Egoism versus altruism question

[StarStruck]

For example if I’m competing for a girl and I see the other guy being sad, I can be heavily influenced by that and stop pursuing her. 

This is a question about competition. In competition the eye is on the prize, not on your opponents feelings. I really have a hard time developing this ruthlessness that is needed to get mine. 

I think it comes down to emotional mastery? Not being identified with feelings of compassion? Obviously I want to be a compassionate person but I think it should be in balance with my own survival needs. At this moment I feel I’m too soft. I want to have the ability to be hard or soft according to own wishes.

I don’t think there is a magic formula for this. Just be selfish by not listening to my beta feelings? I’m not happy with being this soft. 

[gettoefl]

i think as we awaken we soften

existence has my back and is making everything work for my good

what's mine will find me and i don't need to lift a finger

existence makes it walk through my door and there isn't need on my part to chase, crave, cling