girl.

[somegirl]

12 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Shouldn't that all be quite obvious?

It's not obvious to me because I had quite a few situations where I thought things were obvious but I was dead wrong.

For example, I was almost sure my high school crush also liked me back, given his behaviur towards me, and his best friend was teasing us both too, and when I finally confessed my love to him, he denied that he liked me and ignored me afterwards, which was pretty painful thing to go through at the time.

Was also told in elementary school my crush likes me, and again, it was false.

So I started doubting my judgement and intuition. 

This is why I cannot be sure about anything anymore.

12 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

He felt rejected and silly. Then he felt like a school boy who got caught liking a girl that didn't like him back:. "hahah Tommy likes Tina, Tommy likes Tina..." 

So now he has to deny it to save face and not feel even more humiliated.

Got it, but I thought he would stand by his words nevertheless

 

Edited May 31, 2022 by somegirl

[StarStruck]

@Knowledge Hoarder some girls don’t need a honey boo. They need that **** that is off limit. Nobody wants something that everybody can get. That premium shit that one has to work for is just valued more.  It is just human psychology. 

Today I was in the gym and this hot piece didn’t give me any attention although I looked at her couple of times. So I went and I talked to a hotter girl and I caught her looking at us with jealousy and she quickly looked away. 

Never let a bis take you for granted. She should be walking on egg shells for you. 

[StarStruck]

@Knowledge Hoarder she didn’t reject me. What I tried to illustrate is that it is part of the game. Pickup is not called game for nothing. You need how to learn to play just like how children learn to play in kindergarten. Taking it personal is a game killer. I caught her jealous and that was just - fun - to see. I enjoyed it and I don’t need more out of it. I already got the other one that is hotter anyway. 

[Federico del pueblo]

@somegirl  

1 hour ago, somegirl said:

For example, I was almost sure my high school crush also liked me back, given his behaviur towards me, and his best friend was teasing us both too, and when I finally confessed my love to him, he denied that he liked me and ignored me afterwards, which was pretty painful thing to go through at the time.

Sorry to hear that.

Even in that case we don't really know what was going on. He might have liked you but thought it was cooler to deny it. High school people can be very unpredictable anyway.

In the recent case you described it all seems very unambiguous though. I mean if HIS FRIEND texts you that this guy liked you, how could he possibly have known that? Only if they talked about it.

But maybe the people who talked about him were being like low-key bullies, making a bit of fun of him. Then obviously the ego feels emasculated and wants to defend any remaining honour and pride, so he just denied that he even liked you (hoping this would solve the problem).

[Arcangelo]

2 hours ago, no_name said:

Because you said you don’t like him to his friend and he doesn’t want to appear like a loser who is chasing someone who doesn’t like him 

I agree

[somegirl]

44 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

In the recent case you described it all seems very unambiguous though. I mean if HIS FRIEND texts you that this guy liked you, how could he possibly have known that? Only if they talked about it.

He might be lying.

[Raze]

This is common. Many people, especially men, feel shame about liking someone because they got made fun of for it. He may also be bothered everyone thinks / knows you rejected him as well which makes him look bad.

[Username]

1 hour ago, Arcangelo said:

I agree

I agree too.

Another possible scenario is that he is just gaming for a sake of experience. I might seem to be interested in some when in reality I'm only attracted enough to be playful but do not expect or want anything out of it.

[somegirl]

But guys, do you think that it is a possibility that his friend lied? Just to make drama?

[Federico del pueblo]

26 minutes ago, somegirl said:

But guys, do you think that it is a possibility that his friend lied? Just to make drama?

Nah...that sounds like something that girls would do.

 

 

3 hours ago, somegirl said:

 

 

[Username]

2 hours ago, somegirl said:

But guys, do you think that it is a possibility that his friend lied? Just to make drama?

This is just his opinion. I guess that guy didn't tell him if he likes you or not, so in this case it would be just him guessing. I doubt he would lie.

You are making it more simplistic than it really is. There are many aspects and degrees to attraction. The funny thing is that it's possible to develop feeling for someone and not be willing to do anything about that. If I interact with a female it might be easy to get hooked - just because of polarity. However it's still obvious for me that it will fade quickly.

Obviously he 'liked you'. However it's almost impossible to guess his intentions and I think that's what you are really curious about.

Edited June 1, 2022 by Username