I get physically sick after every time a girl flakes

[hyruga]

Some people are more impromptu. You can ask them out suddenly today and they will agree.

Some requires huge amount of planning and lead time. You have to ask them 1 week in advance. Haha. 

So you can try different strategies.

[somegirl]

39 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Plenty of guys hitting all your attraction triggers that would be into you. You are just making excuses for continuing to date people u shouldnt.

So you re telling me there are no funny, confident, cute, smart guys out there that are into you that do call you back? Not 1?

I literally can't control who I get attracted to... Neither can you.

And well, there is one guy.

Edited May 30, 2022 by somegirl

[Karmadhi]

12 minutes ago, somegirl said:

I literally can't control who I get attracted to... Neither can you.

And well, there is one, but the question is if he is into me too. And he seems like a nice guy too, not a f boy. So yeah, will see.

I get attracted to guys that hit my biological attraction switches, so do you.

A guy ignoring you and not being interested in you is not an attraction switch, is just nothing. You probably got attracted to something else than him not being into you.

Edited May 30, 2022 by Karmadhi

[Federico del pueblo]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

I get attracted to guys that hit my biological attraction switches, so do you.

There we have it. You like guys, not girls...that changes everything! ?

[Karmadhi]

@Federico del pueblo omg that was a typo lol.

Should have been girls, my mistake  

[Raze]

6 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

I get attracted to guys that hit my biological attraction switches, so do you.

A guy ignoring you and not being interested in you is not an attraction switch, is just nothing. You probably got attracted to something else than him not being into you.

That’s not true, a guy being aloof or not being interested can trigger attraction in women and get them to chase. Some girls are only attracted to guys who will abandon them, and lose interest when they commit, because of attachment issues.

Edited May 31, 2022 by Raze

[Gesundheit2]

Flaking is a passive-aggressive behavior, especially the longer you've known the person. You don't want these kinds of people in your life, so you should be rather happy. It's literally their loss and your gain, cuz you stay true to your word while they don't. You follow a moral principle while they don't.

If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it's totally worth it.

Edited May 31, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[StarStruck]

@Leo Gura you said night game phone numbers are useless and we should try instant pull. Do you think the same about day game? Because my flake rates with day game are very high. 

[Arcangelo]

@Vrubel

It makes sense you are being denied the opportunity to reproduce

[Arcangelo]

On 5/30/2022 at 9:30 AM, somegirl said:

If I had extreme physical reaction to guys rejecting me time and time again, the guys I so desperately wanted to be with in the past, I would not be a sane person anymore lol.

Now things are a little different, but even now I thought it would be a lot easier to get a guy I want, now that I'm much more physically attractive and more confident than I ever ever was growing up.

Thought I would have to just point my finger to a guy I want and he's mine. But it's a bit more complicated than that. And plus, it seems like I have a thing for guys who do not like me back. Last time I went on a date and after that never heard from him again.

So I don't know, you have to not take it personally and like it means anything to your self-worth. That's the most important thing. To keep thinking you're the shit even after rejection. But really believe it.

Then things will change eventually.

Your perspective is very valuable.

[Ulax]

On 30/05/2022 at 2:44 PM, Raze said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHfAMh6Edm4

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7L2MzmE8cwo

 

Ye this is gold.

But, I think the main mistake you're making is where you're asking these sorts of questions. I'd start asking questions in healing sections of forums like this. 

I'd go and do IFS asap. Dating without sorting out your trauma first is just essentially getting dodgy therapy and replaying your life traumas again and again.

It won't go with time and experience. You'll just get better at papering over the cracks.

Prioritise the right work.

[Danioover9000]

   Flaking is a type of trolling, not surprised in the least flaking is common in this day and age. Those men, or women, who flake the most are just into playing this power dynamic. They know you crave their attention, so as a power play, they deny you that needed attention.

Edited June 8, 2022 by Danioover9000

[Danioover9000]

   Also if this is really making you ill, lay off the dating a bit until you sort out your health first. You take first priority, cuz from you comes really good value, you are the bridge to providing amazing value, focus on fixing the bridge first.

[axiom]

Flakiness stems from low self-esteem. 

[Tudo]

33 minutes ago, axiom said:

Flakiness stems from low self-esteem. 

Yeah, I think the same.

[Danioover9000]

@axiom

41 minutes ago, axiom said:

Flakiness stems from low self-esteem. 

   Or from the need to troll for power play. Actually both do come from low self esteem, but one is more addictive than the other, and doing it face to face is far more addictive than doing it online.

[something_else]

2 hours ago, axiom said:

Flakiness stems from low self-esteem. 

I disagree, it stems from abundance.

If you had 5 girls interested in you, you would not really fuss over the least attractive one that much, you would put minimal effort into conversations, only respond to part of their message, maybe make some vague plans but nothing concrete, forget parts of the conversation because you weren't really paying attention, forget about planned dates, all the classical flaky behaviour happens when you have a low investment in someone

It's like if you have 10 recruiters offering you a job on LinkedIn. You don't really go through and reject them all, you just choose the best one and move forward with that. During the process, maybe you briefly (and with minimal effort) engage with a few others to keep them around in case the best one falls through.