Getting out of the friendzone

[Alistair Kershaw]

So I've been talking to this girl that works at the gym I go to, we've been friends for about 9 months now and we've had a good ongoing friendship and we talk every time i'm there but I'm hoping to move things along so we're more than friends. We've often talked about movies we should watch and the other day I mentioned we should watch a movie together that we were talking about. Long story short her response was that we couldn't do that because it'd be crossing the friendship line. 

My question is how can I start to change this situation? It's pretty clear I've been too platonic with our relationship so far, does anyone have any advice on how to start to change the relationship to more of a man to woman relationship so she doesn't see me as just a friend without making it weird?

Should I be totally up front with my intentions for us to be more than friends from this point onwards? I'd like to stay friends if possible but if I have to burn that idea to the ground for potentially more than I'm willing to do that but I don't want to push too much and make it weird. 

Thanks in advance for any advice.

[Tudo]

Just move on and be straight forward about your intentions next time you meet a girl you like.

Are you still a teenager? I just can't believe adult men keep making these mistakes.

Edited May 26, 2022 by Tudo

[Alistair Kershaw]

@Tudo mid 20s. I'm well aware I fucked up from the get go. Is there no hope to changing the situation? It's been a long time since I've been into a girl like I am with her, but that's probably why I played it too safe.

[Tudo]

12 minutes ago, Alistair Kershaw said:

@Tudo mid 20s. I'm well aware I fucked up from the get go. Is there no hope to changing the situation? It's been a long time since I've been into a girl like I am with her, but that's probably why I played it too safe.

I won't lie to you buddy, it's extremely difficult to change this situation. All I would do is be sincere about my intentions. And if all she can offer is friendship, then I would end it and break contact with her. There is plenty of fish in the sea , go meet other girls, it's not easy but it's the right thing to do. Trying to force it  will just make things worse.

Edited May 26, 2022 by Tudo

[Tudo]

But I understand you, I've been there already.

Edited May 26, 2022 by Tudo

[Alistair Kershaw]

1 hour ago, Tudo said:

I won't lie to you buddy, it's extremely difficult to change this situation. All I would do is be sincere about my intentions. And if all she can offer is friendship, then I would end it and break contact with her. There is plenty of fish in the sea , go meet other girls, it's not easy but it's the right thing to do. Trying to force it  will just make things worse.

Yeah I figured it wouldn'tbe easy. I just thought I'd ask to see if I could salvage the situation. So you wouldn't recommend keeping the friendship going? It hurts to think about the relationship not going anywhere so it's probably wise to just cut the ties and move on I guess. 

Yeah I get there's plenty of fish in the sea, the problem is when I get eyes for one I don't care for the rest but i guess if the feelings aren't being resiprocated I'm just shooting myself in the foot.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emZD1q4ocpI

try the “friend zone to end zone” video here

https://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

Edited May 26, 2022 by Raze

[Leo Gura]

Too late.

It took you 9 months to find your balls?

Well, now you pay the price. And the price is, no pussy for you.

Use the pain of this situation to drill into your thick skull to never behave this way ever again with a girl. Set a sexual frame immediately.

[Alistair Kershaw]

40 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Too late.

It took you 9 months to find your balls?

Well, now you pay the price. And the price is, no pussy for you.

Use the pain of this situation to drill into your thick skull to never behave this way ever again with a girl. Set a sexual frame immediately.

Yeah, that's the harsh truth.

I won't be doing it again that's for sure, but now i've just got to get over this girl. Would I be better off to cut things off with her completely? Being friends would be OK but I feel it'd cause more hurt than it's worth.

[Alistair Kershaw]

2 hours ago, Raze said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emZD1q4ocpI

try the “friend zone to end zone” video here

https://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

Literally watched the Todd V video before posting this thread haha. I'll check out the second link later today. Thanks

Edited May 26, 2022 by Alistair Kershaw

[Hello from Russia]

If you emotionally stimulate her enough, it might do the trick. Just keep raising emotional connection and eventually it can turn into something. A random kiss during the peak can completely change the tables around, but then you d need a good follow up for these

Good frame after turning tables to justify everything - "the best marriages started off as good friends"

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, Alistair Kershaw said:

Would I be better off to cut things off with her completely?

Up to you, but it's a good idea to practice and learn to keep female friends.

[Thought Art]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Up to you, but it's a good idea to practice and learn to keep female friends.

True hmm

[integral]

Salvage it by asking her to match you up on a date with one of her friends. 

[Tudo]

55 minutes ago, Bandman said:

If you keep replying in this tone to your followers the consequences will be dire. Can't you see that what you are doing is wrong? In every post you sound like a high horse asshole. You can't be telling your followers about everything being imaginary and infinite love and still behave in this way, you twisted fuck. Who do you think you are, to shatter peoples realities without at least being loving and caring about it. How can you have reached the deepest awakening on earth but still just be a pus leaking asshole online. You are so fucking obnoxious and nobody dares to tell you because they are afraid of a ban. You deny everyone's spirituality as "being imagined" while constantly whining about your own spiritual ideas. Even though on paper we are allowed to discuss spirituality on this forum, you just reply to every thread which is not about god-realization, that it is bullshit and imaginary. How can you be like this. If someone thinks their spirituality rings truer than your god-realization just let them be and let all ideas be relatively equal on here. Even if for example yoga or advaita is imaginary it does not mean it is not valuable or true.

Nah, I like the way he communicates

[Alistair Kershaw]

2 hours ago, Bandman said:

If you keep replying in this tone to your followers the consequences will be dire. Can't you see that what you are doing is wrong? In every post you sound like a high horse asshole. You can't be telling your followers about everything being imaginary and infinite love and still behave in this way, you twisted fuck. Who do you think you are, to shatter peoples realities without at least being loving and caring about it. How can you have reached the deepest awakening on earth but still just be a pus leaking asshole online. You are so fucking obnoxious and nobody dares to tell you because they are afraid of a ban. You deny everyone's spirituality as "being imagined" while constantly whining about your own spiritual ideas. Even though on paper we are allowed to discuss spirituality on this forum, you just reply to every thread which is not about god-realization, that it is bullshit and imaginary. How can you be like this. If someone thinks their spirituality rings truer than your god-realization just let them be and let all ideas be relatively equal on here. Even if for example yoga or advaita is imaginary it does not mean it is not valuable or true.

I appreciate the consideration for being loving and caring in respect of someones feelings but there's a time and place for that. What Leo said is true and in this context if you were to water it down to avoid hurting my feelings it'd be less helpful and the advice may not land and the same mistakes would be repeated. The words may hurt but they're meant to, at least it gives me something to work off of so dumb shit like this doesn't happen again.

Forums like this are for people to post problems they're having and to learn and grow from the discussion. Not to have your feelings pandered to. I'd PAY for someone to give me unfiltered advice like that. If people keep treating you like a bitch, you'll keep acting like one. 

[Arcangelo]

On 5/25/2022 at 5:57 PM, Alistair Kershaw said:

girl that works at the gym I go to

Girls don't shit where they eat bro. Unless you can't help yourself don't hit on girls that are working. It's the their job to be nice to you.

She was never your friend...

She was doing her job...

On 5/25/2022 at 5:57 PM, Alistair Kershaw said:

9 months now

LOL!

On 5/25/2022 at 6:33 PM, Tudo said:

Are you still a teenager?

My thoughts exactly.

@Alistair Kershaw Man I hope you are 18 tops.

[something_else]

On 27/05/2022 at 2:35 AM, Bandman said:

If you keep replying in this tone to your followers the consequences will be dire. Can't you see that what you are doing is wrong? In every post you sound like a high horse asshole. You can't be telling your followers about everything being imaginary and infinite love and still behave in this way, you twisted fuck. Who do you think you are, to shatter peoples realities without at least being loving and caring about it. How can you have reached the deepest awakening on earth but still just be a pus leaking asshole online. You are so fucking obnoxious and nobody dares to tell you because they are afraid of a ban. You deny everyone's spirituality as "being imagined" while constantly whining about your own spiritual ideas. Even though on paper we are allowed to discuss spirituality on this forum, you just reply to every thread which is not about god-realization, that it is bullshit and imaginary. How can you be like this. If someone thinks their spirituality rings truer than your god-realization just let them be and let all ideas be relatively equal on here. Even if for example yoga or advaita is imaginary it does not mean it is not valuable or true.

Jesus fucking christ lol

[integral]

Youve been friendzoned, that is the chess position your in. Make the best move in the position. There are pros and cons to being friendzoned. For one, your her FRIEND! Talk to her like a friend not a lover. Then get into the circle of her friend group. 

[Tudo]

38 minutes ago, integral said:

Youve been friendzoned, that is the chess position your in. Make the best move in the position. There are pros and cons to being friendzoned. For one, your her FRIEND! Talk to her like a friend not a lover. Then get into the circle of her friend group. 

 

Bro, if girl likes you, it's going to be easy, no need to "  Then get into the circle of her friend group. " And this is extremely manipulative and creepy too.

"Talk to her like a friend not a lover"

Wtf, the girl already sees you just like a friend and you want to reinforce it?

 

Clueless guys out. I pity the women that have to deal with this kind of men.