My career and getting married

[Gesundheit2]

17 minutes ago, Someone here said:

there are lots of singles here in India

There are lots of incels in America too. So, that's not an excuse.

If I could get laid in the middle-east, I don't see why anyone else can't.

17 minutes ago, Someone here said:

not everyone wants to be single though but  Many want to fall in love, date someone and thus find a soulmate for life. But many realise that it’s difficult to find that in India. We see thousands of desperate questions being asked on Reddit and Quora on why it is so difficult to find a date in India. Why is Indian society so obsessed with arranged marriages? I find there are many reasons for this harsh reality of dating in India.

One of the important reasons is the strong influence of family, caste and religion in Indian society. The roots of family lineage and traditions have deepened over centuries in India. That’s why for any family, it becomes a matter of family status to marry their daughter or sister into an equal status family.

The same logic applies to caste and religion. The trio of these superficial concepts has destroyed the dating fabric in Indian society. One finds it difficult to go against their family, community and religion by dating or marrying someone who does not belong to the same community. 

You are right. Im obviously not ready to marry at this current life situation. But what are the alternatives?  I feel needy and desperate to find a girl with whom I fall in love with.   I also can't use porn and masturbation as I have decided finally that it's not healthy for me .  I guess I will just have to spend some time and effort before being able to achieve my dreams .

You are overthinking the limitations, and overlooking the simplicity of the situation. There isn't an Indian society, that's imaginary. There's only individuals, and they're different, so you shouldn't care about the general situation, but focus on the individual people that you meet. You just gotta keep searching until you find someone who fits your needs.

[Someone here]

8 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

There are lots of incels in America too. So, that's not an excuse.

If I could get laid in the middle-east, I don't see why anyone else can't.

You are overthinking the limitations, and overlooking the simplicity of the situation. There isn't an Indian society, that's imaginary. There's only individuals, and they're different, so you shouldn't care about the general situation, but focus on the individual people that you meet. You just gotta keep searching until you find someone who fits your needs.

Bro you just don't know the Indian society very well. I don't agree with calling it imaginary.  We are not living on our own like our ancestors or like animals in the jungle.  Each society has its own cultural norms . You can't for example equate the values and cultural norms of American society with Indian society.thats just absurd.

in our society a young woman or even a man can never find their life partner on their own. Hence, parents take up this responsibility even if no one has asked them to do so. They decide the fate of their kids’ dating lives even though their kids have grown up and become adults. This lack of belief amongst parents in their kids’ choice for their life partner, coupled with the security issues and fear that their kids, especially daughters, would end up marrying someone from another community/religion, has affected the dating environment in India.

That’s why dating in India, unlike in Western countries, never got its space to become acceptable like arranged marriages. Many consider it a part of Western culture, even though dating doesn’t have any nationality. The middle-class blames dating on rich people’s timepass and expect their kids to stay away from dating in order to focus on studies and thereby become successful in life. And among many rural populations in our society, dating doesn’t even enter their dictionary. It’s often a taboo for them, even assuming it to be a sort of hidden prostitution.

Hence, even though there are dating sites and apps available for people to connect and meet, due to the above reasons, finding a date online becomes difficult. In fact, unlike in Western countries, dating sites in India have added boundaries of caste, religion, language etc. that make the app almost a rehearsal for marriage.

It isn’t surprising that many dating sites have become matrimony sites. This doesn’t happen in other countries, where dating often involves meeting, understanding and liking each other in person without such superficial barriers. That is what dating should ideally have been in India.

So I guess if I ever want to get married or get laid ..I need some girl not from India.  

I guess yes. I want to marry a blondie 

[Yarco]

6 hours ago, Someone here said:

You are right. Im obviously not ready to marry at this current life situation. But what are the alternatives?  I feel needy and desperate to find a girl with whom I fall in love with.   I also can't use porn and masturbation as I have decided finally that it's not healthy for me .  I guess I will just have to spend some time and effort before being able to achieve my dreams .

Make yourself into a man worth marrying

[Danioover9000]

@Someone here

On 28/05/2022 at 0:06 AM, Yarco said:

Make yourself into a man worth marrying

   I could be wrong, but didn't Ghandi in his younger years payed prostitutes to sleep next to him, just to increase his self discipline? Be more like that, that you are grounded in your purpose and masculinity that you can sleep next to a naked woman without having sex.

   And step by step, no rush. Rushing will backfire at you really badly.

Edited May 29, 2022 by Danioover9000

[Someone here]

@Danioover9000 i don't want to have mindless sex with poor prostitutes. I tried  that with one girl and I felt regretful afterwards .

I want deep intimate connection with a woman  .not a casual flimsy relationship that expires quickly. And for that I need to marry a woman.  That's my ultimate goal and I'm beginning the work towards it starting from today. 

[Danioover9000]

@Someone here

14 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@Danioover9000 i don't want to have mindless sex with poor prostitutes. I tried  that with one girl and I felt regretful afterwards .

I want deep intimate connection with a woman  .not a casual flimsy relationship that expires quickly. And for that I need to marry a woman.  That's my ultimate goal and I'm beginning the work towards it starting from today. 

   That's fine, just don't rush towards that goal if you can't handle a GF, or still have self esteem, self confidence and self responsibility issues in yourself, and not know what you're getting into, and limit beliefs and fear barriers about relationships. Marriage and raising children really is hard work on your mind and body.

[Someone here]

7 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

@Someone here

   That's fine, just don't rush towards that goal if you can't handle a GF, or still have self esteem, self confidence and self responsibility issues in yourself, and not know what you're getting into, and limit beliefs and fear barriers about relationships. Marriage and raising children really is hard work on your mind and body.

I agree.i still have tons of work to do .I'm still a uni student and don't have a job yet so there is that .

But it was a long path to get to where I'm at today .

 Behind every successful marriage, are two people who have done some tremendous things before deciding they’re ready to take the next step.i Have considered a “must-do” list before putting the ring on my finger. Because I should, as there are things everyone needs to do before getting married.

.

[Bobby_2021]

Just one question: Is the business degree you are after really worth it? 

Evaluate the potential that comes with the degree. 

What you really need is a profitable skill. And universities are the last place you find them. They just teach you a bunch of garbage. 

Exception: Elite universities.

For eg in my profession, you don't need a cs degree to learn coding.

I am assuming you can practices sales & marketing and become proficient in it, instead of wasting time in uni.

 

Plus you will get to fuck a lot of girls in your thirties if you play your cards right now. This is the time to grind. I am on it as well. I will ditch any gf even if she comes to me at this point. Getting your life in order must be the only priority.

[Someone here]

40 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

Just one question: Is the business degree you are after really worth it? 

Evaluate the potential that comes with the degree. 

What you really need is a profitable skill. And universities are the last place you find them. They just teach you a bunch of garbage. 

Exception: Elite universities.

For eg in my profession, you don't need a cs degree to learn coding.

I am assuming you can practices sales & marketing and become proficient in it, instead of wasting time in uni.

 

Plus you will get to fuck a lot of girls in your thirties if you play your cards right now. This is the time to grind. I am on it as well. I will ditch any gf even if she comes to me at this point. Getting your life in order must be the only priority.

That’s a hard question to answer. everyone has their personal preferences and factors to weigh before deciding to pursue a degree.

A business degree is a great way to develop many of the transferable skills needed for working in a business environment. There are a number of business degrees which i can undertake, one of the most common of which is an undergraduate business studies degree. 

I can work as Business analyst. Business analysts put their business expertise to work by observing the market and business trends to create recommendations for the businesses they serve. 

Also I can work as an Account  .

The best part of choosing a career in this field may be that you don’t have to settle for one specific job: When you begin a business administration degree program, you will learn skills that can be transferred to several different positions across many career paths, you can expect to learn the following skills:

Analytical skills

Project management skills

Communication and leadership skills

Math and financial skills

Organizational skills.

So yeah I think it's worth it more than philosophy degree .even though I'm so passionate about philosophy but what are the chances of me becoming a philosophy professor?  Very low .  

[Bobby_2021]

All well then. Best of luck my friend. Grind it out. Build your empire. Towards greatness.

 

Also one last of piece of advice I may give it to not listen to too many people on the internet. THe chances are that they have a shittier life than you pretending to be great outside. Even if the advice is "good" it may not fit in your specific life circumstances. Life is largely a solo battle. It's difficult to integrate the advices coming from so many different people. 

Best of luck my friend.

Edited May 29, 2022 by Bobby_2021

[Bobby_2021]

2 hours ago, Danioover9000 said:

And step by step, no rush. Rushing will backfire at you really badly.

This. 

"The reason it takes longer is because you want it faster." 

[Someone here]

@Bobby_2021 thanks bro