Trying progressive overload with approaching

[Bob Seeker]

I’m starting from scratch. 1 approach per day, and only when I can do that consistently I will add another approach and so on, until I max out for reasonable approaches.

I’ll have different counts going for daygame and night game, try to get more approaches on weekends. Starting number is 3 Thursday-Saturday.

My biggest fear right now is if a girl actually hooks and then I am stuck because I can’t handle the intimacy.

also, if I approach a group and then her friends are staring at me and It’s just more judge mental eyes.
 

I like how that’s written “judge-mental”, cuz they’re only judging me in my own mind. But philosophy can’t save me here lol.

Edited May 18, 2022 by Bob Seeker

[michaelcycle00]

Best of luck fam.

 

2 hours ago, Bob Seeker said:

My biggest fear right now is if a girl actually hooks and then I am stuck because I can’t handle the intimacy.

Just go with the flow, get out of your head.

 

2 hours ago, Bob Seeker said:

also, if I approach a group and then her friends are staring at me and It’s just more judge mental eyes.

My anxiety kicks in in situations like this as well but deep down I don't give a flying fuck about what they think about me. I know I'm a great dude. Though if she's in a group with a bunch of dudes I just assume she's been ran through or that if anyone in that group has a thing for her the interaction will just end in a confrontation so I pass. If a girl has over 2 male friends (preferably 1 or none at all) then it's an immediate no-go for me. Idk about you though.

Edited May 18, 2022 by michaelcycle00

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrAemuW6AN4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k4nHm10aMQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCeDPkUB98c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUj6gN0o4wU

do not do 1 approach a day, that is the hardest way to learn, and do not just do progressive desensitization, you should have some sort of practice like trauma release to handle your anxiety and emotions when they come up. It is faster and more permanent.

[Bob Seeker]

46 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

If a girl has over 2 male friends

That takes some serial killer level nuts to approach.

don’t think I’ve ever done that.

for a newbie there are so many factors at play with group approaches it’s like being put on a sales call to sell a product without having received any training. 
 

chances of success basically zero

 

[Bob Seeker]

50 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

she's in a group with a bunch of dudes I just assume she's been run through

I wouldn’t assume that

[Bob Seeker]

52 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

if anyone in that group has a thing for her the interaction will just end in a confrontation

If she’s hot they all are prob posessive unless they already have a chick or are more feminine 

[Bob Seeker]

@Raze I will build up to a good amount t per day. Only starting with 1

i agree about the trauma part. Do u have a simple in the moment practice you use?

[michaelcycle00]

1 hour ago, Bob Seeker said:

That takes some serial killer level nuts to approach.

don’t think I’ve ever done that.

for a newbie there are so many factors at play with group approaches it’s like being put on a sales call to sell a product without having received any training. 
 

chances of success basically zero

Haha, I meant after getting to know her, if she has 2 or more male friends I wouldn't pursue a relationship with her. Preferably to have 0 though, just to be sure. But yeah if she's with 2 dudes I wouldn't approach. For the same reasons I mentioned.

 

1 hour ago, Bob Seeker said:

I wouldn’t assume that

Well, you're probably too naive then. Unless it's some emo or masculine-looking girl, you should pretty much count on it.

 

1 hour ago, Bob Seeker said:

If she’s hot they all are prob posessive unless they already have a chick or are more feminine 

Yeah exactly.

 

Btw, you can quote multiple times in the same reply. You don't have to open multiple entries for every single thing you want to quote and respond to.

 

[something_else]

2 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Haha, I meant after getting to know her, if she has 2 or more male friends I wouldn't pursue a relationship with her. Preferably to have 0 though

Most attractive girls have a thriving social life and at least a few male friends so you’ve revealed your lack of experience a tad here

Don’t be a controlling dickhead, trust your GF

Quote

also, if I approach a group and then her friends are staring at me and It’s just more judge mental eyes.

I find that with groups, it’s actually almost easier than solo girls after you start talking to them

There’s often way less tension to deal with, because they’ll often carry the convo a bit more for you

But yea, initially approaching a group of girls is harder

Then again I’ve never approached a group of girls during the day, it’s always been at clubs. I have no idea if that logic transfers to during the day

[Kshantivadin]

Maybe better to stack habits, ie when you get prompted (being outside and see girl you like) you approach. This is how you make it your natural reaction (of course, it assumes you already go outside on a consistent basis). If this doesn't work, then think of deliberate going outside to approach.

The trick to making it stick is to make it as easy for yourself as possible. Then you "add more weight". Best of luck

[Kshantivadin]

13 hours ago, Bob Seeker said:

My biggest fear right now is if a girl actually hooks and then I am stuck because I can’t handle the intimacy.

Doesn't matter, you already won by approaching. Rejoice!

Soon you will "increase your work capacity" (speaking in fitness terms ) by being able to handle intimacy as well. For now, we think of the opener. Every opening is a win and is to be celebrated like Rocky on top of the staircase.

[michaelcycle00]

9 hours ago, something_else said:

Most attractive girls have a thriving social life and at least a few male friends

Right.

 

9 hours ago, something_else said:

so you’ve revealed your lack of experience a tad here

Interesting, I don’t remember saying that wasn’t the case, so you’ve revealed your lack of reading comprehension a tad here. 
 

9 hours ago, something_else said:

Don’t be a controlling dickhead, trust your GF

I’d have to date a very introverted girl to trust her like that. Your average extroverted girl, even if she’s a good person, is very likely to be swayed by another dude and her fall for it. It’s just in her nature. It’s not even “not trusting her” as much as putting a deer in front of a Tiger and expecting him not to eat it is being distrustful of the Tiger. 

[something_else]

19 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

I’d have to date a very introverted girl to trust her like that. Your average extroverted girl, even if she’s a good person, is very likely to be swayed by another dude and her fall for it. It’s just in her nature. It’s not even “not trusting her” as much as putting a deer in front of a Tiger and expecting him not to eat it is being distrustful of the Tiger

Every GF I’ve had has been loyal to a fault

Girls tend to be more loyal than guys, especially if you build yourself into a great guy

Your mindset should more be “I’m amazing, so of course my GF loves me. If she cheats on me she’s throwing away a prize, her loss” and then you go find another GF if she cheats on you

In reality the more controlling you are and the more worrying about her cheating you do, the more likely she is to actually cheat

Wanting an introverted GF purely because you’re scared of her cheating comes across as insecure, I would not say that’s a healthy mindset

Edited May 18, 2022 by something_else