How Happy Are Normal Everyday People?

[Chrissy j]

Like the normal everyday people. People not developing themselves actively. The kind that just go to work and just raise a family. There is a good chance they aren't living to their full potential. The whole self help idea of these people are miserable and the majority of people are miserable just doesn't seem to be true to me. Are they really suffering that bad? I mean obviously there is little suffering and annoyances these people unnecessarily have and some regret, some neurosis, but I feel a majority of people are generally happy. My high school Psychology class and book was talking about how most people are generally content and happy in life. There is a baseline happiness that most people return to even after something awesome happens in their life (winning the lottery for most normal people) and bad things (depression). How much better of a life will a self actualized person living to their full potential live? And how will fullfillment play into all of this?

[Zane]

To me, everyday people are probably deeply unfulfilled and are concerned about petty things that don't really matter! They tend to stick to their comfort zones and they reluctant at best and unaware at worst to self-actualization. They could be "happy" with their lives but they don't realize that an amazing life is available for them. But I could be making a generalization because there's so many types of people out there and so many cultures! 

[Trond]

Most people are attached to their ego, to their story of who they are. You're not truly happy unless you detach from that though, but since they don't know about it, in their world, they're happy. Going after their goals, raising family etc. Nothing wrong with any of that, its just how it works if you're not aware of your own psychology. 

However, I think there some part of everyone, deep down something telling them that they could be doing something more or something else, subconsciously 

[Nahm]

A lot of people are swept up in their long work week and poor eating habits. When they hear about healthy eating, being fit, meditation, etc, they feel bad about what they aren't doing for themselves. They make things into mountains instead of accepting where they are and moving forward one small change at a time. But it seems like eventually, a lot of people do begin to change. Why are breakthroughs so rare and why does it take so long for people to wake up? What is the best way to "wake someone up"?

[PureExp]

11 minutes ago, Phil said:

What is the best way to "wake someone up"?

Its the most difficult thing you will ever attempt

I speak from experience, people have immense egos, Jupiter sized... and as soon as you tell them - you are wrong here, you need to fix this about yourself, they resist and will charge you like a mad bull. Not only they do not know, they do not want to know.

The ignorance is so deep that its not just not knowing, its not knowing that they do not know. And perhaps a few levels deeper still. Not so long ago, I was exactly like that, so again personal experience here lol.

That's why I appreciate much what some people and teachers (like Leo) are doing, they are trying to do the impossible, impossible for an ordinary person like me.

[Trond]

@PureExp I so agree with you. It's so funny to see through the outer layers of your own ignorance. Because we all are, to some degree. Having these insights, realisations and simply just pure understanding of your own ignorance is truly wonderful  As you peel of one layer and laugh, you see another one later. The depth of it can't be understood. 

[Zane]

To me, I've always had a deep disdain towards "normal" because of being on the Autism Spectrum. To me, "normal" is a word that that means "be accepted" but it really means to kill creativity and stomp out individuality and freedom. It's denying humanity's uniqueness! 

[Zane]

Discovering Actualized.org was HONESTLY a profound realization for me!!!!! It helped me clear away my mental fog and it honestly gives me a HUGE advantage over most people because of my daily meditation for 40 minutes and my daily creativity. I realize that this creativity is a HUGE advantage over Donald Trump who embodies the worst of Americana!! In many ways, Donald Trump and his supporters are worthy opponents because they embody everything that angers me about humanity. 

[JKG]

My father claims that he is in the best position (career wise) he can ever be and very lucky about all these external circumstances. But 95% of the days he comes home annoyed, gets easily aggressive, tired... They fool themselves so badly!

[Nahm]

@quantum for sure! That's a big piece of it. It seems like most people have actually fooled themselves. Like, they believe in a bunch of things. They really believe. So weird. 

[tyy]

@quantum This resonates with me too. My dad was always successful at putting food on the table and a roof over our heads but failed to connect with us on an emotional level. He would come home feeling those ways as well, while barely staying awake passed dinner. It seems to be an even harder hole to climb out of as a middle aged man. While his own mental state will keep him trapped there he also lacks the skills some may take for granted every day like operating a podcast on a phone, youtube, or internet forums. Without those things it's probably a lot more difficult to keep from being fooled.

[Nahm]

@tcrawfff we are so lucky to even have lives where we're commenting on this forum. 

[tyy]

@Phil I know eh! I feel so grateful that I am aware of sources like actualized.org. All it takes is stumbling across one Leo video and maybe these "everyday" people start down a new path.

[Zane]

@brovakhiin Thank you for expressing this point! Sorry if my point came across as arrogant! I'm just observing how unfamiliar the concept of self-actualization is and the confusions of happiness and fulfillment. This can especially apply to colleges and the corporate world where people can feel deeply trapped and unfulfilled in the rat race that self-actualization feels like a distant dream in mainstream society. I realize that ever since i was a child, i was on track with a purpose, i fell off track, and i re-discovered it. As Leo stated in his video "How To Exploit People" he expresses how people tend to be unaware and that people striving for self-actualization or ambition can feel detached from their peers. With the current political climate especially with the rise of Donald Trump and the alt right, it shows how low consciousness people can be and how there's a greater need for self-actualization more than ever. Our political culture reveals how toxic society can be and how tribal it still is. I notice how i've been driven by authenticity and seeking out my authentic friends and my purpose and i had experiences where i connected deeply with people and art because it speaks to me deeply and profoundly. I realize that one of the great tragedies of humanity is being blessed with infinite potential and yet it goes to waste. To quote William Wallace, "every man dies but not every man really lives" 

Edited February 3, 2017 by Zane

[Alicja_]

I don't think that every person doing personal development is by definition happier from one who has never heard of it. Perhaps, this is true for a majority of people. Still, I know some very decent, hard-working, passionate people who live a happy, peaceful life, and they have never studied anything related, in the slightest, to personal development. Somehow, their  upbringing, environment, life choices, inner wisdom pushed them in the right directions. These are highly intuitive, good-natured people. 

Also, there are some people who do personal development with a lot of negative motivation. It's difficult to experience happiness in its fullest potential when your motivation is negative. Let's say, just hypothetically, "I do personal development to quit drinking/smoking/drugs", "I do it to stop being a victim", "I do it cos I hate my low self-esteem". It's hard to be happy with thoughts like this. I'm a bit stuck here cos my motivation still ranges from positive to negative.

And, of course, there are some, as mentioned above, who don't care about dignity, self-respect, goodness and growth at all, whether they ever heard of personal development or not.

Edited February 3, 2017 by Alicja_

[AxelK]

Just like people doing PD are different with different happiness levels, so are people not doing PD. It's not like everyday people are a monolith and everyone who does PD are automatically not as fullfilled and happy as people who do PD. This is one of the traps of PD i've experienced, its so easy to get caught in this superiority paradigm where you look at everyone else like undeveloped children. The irony is that this kind of thinking just makes you seem less developed than the average Joe. 

Also, one of the reason many people are attracted to PD, is that they're ususally not happy/unfulfilled in the first place. Most everyday people who are happy or fulfilled enough have no reason to approach PD.

[Markus]

My parents (or at least one) get mad when I tell them I think they're unhappy. And I'm like: "Duh."

[Nahm]

@AxelK I appreciate your comment so much because it gives me clarity on the matter. I respectfully wholly disagree. The main theme of PD is joy and happiness. Anyone who has read, listened to, attended, etc self help or PD in a consistent manor is happier for having done it. I think you could also sum it up that we learn how to let go of the resistant thoughts we hold on to ignorantly, and suddenly begin to realize there aren't "happy" people and "sad" people, but rather everyone is Where they are. Some say "damn it, there must be more to this, there must be more joy" and they begin their path, and if they stay on the path, they find what they are looking for. While others think there is no "path" and that the whole subject is silly, and they waste years and sometimes decades until they wake up and say "damn it, there must be more joy".

[Hsinav]

@MochaSlap Most people on the planet today live in a state of mental anxiety which at the very bottom is fear of death. Most peoples motivation to do things does not com from joy but from a place of deep rooted fear of what will happen with them if the don´t do certain things. It´s a very subtle thing, not like an acute fear, moore like anxiety/anger/discomfort but you can tell by looking in there faces. i would say 95% of the population live there lives like this. A lot of young people too, some very good to disguise this. 

 

[Chrissy j]

Yeah honestly it just depends on the person. I'm sure many people are happy that are just normal but many are unhappy as well. Some people will have a life purpose and such. BUT without some form of self growth I don't think you will reach the Mt. top. How will you when you are so unconscious to everything you do? Without personal development I would have been fucked...

Edited February 3, 2017 by MochaSlap
Adding to my comment