Balancing loving what is and encouraging growth

[Identity]

This is really a core challenge I’ve been facing over the last couple of years now that I think about it.

Leo’s new video of love brought it to the surface.

So… one key element of love is accepting things the way they are, seeing the beauty, without needing it to change.

Then there is the side of vision, improvement, potential, growth. Encouraging something to be better.

How can these two be united in a healthy way?

Example;

A good friend of mine has been going through some challenging times. Usually a super healthy guy, now picked up smoking. Now, what would it mean for me to love him? Because, yes, there is the side of embracing him, supporting him, understanding, listening, perhaps the more feminine side of love. But is there not also place for a more masculine type of love? Something like, cmon dude, I know you can do better than this. You have way more potential, get your ass off that couch.

There is more I can share on this, but perhaps this is a good place to get a discussion going.

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, Identity said:

Example;

A good friend of mine has been going through some challenging times. Usually a super healthy guy, now picked up smoking. Now, what would it mean for me to love him? Because, yes, there is the side of embracing him, supporting him, understanding, listening, perhaps the more feminine side of love. But is there not also place for a more masculine type of love? Something like, cmon dude, I know you can do better than this. You have way more potential, get your ass off that couch.

You can do both.

Start by genuinely accepting him as he is. Then communicate to him the highest potential you see in him. Then give him a bit of a kick in the ass. And if he isn't open to it, let it go and accept him as he is. Don't keep pestering him to grow if you bring it up and sense he isn't open to it.

You can always just ask, "Do you want my advice? Do you want to know what I see in you?" and if he says No, then never bring it up again.

[SonataAllegro]

The key is empathy, if you were in his situation you may very well want a friend to give you a compassionate kick in the ass, but you don't want to be shamed. The right time and the right words will come to you, just focus on having the right intention.

[Identity]

Hmm yeah, I have more work to do on accepting reality as it is.

starting off with myself. Fully loving and accepting who I am right now and where I stand.

Then it will also be natural to do the same for the people around me. Then my encouragement to grow will be detached. Now there is still a certain needing to it, a certain rejection from where they are right now.