Dating as a feminine guy

[Chives99]

I can't pretend to be something or someone I'm not, I don't have masculine interests or a masculine personality, I'm not camp but, definitely more in touch with my feelings and heightened sensitivity this also goes along with my ASD, I thought the best option for me would be to find an austistic girl because its only been on rare occasions when a neurotypical girl has been drawn to me and they had autistic boyfriends previously so they probably preferred someone who was a bit quieter. I recognise I don't fit the typical heterosexual dating dynamics which makes me not bother with pickup as I don't really resonate with them. I find I have more luck just becoming friends with a girl then gently flirting with them if they show any interest. Does anyone here have experiences with alternate heterosexual dating dynamics?

[SamC]

Integrate your femininity so much that your femininity turns into masculinity.

[SamC]

You don't need to be or pretend to be anything. " just be yourself" and go for what you want to. Unfold your own myth.

[Vrubel]

@Chives99  Do you have a masculine strength to you?

For example, if you're interacting with a girl it should be energetically clear that you're the "strong" man and she is the "weak" women. Or are you energetically on the same level just like a gay friend would be?

 

Also how social are you?

If you're highly social and a lot around girls, it shouldn't be a problem. 


 

[Bob Seeker]

My best friend in college was a feminine guy. He honestly just really was himself, more than most people and was comfortable. He just built really good bonds with people, some of them women, and sometimes the emotional connection would turn into a dating opportunity.

he also used a dating app and was explicitly looking for a date and he got a girl from that.

[Danioover9000]

   Why not give Nofap a go? Assuming you watch and fap to porn daily, or often to the point of it being a compulsive disorder, in that case it's making you too feminine and maybe effeminate. Stop pleasuring yourself too much, withhold yourself from masturbating temporarily, and you'll get in touch with that masculine side of you that's willing to fuck and penetrate the world, not just your object of attraction, in this case it's women. You'll have extra confidence to approach women and take actions in general. You'll have extra energy and creativity as well ti put into some fitness and martial arts, can help develop masculinity.

   This is assuming you watch and fap to porn. If it's light, like you fap once ecervy other day or a week, sometimes not to porn, abstaining would give you lesser benefits, but the boost in energy and confidence and mental clarity is noticeable even here. Try it out.

[Vrubel]

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

I literaly have been officially diagnosed with aspergher syndrome, and probably have like one or 2 undiagnosed mental disorders on top of that, I'm introverted and generally a quiet guy, and I'm still trying my best doing pick up - daygame etc. (I'm not dedicating a blocks of time to do it anymore, though - I've discovered that it's kind of weird to do that. You're supposed to approach as you're going about your daily activities, that's the proper way to not be a weirdo. For example, primary goal is to go to the gym, but you saw a hot girl along the way - so you instantly approach).

So, it's very likely that these are just bullshit excuses. But of course, there are other ways - you can try online apps, social circle etc. But don't expect miracles, especially since you're autistic, it's gonna be hard to mantain social circle. And you'll fail at dating apps too since you don't have a proper strategy.

Feel you bro, I don't have your mental disorders but I am also an introverted and generally a quiet guy. I hate to admit but the social unacceptability of day game is a real bitch for me. Even though it's hugely in your head and most approaches end up okay. There is just a lot of anxiety, self-doubting and mental struggle involved in day game.
Ironically the best way to mitigate that is to go out with the set goal of approaching women and to get in a good state where approaching feels like a very natural thing to do. But also go home when you notice that girls aren't that receptive to you on a particular day, this can happen. For example when you have done multiple approaches and you notice it isn't even possible to have a normal few-minute conversation with a girl. That is a sign that you should go home. You had a bad day, these can happen just as much good days can happen too. 

Spontaneous approaches are much harder due to high anxiety levels and lack of momentum. 

Also, don't approach for the sake of approaching. But approach and Commit, even when the girl's initial reaction is not good, just feel up the vibe for 10 seconds more and wish her a good day. Always be nonchalant and have a certain "social dignity" to you. This will also help you with the mental struggle aspect. 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuJ-B-NGeYc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzoTjIN_mEk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzsFVNm36xE

 

[Vrubel]

 

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Ofc right now, I'm doing both dating apps and real life cold approaches, but it is apparent to me that I am more likely to close cold approach leads than Tinder leads - just for the fact that I have balls to do the approach, but others dudes don't. That simple. I'm still too shy to set up dates though, but I'm slowly advancing to that point. Right now, I'm working on developing that killer instinct, and approaching despite excuses.

Sounds good man but make sure to prioritize your mental health. Just having balls and approaching with poor social calibration will make you feel like a crazy person. But then again having some scrambled eggs at the beginning is nothing to worry about, they are just great learning opportunities. Going out consistently and not giving up is definitely the number one factor for success.

Also, check out on youtube the necessary texting sequences for getting the girls on dates via text. Ideally, you have already started planning in the live interaction with her. It's nothing to be shy about(;

 

 

[Razard86]

One of the biggest myths...is that there are mental disorders....there maybe people who have issues with cognitive functions due to damage or genetic issues....but there are no mental disorders. All quote on quote mental disorders are due to imbalance, a lack of balance of being able to control thoughts and emotions, and a misidentification of who or what you are. Western Culture creates mental illness, and many of these issues can be resolved through meditation and Eastern practices that revolve around reconstructing the toxic beliefs you have been given since birth and connecting inward. 

Also one other thing...you are not a feminine guy, you may be more feminine leaning but you have both masculine and feminine qualities. If you call yourself a feminine guy....you will be denying or limiting aspects of you that is masculine. The purpose of life is to grow in Self-Love. This means to accept all parts of yourself. Many of us think our personality is us, it isn't it is merely the patterns you have picked up based on what you have been exposed to. You actually are very masculine, you are equal in both. If you so desire you can choose to explore the masculine aspects of yourself and choose to accept them.

Because of what we have been exposed to, we can become judgmental or prejudice of aspects of the feminine and masculine and think ourselves to be leaning towards either one but the truth is we are actually equally both. There is beauty is each and part of your life journey is being able to see the beauty and power of each aspect.

[The0Self]

7 hours ago, SamC said:

Integrate your femininity so much that your femininity turns into masculinity.

^^

@Chives99

Pretty much, yeah. 

[Danioover9000]

   Have any of you felt horniness before?

[Vrubel]

3 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

To be honest though, I am also insecure about my ability to handle a date, and my living situation (living with parents, not necessarilly a lot of money at my disposal, etc.) Just something I'll have to deal with.

The only way to learn is to build experience. (Young) girls don't give a shit about your money, they can't look into your bank account anyway. I also knew a lot of cool guys with girls who lived with their parents. That's mostly a logistical issue, but young people living with parents is just a fact of life these days and people hook up all the time regardless. 

There is something pure about girls in that they prioritize you as a person over your possessions and bank account. Like I have an apartment but girls don't give a shit about that, only after they really like me they will rationalize this as a bonus.

In my personal experience, my first date ever was successful by pure fluke. But then after, I bombed a few times until I learned from my mistakes and improved my ability to conduct dates. In the beginning, dates will be rare so don't miss up on these learning opportunities.