Can I be patient with this girl or am I overthinking things

[Cepzeu]

Part of my gut feeling is telling me I didn't push hard enought/wasn't sexual enough. Another part of my gut feeling is telling me I did exactly the right thing by being chill and non pressuring, given calibrating to the energy of the room.

 

Very quickly: matched on tinder. Very positive Convo with good back and forth. Switched to Instagram with her (which I use more often and you can send photos on). Built some more superficial comfort and pushed to meet up in person. 

Met up around 7pm went for some tea at a cafe, then wondered around supermarket and got some snacks (I like going around shops because you can chat and build comfort without sitting down for ages, it's more fun). 

Sat in her car and listened to music and chatted. Then I offered to go back to mine to keep listening to music and chatting. She agreed.

We chatted until midnight on my bed. All very positive. 

In terms of physicality, I did some light touching on shoulder/arm throughout night. No hand. Hug on meeting up. Was lying close to her on bed but not cuddling as didn't get 'positive' response. Neutral at best I think.

My impression was that I was testing the waters with more physicality but got neutral responses so dialled it back.

Also was not feeling that sex would be a win-win. I liked her and we had a great time but I don't think either of us were horny tbh. Regardless it was a very fun night and I really enjoyed it.

 

My problem is that I think with all the pickup theory I've read, it's kinda made me think that I didn't push hard enough. On the other hand, my feeling is that my calibration was correct and that I did the right thing in terms of building comfort and setting up for a future hookup.

My frame was to not let myself be the limiting factor and for all intents and purposes I wasn't. 

She had to go home and complete some documents to hand into work the next day so had a legitimate excuse to not stay the night. It was getting late and I said she's welcome to stay the night. Her response was that she would love to stay but just on another night.

Anyway later I walked her to her car. She had a great night and said "I feel like I've known you so long, we had such a deep connection"

Next day she messages: "Thank u so much for the amazing company you’re such a cool person! Couldn’t get over how comfortable I am around u and how much ya made me laugh. You ROCK"

 

Am in two minds. One part thinks I let it slip. One part thinks all is well and there is a setup for future hookup. One half thinks the other is a pussy for not being more dominant while the other thinks the first is animalistic/sexually pushy/outcome oriented and uncalibrated.

 

Need some perspective on this.

 

[something_else]

Lmao, she literally sent you a text telling you how great you were, whatever you did worked so stop overthinking it

What you should do next time you see her is actually let yourself get horny looking at her. Look into her eyes and let yourself feel raw physical attraction while you look at her. She will feel this energy if it's genuine and it will turn her on as well

[NoSelfSelf]

I think sex starts way before actual sex...sexual tension flirting convo should be moving in that direction from the start! its worst when you just have to jump to being sexual out of the blue ..all that "great" chit chat wasnt moving you towards what you want it seems just sex ?

[lizz_luna]

As a girl, I think you did pretty good. Personally, I can't hookup on the first/second date or at least haven't felt comfortable enough to do so. Have to build a good connection first, the text she sent you is a good indication of that, from my perspective you actually have a good change, probably on the next date she will be more open. You can also be honest about you you felt, basically that you wanted to respect her space but still let her know your intentions, that works for me at least lol