can women literally smell confidence?

[patricknotstar]

Every time I've felt good about myself and confident like being validated by a previous girl it would have a compounding effect in that more girls would notice me. I swear has anyone experienced this? For example when I feel unconfident and not attractive no girl will approach me, no indicators or interest, random girls starting conversations and flirting but as soon as something happens and I "feel like the shit" it's like random women can just smell it. It's the strangest thing because I don't feel as though my body language is changing much or my tone but somehow they just sense it.  

[SamC]

Yeah for sure. It's called building state.

[Leo Gura]

You don't need to smell, you can see insecurity.

[Kksd74628]

@BenG

Self-confidence actually can be faked, because when you act like you don't care about anything, you will sooner or later really stick to that mode. Confidence really is that you don't care about being confidence. You can't per se "learn" to act cool, because what being cool is that you don't care if others see you as cool anymore. Understanding solipsism and that you are inside lucid dream makes you absolute confident, because you play here with just lucid characters.

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, BenG said:

Pretty much. You can’t fake it.

I mean, they can’t literally smell it, lol. It’s just a matter of being socially attuned. Women are typically better than men in that regard.

Yeah women have natural intuition in general, although because of western society's emphasis on logic many of the western modern woman's intuition isn't as developed.

[patricknotstar]

7 hours ago, Preety_India said:

It's Masculinity that they smell. 

 

I disagree tbh, I know some complete pussys who still attract a lot of girls because they are aloof and confident but that confidence wouldn't translate to a fist fight or confrontation with another man. It's more so they're confident in there abundance with women and thus are unreactive and cocky. Masculinity I would say goes deeper than being a cocky fuck boy. 

[Roy]

You have to realize most women aren't that confident themselves, they aren't really encouraged to be and are usually culturally conditioned to be timid and feminine. So you don't necessarily have to be oozing yourself to a James Bond degree, just have enough or more than them and they'll see that.

It's only the "hottest/highest quality" women who will shit test you and be very keen, to be able to "smell" confidence like you said. They have to get good at this because they need to sort through the tons of guys hounding them.

[thisintegrated]

They're not bees

[puporing]

It's more nuanced, it's very easy for "confidence" to turn into narcissism or being emotionally shut off, and that's not very attractive or great for connecting... a balance of the ability to be vulnerable and having a good amount of self-assurance is so much more appealing in my book. 

[somegirl]

On 5/20/2022 at 9:21 AM, patricknotstar said:

Every time I've felt good about myself and confident like being validated by a previous girl it would have a compounding effect in that more girls would notice me. I swear has anyone experienced this? For example when I feel unconfident and not attractive no girl will approach me, no indicators or interest, random girls starting conversations and flirting but as soon as something happens and I "feel like the shit" it's like random women can just smell it. It's the strangest thing because I don't feel as though my body language is changing much or my tone but somehow they just sense it.  

EVERYTHING comes from within. 
How you feel, you radiate, it's true.
You may not notice that your body language has changed, but it does change subtly, but also, your aura and energy changes. People pick up on that.
Happened to me 2545641 times, so I can confirm this is so true.  

[JonasVE12]

If her consciousness is anchored into her body, and she hasn't tightened and disowned certain parts of her body because of trauma, then she is open to receive emotions with clarity from the environment. Feeling is a form of energetic expression and the expression of your own feeling isn't confined within the boundaries of your physical body. Consciousness flows without boundaries. Humans subconsciously pickup energy from the environment because the nature of consciousness is interconnection. Your subtle body which is the internal energetic field is connected to your physical body, and within the physical body their is DNA and all that stuff which directs how your physical body reacts to the energy input from the environment. A human who radiates masculine energy will speak directly to that wiring of the female body.

You know, emotions express from parts of the body. The more your consciousness expresses itself through the parts of your body that correspond to the masculine essence, the more a woman will be attracted. How energy interacts with each other is because of the structure of the physical. And with human connection, that's all evolution that lead to those patterns.

When you get approval, you connect to parts in your body that you previously repressed out of fear and shame. And so when she gives you approval, you temporary express from those parts of the body. You temporary transcend your shame and fear and you feel powerful. That sense of powerfulness is just this temporary aliveness within the parts of your body. Your consciousness flows without obstructions through those internal centers. 

And then with that temporary feeling embodiment, you walk through the street and you look people in the eye confidently, you open your heart, you unapologetically penetrate them with sexual energy, you feel grounded, solid and just powerful. Woman don't know you. They have no previous connection with you. They only now see your powerful aura. And then when your consciousness disconnects from those parts of the body, then you shrink into your baseline bubble and she won't be attracted to.

The thing is that you can have a powerful aura all the time if you learn to expand your internal energy field to include those feeling states you experienced.

[Optimized Life]

On 21/05/2022 at 6:14 PM, JonasVE12 said:

That sense of powerfulness is just this temporary aliveness within the parts of your body. Your consciousness flows without obstructions through those internal centres.

1. I can 100% intuit what you are saying from some past experiences. Long Tangent (Past Experience of this energy) : There was one time where (after a long dry spell) I was travelling and I had 2 dates at the same time (They weren't actually that attractive & now would be below my standards, but crucially I just felt like a player at the time) . I was riding along this E scooter on a hot day, and my body language & aura just felt like a man of value ... As I was riding, this genuinely hot girl (like 2X hotter than the girls I was dating) was walking opposite (some distance away on the pavement) ... and I noticed her looked over me at least 3 or 4 times, except it wasn't a normal look, hard to put into words, but a combination of intense intrigue, sexual attraction ... It was like I I had this giant magnetic field around my body or "energy body" ... Unfortunately I didn't have the genuine confidence, mindset, boldness or approach habit so I didn't approach and kept riding. I think due to this I lost that state as I started to realize I missed an oppurtunity & pussied out. 

Quote

The thing is that you can have a powerful aura all the time if you learn to expand your internal energy field to include those feeling states you experienced.

2. How can this be achieved ... Especially around "scary hot" women, or people who seem higher value, are smarter more successful ect.. 

I'm assuming there's no quick fix, probably a mix of solutions right? 

3. Also, How do you constantly maintain this energy after harsh or constant rejections, some bad interactions or a horrible night out?

@JonasVE12

Edited May 30, 2022 by Optimized Life

[StarStruck]

It is an emotional signature that everybody can sense. Women are more in tune with emotions so it really sticks out for them. 

[JonasVE12]

 

@Optimized Life Nice that you had that experience. Now you know that it’s all about your energy, and how you are feeling inside, that determines wether women are attracted to you or not. So that’s really nice.

Yes, you can have that ‘magnetic field’ or ‘aura’ at all times. It is not easy work and indeed not one thing you do.

I regularly do the following just because I like to play around with energy and feeling, and seeing how it reflects back in the world. You may find this useful to experiment with.

First, I walk around with a closed heart. I pull up my energy into my head (which automatically happens when you are nervous and anxious), and then I make eye contact with everyone that passes. I say ‘Hi’ from that place as well. And what I notice is that they look away, they shrink, they are shocked by my presence.

Then, second, I get into my body, I relax, I open my heart, I ground myself, I embody the feeling centers in the back of the body to create containment and security, and after I connected to the back of my body (my containment), I open the front of my body (feeling), primarily at the heart. This allows me to be touched by other people emotionally, I let them in and I connect to them from a heart-centered space. I consciously bring up joy and love in the heart as well and let them feel that. Now almost everyone connects to my eyes. They start smiling, lighting up and even approaching me. Even people across the street start looking. Because I’m radiating love super powerfully in the environment and people get pulled into that.

Then third, I drop into the lower body and stomach. I feel 20% love in the heart, but I’m mostly bringing up energy in the pelvis and the inside of the upper legs (thighs) and the stomach. And now I’m walking from the connection to the lower body. I bring up a lot of intensity there and it charges me up. It gives me a super powerful penetrative presence. It is not sexual per se. It is more turn on / creating / penetrative energy. But it can be expressed sexually. And now when I come across women and men, they can’t almost not look. They just feel that energy. And I express it unapologetically through my gaze. I project that intensity into them. But I stay in my own body, connected to my grounding. And I am slightly doing it from heart-centeredness as well. It is balanced, grounded but very penetrative.

I’d say, the most important thing here is that you become fully free and one with your external environment. Instead of operating from self-contracted consciousness, your consciousness should be expanded into more non-dual consciousness. Meaning that you literally feel one with everyone. There is no fear, shame and limiting sensations that contract you and hinder your full expression.

You need to get to a point where you can exchange energy and feeling with other people without a sense of separation preventing you to be fully expansive. Your body needs to become super light, yet very grounded.

You need to become super present in your own body for this. The mind needs to be stilled. You can best experiment with Kriya yoga, or other types of yoga that work with your energy-body. I also recommend concentration meditation, as well as do nothing meditation, as well as osho dynamic meditation. Daily. Eventually, your mind and body will become anchored into the now. Your increased presence will become the gateway to increased feeling and feeling-connection to other people.

https://open.spotify.com/track/7A5hC3tPAwJM6S0ztlCzLw?si=5e1703dc28984f3a

Do some walks in your city with music like this. Surrender into the body and become one with the music. Let it really touch you. Look at everything around you, the people, the scenery and let the music guide you to feel more of the essence of it all. 

I also recommend a simple practice where you can experiment with some of these principles. Daily, put aside 2 hours where you will go outside into a semi busy street to say ‘Hi!’ to everyone that passes. Put 70% of focus on your own body, and let your consciousness flow from those internal centers. Express from them. Express from the heart, the stomach, the pelvis. You will get different reactions depending from where you express. If you have a lot of apathy, anxiety, nervousness, fear, shame, and all of that, then you will probably express from the head. And people will pull away. They will reject you. If you are pushing on people from lust, anger and pride, then the world will push back on you.

For example, back when I had this super strong lust to get to freedom, I went outside to give people high-fives. I was pushing on people from lust/anger. I HAD to become fucking free, And I fucking HAD to give everyone high-fives. And then one guy who had a lot of anger himself wanted to fight me because he thought I was provoking him. It was our anger that connected.

Now in this exercise, you can learn to ground all of that rejection and become non-attached to how people perceive you. And there is a lot of liberation in that. You simply stop caring and become one. And then when you shift to non-attachment when doing the ‘Hi!’ Exercise, you will feel that shift in your body. Your feeling centers turn on and you start to express from there. And then people start to say hi back. They smile, light up and they want to talk to you. If you can do this exercise daily for a month, you’ll grow leaps and bounds. You’ll become non-attached not only when saying hi, but in every other way that involves expressing your emotions in front of other people and to other people.

You become grounded in your self-love and self-validation. This enables you to transmit feeling out of authentic inspiration. You don’t look for permission and validation to be who you are.  And the more you become grounded in this non attachment, the more people will become pulled into you. It will change everything.

It really heals your energy body because you don’t need the permission of the outside world for your consciousness to express fully. Your become fully expansive with your energy. Your aura/magnetic field/bubble includes the whole universe. There is no bubble anymore. You just surrender those boundaries you had. You flow without boundaries and man, that’s where you will truly feel alive and connected with people.

And women will show up naturally when you have this freedom. You don’t need to push and force anything anymore.

You can even practice this ‘Hi’ exercise with women, but instead of saying ‘Hi’, you just approach them, ask them directions and you do it from feeling. You ask it from connection through the heart, pelvis, grounding, stomach and you will notice that their response will reflect your level of embodiment.

When I ask a woman for directions when I feel embodied within my own grounding and turn-on, as well as when I have a completely open heart. They will often lean into me and get curious right from the start, and give these sexual gazes.

And then finally you can do direct approaching with the hottest women and practice becoming non-attached. You just do it so many times, and you make it all about how you feel in front of her, releasing any attachments. Just becoming more and more grounded, more and more feeling. And naturally as you do that enough, you have absolute freedom with them and they show up naturally in your life.

16 hours ago, Optimized Life said:

1. Also, How do you constantly maintain this energy after harsh or constant rejections, some bad interactions or a horrible night out?

Through getting out from self-contracted consciousness and expanding into non-dual consciousness, your sense of peace, joy, openness, confidence and all of that comes from within. Nothing externally will then influence that. You generate all of it from your own body. You can get to the point with this work that when you get rejected, you feel more confident, more alive, more joy, more love. You simply ground it. Rejection is just the self-contracted consciousness needing external permission to feel whole/one. And when it doesn’t get it, it will become more contracted. When you get beyond that, your relation to ‘rejection’ completely shifts.

Imagine if you could walk down the street and could just bring up bliss and ecstasy in your body just through your intention. Imagine if you would be able to walk being turned on and open naturally. Not needing anything to feel that way. Just being that naturally. You would enjoy rejection just as much as validation. You would sit inside the club, be present in your body, feel the music and even if you wouldn’t talk to anyone that night, you would still feel amazing. And when you can feel that way all by yourself, women will come up to you all the time.

Or if you would be sitting on a bench at the beach, and you just feel joy and love in your heart, as well as feeling this grounded peace. You look at the people that pass by, you nod, smile, maybe say hi, and your inviting presence will cause these reactions in those people where they will often just talk to you because your energy makes them curious. There is just no rejection when you are this peaceful and joyful by yourself. You just need to bring that same level of feeling and non-attachment to approaching, meeting and connecting with women. And that is a process. You surrender all those negative feelings and stories, and eventually you become free from all of it.

Now your ‘energetic field’ or ‘aura’ is just the consequence of your own effortless feeling and expression of that feeling. You don’t need any external thing to turn that feeling on within yourself. You simply are feeling and energy. 

[Pav]

@JonasVE12 Wow, thanks for sharing this. I have found this to be true in my experience, the way people respond to me seems to be nearly entirely determined by my own level of energy, the difference is so stark it almost as if experiencing a different reality. When I'm in low vibration energy (ie. anxious, angery, needy, insecure, competitive, ect.) people seem to be repulsed by me and will, for instance, avoid eye contact and not respond with all that much positivity in social interactions. While when I'm a higher state of consciousness (ie. love, joy, peace, collaborative, connected, creative, free/uninhibited, authentic, ect.) people seem to be inherently drawn towards me. I often won't even need to be the one to initiate a conversation, people will say hi to me as I walk past and it becomes very natural and effortless to socialise with all those around me, as if I can feel our underlying connectedness like there's no barriers between us. Attracting women becomes the default, it seems that most women will suddenly light up and have a huge smile just from making eye contact.

The problem I'm currently grappling with is that when I do drop down into low vibration energy it can be quite difficult to raise out of it, since the illusion feels so real when you're in it even (if you consciously know that it is false since it becomes difficult to truly remember what it was like to be in a state of love and joy). It appears that low vibration energy blinds you and prevents you from being conscious of how you control your own mind. For instance, when in low vibration energy it may literally feel like the world is against you and impeding you from getting what you want, you don't see that it is you who is creating these beliefs and making the world appear like a hostile place or that you are choosing to feel the negative emotion; all these cognitive process are unconscious. While in a higher state of consciousness you are aware of all these processes and you can simply choose to let go of a negative belief or emotion in an instant and it becomes so easy to consciously use your mind as you've demonstrated here and do things like 'consciously bring up joy and love in the heart'.

Do you have any advice on how to raise your level of energy, particularly when you seem to be stuck in the mist of a pain-body attack?

[Razard86]

The answer... is yes. That was an easy question. But it goes deeper, they don't just smell you, they can FEEL you. Women are naturally more spiritually connected in general than men. Its like their body was designed to be that way. Its why they are more naturally intuitive. It is very helpful for women when they can tap into that part of themselves as intuition is divine communication. 

[JonasVE12]

@Pav

You are super close man.

You’re never stuck. It feels like you are stuck. But you are always moving. Your heart is always beating. Your breath continues even when you are unaware of it. Nothing stays stuck. It is just one state of consciousness that repeats itself until you intervene. The stuckness is just perspective and it is guiding you to become more courageous and more allowing of your own emotions. Some people stay stuck for decades. Most stay stuck for their entire life. Most don’t even realize they are stuck. But you can move out of stuckness in just 5 minutes if you surrender. You can now consciously transmute some of that apathy into courage and then even beyond that, into love. But then, is your goal to get past stuckness for good? To be in love/joy permanently? What is the goal? Where do you want to feel more love/joy? What area of your life isn’t allowing you to feel joy/love permanently? For example, you can now transmute into love and feel joy. But all your patterns / attachments won’t be released through transmuting only once. There needs to be done goal-setting where you apply these transmutation principles in the face of tension. That’s where you will move past more macro-level stuckness (through goal setting). You can feel stuck in many ways, you know. For example macro, is the distance between the now experience and the ideal experience you have in your imagination. The key to move past that level is to learn to transmute feeling stuckness now. If you can learn to transmute that stuckness now, you will easily move past stuckness automatically with bigger goals. If you are a virgin and your goal is to fuck 1000 women but you don’t know how to seduce a woman. That’s stuckness. His stuckness is there for as long as he hasn’t fucked 1000 women. Yet, he will move rapidly towards having that goal if he learns to, in this present moment, transmute his feeling/vibrational state to higher vibration that results in the now experience of having confidence and freedom. Maybe he flirts with one woman and she gives him positive attention. That’s already moving some of that stuckness into momentum. So the key is to move some of your lower emotions into higher emotions. A little bit at a time. I’ll explain later.

From what it looks like, you have an inner conflict where you are avoiding feeling your lower emotions (the lower vibration you talked about) and therefore you are using lust/anger/pride as a way to get the higher experience/feeling you want. But it’s only a push on the present moment, it’s your misalignment and attachment to future. Your mind is completely projected into the future as a way to avoid your lower feelings, but still with the intention to achieve your goal. Therefore it uses the mind. Because the body has the resistance which you avoid by escaping to the mind. It’s the mind compensating. You are pushing out of your lower emotions with force, using the mind.

You have to ask yourself the following when you feel stuck. Where are you not becoming vulnerable and being allowing/welcoming to those lower vibration sensations? Where are you unconsciously closing doors? There are so many doors you can open that will transmute you to freedom. Yet, you have to become proactive with your resistance. And when you are in apathy/avoidance/stuckness, you will be hiding yourself from those doors. You need to gain the courage to open the door and to walk through it. And then the next door. And the next. Until there are no doors anymore. The closed doors represent the experiences that confront you with the resistance you’re not willing to become vulnerable to and therefore avoiding.

The stuckness is just the strong lust/want with the apathy (resistance to feeling the lower feelings). When you are within it, it seems like a huge obstacle. It’s like a mountain you see in front of you and you feel incapable of climbing it. Even more so, you feel like you have to climb it. You think that when you get on top of the mountain, you will find a pot of gold. While the gold is just behind the doors. You just have to open the door. Open some of your doors in your own house. It’s not difficult. Its your mind/body which make it seem so difficult.

If you surrender to how you are feeling, and you work on transmuting that shame/fear through stepping into low amounts of tension (opening doors), you will slowly feel lighter. That anchoring into love, peace, courage, authenticity, freedom, is a process of stepping into tension and transmuting the lower feelings inside the tension, into higher feelings. A little bit at a time. A little each day. You welcome lighter feelings slowly. And that’s where you are releasing the attachment to your lower emotions. You do that until all attachment are released and you are free.

The thing is, you can never get to love/freedom/joy if you don’t learn to allow your lower vibrations and to feel them fully in the face of tension. You don’t release lower vibrations through just letting them go like that. Poof. You channel them. You channel them into courage and acceptance. Energy doesn’t go away. It moves. It contracts or expands into different states. You need to direct it consciously. Fear -> courage, Shame -> acceptance. 

We like to think that we can become free at home, through thinking and wanting. But it’s only when we step outside and confront those stories directly through tension that we become free. We just have to become proactive with the lower feelings. Not reactive. If you are reactive, you are going to escape to the mind, and use anger, lust, pride in order to still get your goal, but without feeling your lower emotions.

Let’s say you want complete freedom with people all the time. No boundaries. No anxiety, insecurity, nervousness and shame. What we often try to get out of that is that we start feeling the want for more confidence, freedom and all of that, and after we recognize that desire, then we will start trying to find a way to have that what we desire.

But we feel the fear and shame, and we become reactive to it. Now we start to resist the fear and shame, and we shift into apathy/stuckness/avoidance. Then anger/lust/pride is the mind inside that apathy that is desperately wanting to move the experience into being, yet has no clarity and power. It’s super reactive and avoidant.

When you can recognize in that moment, in the moment that you are stuck, that you need to work on welcoming courage/acceptance/love in small amounts, in relation to stepping into low amounts of tension, that you will slowly move out of stuckness by yourself. But it requires daily work. Only then your subconscious has the power to completely shift. Consistency is key. And you become proactive, comfortable and completely vulnerable with your emotions. It will feel super raw, naked and vulnerable. Learn to love that because in loving that, all the freedom is.

So I have a challenge for you to work on this. Only do it if you can do it from courage. If you are pushing through this challenge, that’s something to let go as well. Pushing is avoiding vulnerability. Courage is decision and allowing. When you shift from anger to courage to step into tension, it feels more like you are surfing and riding the wave. Anger/pride/lust is like the surfer desperately trying to catch the wave and then always missing it. He’ll end up frustrated and quits. So see if you can become relaxed with this challenge. A little bit of push in the beginning is fine. As long as you can let that go during the challenge.

For 3 months: Daily - Approach 15 men/women/groups and ask them directions.

For 1 month: Daily - Say Hi to every stranger you pass in a semi-busy street, not skipping anyone. Be fully expressive.

Next months: Keep stepping into tension daily. Increase the amount of tension progressively. Until you are fully free and anchored into the higher emotions. 

During these exercises, you can learn to transmute those lower emotions into love experientially. That's the key because you don't learn this stuff in your head. It's all experiential work.

When you are feeling love, it is easy to do these exercises. But it is when feeling fear/shame and then doing the exercise, being proactive with your feelings, welcoming more courage, acceptance, love that you will become conscious of how this process works. You will get an intuition for it and it become second nature.

Then you get a point you can easily shift your emotions in minutes/seconds. Until you don’t even have negative emotions anymore. That’s imperturbability.

Definitely meditate as well because it makes it all so much more effortless. 

[JosephKnecht]

@JonasVE12 Great insights. Thanks for sharing.