I feel burned

[Preety_India]

I feel deeply burned.

I'm finding difficulty in articulating this. But I'm trying to get the idea across. 

Lately I'm coming to some terrible conclusions and I don't wish to be sexist at all. I don't put much thought into what I do and I often act naive. I'm a feeling kind of a person and I usually operate from emotions. 

I can't give a proper context for whatever happened in the past one year because it would be too personal to share on a forum. 

So I have been coming to terrible conclusions on my relationships with men both in the personal/romantic as well as general context. 

And this conclusion (might appear sexist but this is my personal experience) is that for a woman it's not a good idea to ever cross a man whether it be relationship or in general. Not all men are going to mistreat you. But a lot of men (depends on the man you're dealing with), are going to give you(the woman) a very tough time for crossing him/them. And I was blissfully unaware of this until I got fully burned after I rejected a guy last year and had a fight with him because I was upset by his behavior. But at my workplace, he gave me a very hard time and completely trashed my reputation in return, I paid the price for months for that, to the point I begged him to leave me alone and I was forced to give him an apology and he still wouldn't budge. So I apologized to him multiple times and tried to make peace with him to the cost of my own personal worth and dignity, I had to swallow my pride as a woman and surrender to his sexual aggression where he would use this opportunity to say vile sexual things to me and I put up with so that he won't be angry with me anymore. I think he pressured me an awful lot and I didn't have sex with him but this angered him so much. 

I have learned a thing or two from my personal experiences. My biggest mistake in that situation was that I crossed him on his work standards and I did not do it out of malice. I just did it casually because I genuinely felt he could do better and that he was misunderstanding certain people at work so I took him to task and confronted him on his behavior and told him to improve. This massively triggered his ego (which I was unaware of at the time ) and he came to me rather aggressively and threatened that he would make me quit. He then maligned my name by inventing some nonsense and would send me late night sexual texts to test my reserve. 

I felt completely weak after that because I suffered a shit ton since he had good relations with the boss and I was suspended for a month on false claims made by him and then my reputation suffered permanent damage. 

I learned the lesson to never cross a man (as I had naively done at the time) and that men come aggressively and give a hard time to a woman emotionally/sexually/mentally, of course they can't hit her (they would land in jail if they got physical with her), and I think a lot of men inherently feel guilty for hitting a woman (other men feel guilty too and jump into white knight mode especially if the woman is helpless physically or unable to defend), and so these Hyper aggressive men  (not all men are this way so by no means am I generalizing, it's mostly the patriarchal types who have a certain level of ego/machismo) use mental /sexual/emotional ways to control the woman who has crossed them and try their best to burn her to the ground. 

That experience has made me awfully weak inside and somewhat terrified of men and left me with the realization that If I crossed a man again he would burn me down and the only one who will suffer is me and so I have to be careful and not trigger a man even unintentionally because his wrath against me would be difficult to deal with and the consequences would be bad. 

Just trying to vent and share and gaining perspective on reality. Trying to figure out this mental game with men. 

Sorry for venting, nothing personal. 

 

[Raze]

Did you try reporting him for sexual harassment?

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Raze said:

Did you try reporting him for sexual harassment?

I was suspended before I could do it. 

[michaelcycle00]

Most men won’t go this far, but yes, there’s a good amount of fragile ego pieces of shit like this dude. If I was a woman I’d also avoid most men. 
 

Your best bet is learning how to read a person before you interact with them. I’m lucky to have been born being really good at this. It’s like I literally foreshadow incidents in my life.