Leo's video on how to love does not correlate well with getting girls

[Karmadhi]

So i watched Leo's videon on how to love which he posted 8 days ago. First of all i would like to say it is an amaizing video and i really enjoyed it and gained wisdom from it. However, i feel like a lot of the things on that video work great for keeping relationships together (platonic, romantic and family), but when it comes to getting girls to be attracted to you and want to be with you it does not seem to work well.

I have noticed that girls, especially young ones 18-25, tend to be into guys that are quite toxic. How do i define toxic? Well, giving mixed signals, low empathy, very selfish, bit controlling (depends), bit narcissistic and drama creator. So the opposite of healthy and steady and stable.

My question is, how can i become more loving and selfless and empathetic like Leo says when girls are attracted to the exact opposite of it. It seems like i have to be toxic and unpredictable and ghost girls and do all this BS in order to get them hooked into me.  And guys i have seen so many examples of this in my life with people i know that i am convinced beyond a doubt that this is what works with young girls. Do not even bother explaining to me that young girls do not respond well to this toxic crap. I just need to know how can i be attractive to girls while being stable, healthy, actualized, caring, honest, humble and non-drama person.

Honestly i feel like sometimes i should just start playing games and become a toxic fuck and do what some of my guy friends do if i want a girl to be attracted to me. It is very tempting but i do not want to go through that route, i feel like it would corrupt me and would be hard to go back. SO

So please, some advice would be really appreciated.

Edited May 30, 2022 by Karmadhi

[Leo Gura]

Haha, But Leo, how do I get what I want?!

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura I am 23 years old you expect me to be that selfless?  

Honestly though, some advice on how to balance these two things would be appreciated, i am sure you had the same issues when you started this stuff.

If i just wanted to get what i wanted i would just be a devil and problem solved. However, i am trying to avoid that and be more loving and selfless while having my needs met. I think it is not asking much to have a balance on this stuff.

Edited May 30, 2022 by Karmadhi

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9j4kfv-pMw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzwlBNj52OA
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqDylBrAFGU

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkwxdEVBe0U

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI73CQtDqKQ

 

[Leo Gura]

@Karmadhi You can copy the exterior of a player while maintaining a spiritual core. At least to some degree.

But generally speaking the more spiritual you are the less hot pussy you will get.

[Proserpina]

Abundance is attractive. If you know love, you can know self love if you turn it inward.  Practice self love for high abundance. 

[Karmadhi]

42 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

But generally speaking the more spiritual you are the less hot pussy you will get.

How do you manage to get hot girls then? You re probably more spiritual than  99.99% of the people that do pick up or males your age in general and still you posted pics of a hot girl you slept with.

Pretty sure u were spiritual even in your early pua days, at least compared to the average person that is not spiritual much in western countries.

[puporing]

3 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

how can i become more loving and selfless and empathetic like Leo says when girls are attracted to the exact opposite of it

Lol well I'm not, so there's a sample size of 1 that does not fall under your hypothesis. The problem for me has always been not enough love and selflessness, not the other way around. Does not mean you have to be 'un-sexy' to be loving and selfless. 

Edited May 31, 2022 by puporing

[Federico del pueblo]

@Karmadhi

It's true that the young girls (and maybe even not so young ones) often respond well to toxic, slightly asshole-ish behaviour.

But that's just cause it's more interesting than the stereotypical nice guy. The nice guy is needy, clingy, and attached.

You can still run good game without being super toxic. You must be DETACHED, not toxic. Admittedly the line between these two things can seem very thin.

You could actually be quite positive if you're also very non-needy.

You're non-needy if you are not concerned about a girl's judgement of you and about whether or not it works out with you and her, thus you're also not concerned about potential rejection.

In fact once you are extremely non-needy you're more concerned about whether SHE meets your standards, not about whether you're good enough for her.

Girls feel drawn to guys that have more of something that they feel they don't have enough of. That's why good game has a lot to do with validation.

If girls feel that you have more self-love than them, then they will often get attracted, the same is true for happiness, passion, a cool life etc. (So start with self-love).

But you can't be fake-happy like some goofball who's actually seeking validation by entertaining others with silly jokes. You must be the source of validation. All that people are chasing is love and happiness and a lot of people try to attain that by attaining validation from others.

With girls the validation that you give can't be completely unconditional though. A girl only gets your validation if she's cool enough. Your validation must be earned. You can't be like Jesus with girls, like when they slap you, you let them slap your other cheek, no no no.

Strong boundaries, standards, fearlessness, non-neediness, man-to-woman stuff, willingness to walk away etc.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

How do you manage to get hot girls then? You re probably more spiritual than  99.99% of the people that do pick up or males your age in general and still you posted pics of a hot girl you slept with.

Pretty sure u were spiritual even in your early pua days, at least compared to the average person that is not spiritual much in western countries.

If you knew how much sex I sacrificed you would cry.

I didn't say no pussy. I said less.

[aurum]

6 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Honestly i feel like sometimes i should just start playing games and become a toxic fuck and do what some of my guy friends do if i want a girl to be attracted to me.

Do you think you’ve made a shadow out of some of these “toxic” qualities?

From my perspective, this Lose/Lose situation of “I can only be attractive or emotionally healthy” does not exist. It is possible to achieve both. But it sounds like you feel it has to be one or the other, which of course will generate feelings of resistance towards both.

[Jacob Morres]

Yeah this Part of dating confuses the fuck out of me. Selflessness turns girls off? I'd rather have 0 girls then

I'm not giving up my soul for any woman make it make sense 

Edit: @aurum good point ?

Edited May 31, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[actuallyenlightened]

1 hour ago, Jacob Morres said:

Yeah this Part of dating confuses the fuck out of me. Selflessness turns girls off? I'd rather have 0 girls then

I'm not giving up my soul for any woman make it make sense 

Edit: @aurum good point ?

You could be selfless, ie have a burning ambition to change the world for the betterment of humanity. Of course humanity is more important than personal relationships 

5 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Karmadhi You can copy the exterior of a player while maintaining a spiritual core. At least to some degree.

But generally speaking the more spiritual you are the less hot pussy you will get.

That's probably the case for non-duality stuff but spirituality also includes going in the opposite direction and connecting to the earth + aligning your primal energies. In other words, by awakening your root chakra, you should develop a connection to the part of God that spent eons perfecting getting laid. That's one way of naturally improving charisma. The vast majority of men don't systematically work on this so it should put you at least in the top 1%

[Hello from Russia]

20 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Karmadhi You can copy the exterior of a player while maintaining a spiritual core. At least to some degree.

But generally speaking the more spiritual you are the less hot pussy you will get.

But it can be the best pussy imaginable in return, right. Give up pussy to get the best pussy. Pussy!

Edited May 31, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Leo Gura]

There is a silver lining. What you lose in quantity and raw material hotness you can make up many fold in depth of connection.

You are going from shallow as an oil spill to deep as a well.

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

There is a silver lining. What you lose in quantity and raw material hotness you can make up many fold in depth of connection

No. The guy has to be attractive. Otherwise the pussy doesn't activate. 

 

[Leo Gura]

Oh, pussy will activate for a man who is truly spiritual. Trust me

But you must still learn to be a MAN. Spirituality is not a shortcut around that. The core fundamentals of game are still operative. You can use spirituality to ground yourself deeply in an authenic masculinity.

But you still have to leave your basement and talk to girls to get girls. There is no shortcut for that. If you are too scared to approach a hot girl and look her square in the eyes then what does your spirituality really mean?

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Oh, pussy will activate for a man who is truly spiritual. Trust me

Only if the looks are devilish.

A girl wants something that she can be proud of in her man. 

If the man looking like grumpy cat, then uff, no. 

 

[Preety_India]

@Leo Gura and you forgot sexual skills. Pussy activating skills 

 

[StarStruck]

@Leo Gura

I think if one is a nice guy one has to learn to love itself, be ok with being selfish and when we get ours we can truly become more spiritual and a better partner. 

Girls don’t like nice guys because they haven’t incorporated the inner warrior (the go-getter) and that is very repulsive because it is a huge aspect of survival of her and her possible kids. 

The problem is that developing this inner warrior can’t be done without causing damage. One can’t develop it without overcompensating somehow; let’s be honest. I’ve had to learn to break hearts and break pussy with minimal damage done to the other party. 

Once the inner warrior is developed and integrated one can become more heart centered but it is easy to become heart centered if one already got the bacon many times. And girls don’t feed bacon to thirsty guys.