I Felt Like I Just Had An Ego Death, Please Help Me If You Have Had This Feeling Before !!!

[PureExp]

5 minutes ago, Neo said:

Good point. I'm not "my" awareness, I am awareness.

I agree. When I am experiencing pure awareness, there is no "I" there. However there is this connection, as if whatever that is called I is identical to this awareness. The words, I, me, my, mine are slapped on by the mind later on to convey that connection. Perhaps its a language thing, there is no better way to express it.

[kuwaynej]

@PureExp@Neo @Barna @Visionary @Principium Nexus

I also believe it is a language thing, I feel like everyone is talking about the same thing but our Ego's and the obvious language barriers make it difficult for us to fully 100% agree with each other. This is what I am seeing everyone saying in a nutshell  : " This is awareness/enlightenment,  I maybe wrong  but I really don't think I am." But if you have experience it you will know for a fact what it is, I am not even going to give it a name you will just know what it is, no amount of reasoning can express how you truly feel, because you will still feel unsatisfied after you made your post. 

I hope everyone keep sharing their experience and remain open minded because this well be the best form of motivation for myself and many others

[Barna]

I can motivate you towards only one thing: try 5meo. 

You can meditate and have your little insights here and there, but I don't think that anyone can have a full Infinity moment with meditation in reasonable time.

[kuwaynej]

@Barna

I know mediation alone can carry you only so far, I actually want to try a psychedelic drug on Leo's list but because I live in Jamaica it's not easy to get them, so I am playing the waiting/patience game for now.

[Barna]

I can help anybody with this from (almost) any part of the world, just send me a private message.  

[jse]

37 minutes ago, kuwaynej said:

I actually want to try a psychedelic drug on Leo's list but because I live in Jamaica it's not easy to get them

You are in the perfect place for shrooms.

[cetus]

@kuwaynej

47 minutes ago, kuwaynej said:

I live in Jamaica it's not easy to get them, so I am playing the waiting/patience game for now.

Are you kidding me mon? You live in a garden.

I recently vacationed in Negril.. a big party spot in Jamaica consisting of a 7 mile strip of beach. It is a beutiful place, and a great setting for a great trip. I dont think a bad trip could exist in such a pristene environment so anyblaze.... I decide to get some shrooms from a trusted local. In jamaica, they RUN up to you with goodies for CHEAP, anything you want. Just so you get an idea of how cheap, an ounce of sticky kind bud is about $10-15 depending on how much time you spend bargaining. So I told the guy, get me 20 US worth of the best shrooms. He ventured towards the Mountains to pick my little babies fresh. These shrooms were quite large, about 1-4 inches around, tinted blue stem, and the size of the bag was the kind that 12 oz. beers come in. It was filled to the brim. I would say the bag weighed a few ounces, but i didnt care HAHAH I ate them immediately, as this was my FINAL night in jamaica mon. It took forever to eat this obsurd amount of shrooms. I didnt eat them with anything, just straight down the hatch. I ate so many of these little bastards, not only did i lose count, i was FULL. Having many trips under my belt, I was not at all worried. For some reason I have a high tolerance to the psychoactives within shrooms. So my trip: The first effects cam immediately after we smoked a spliff, i remember it hitting me very suddenly- everything was dancing- there was no turning back now. The curtains on the windows were breathing, my laptop is looking BUG- windows 2000 looked like windows 95 and Im -good- with computers... for some reason the start menu was old school, and embossed on the screen. I cant explain most of this with ordinary words but anyways at About T+30 min i am t-ballz (my nickname on shrooms) i remember taking a walk down to the beach, at this point things are talking to me, me vision is my sound, my sound is my vision, my sixth sense (the one u get when you know someone is near you, is now my touch - LITERALLY... so after who knows how long, I end up knee deep in the water gazing up into the stars. One can only imagine what or who i was talking too. I never thought the world could look so fuckin cool. The stars didnt do enough for me though so I moved on. I remember seeing my friend, who was on E, which I dont do, and he asked if I wanted to watch the grammie awards with Eminem, so we went back to the hotel room. If anyone else saw this shit tripping PLEASE tell me if you thought the same thing. Eminem had some sort of mystery frequency in his voice. I swear to god, it was like a high pitched lisp. After that, my memory started really going. I went out to sit on the porch in a hammock style swinging chair, I was handling myself quite nicely considering the dosage... i just wish i could tape record what i was seeing, ya know, because i'll never satisfy myself in any trip report!! THY SHROOM GODS LUV THIS. The visuals were really intense- everwhere i looked there was something new to fuck with my brain... cats wandering.. reggae music in the distance, it was so ill. I wish i could remember more- but i can guarantee that I have to be on the top 10 list for "most shrooms ingested". Shrooms are the best.. thanx for reading my ramble. Next time your in jamaica... eat some, trust me :0

[kuwaynej]

@cetus56

I did not know that you can get magic mushrooms in Jamaica. I will start asking around, thank you and i will keep you in the loop.

[cetus]

@kuwaynej Look around under your feet and you never know what you may discover. All joking aside, find someone who knows what they are doing when it comes to picking them. Proper identification is key.

[Martin123]

@kuwaynej I think exactly this happened to me after doing one of Peter Ralston's exercises in the book of not knowing. I was driving a bus from Prague to my home city laughing at the paradox that I have the arrogance to think of myself that I exist. And I felt such a bliss throughout the whole thing. And then it vanished. 
Damn that was fun!

[pluto]

I experience this from time to time with cannabis or when practicing meditation often. Although Ego death is quite different.

Ego death is when you lose all sense of self, reality ect.. and become pure awareness. This is more likely accessed through higher level psychedelics or natural DMT release.

[kuwaynej]

@pluto

Thank you, that was insightful . I would like to know which psychedelic  you have experiment with and which you think  it is the best

[pluto]

8 hours ago, kuwaynej said:

@pluto

Thank you, that was insightful . I would like to know which psychedelic  you have experiment with and which you think  it is the best

I have experience with the main ones. There is really no best, all have their role in this play we call life. Cannabis and MDMA are a good start and good for re-connecting with yourself and allowing yourself to see the simplicity in life and allowing you see and understand things from a new perspective which is usually why when you take them all worries and fears go away unless you abuse of course. They are also good for  communication with close friends, music festivals, art and dance and son on.. then as you get used to the feeling of psychedelics you can possibly aim to test out Mushrooms and or LSD to feel the deeper side of psychedelica as i would say and if you think you are ready and want a full blown experience where you can lose all sense of self and travel through dimensions(as some would say) or ultimately experience pure consciousness/ego death then DMT is where its at.

With the others at normal doses you can still be conscious and enjoy the offerings, pleasantness and divinity of life and nature, music, art ect.. but with DMT even at low doses you can't really stay awake and walk around, Its more for meditation and higher doses to complete dissolve physical reality and enter the quantum and experience the true nature of your existence directly. They say 5-Meo is even more direct, but probably start of with normal N'N-DMT first.

I'm having trouble expressing my words at the moment, i will probably touch up on it later or another time but hope this information helps you and others with experience can possibly chime in to further aid in your question.

In short

Cannabis for a glimpse of how psychedelics can feel, MDMA for a more energetic yet more deeper and aware feeling and loving/connective feeling.

MDMA + Cannabis to really get a feeling of what psychedelics can do.

Mushrooms or LSD to have a full psychedelic experience.

DMT for when you become a master of surrendering to an experience and letting go

Meditation and Self Actualization practices will help flow much easier with these as the more natural DMT you release, the easier your body/mind understands whats happening. The smoother the ride.

[Neo]

@Barna 

Quote

I can motivate you towards only one thing: try 5meo. 

I don't know if you meant to say that, but it's a little sad that the "only" thing you can promote is 5Meo.

What those on drugs seem to fail to realise is that some people are on a path of "mastering" this, and taking 5Meo just seems like a cop out. And that's why I find it so sad that you say it's the "only" thing.  Actually it's pretty sad how the whole of this thread went.

Edited February 3, 2017 by Neo

[pluto]

25 minutes ago, Neo said:

@Barna 

I don't know if you meant to say that, but it's a little sad that the "only" thing you can promote is 5Meo.

What those on drugs seem to fail to realise is that some people are on a path of "mastering" this, and taking 5Meo just seems like a cop out. And that's why I find it so sad that you say it's the "only" thing.  Actually it's pretty sad how the whole of this thread went.

Yeah its like skipping the whole journey, i would leave 5-meo for the end when the time truly feels right it will present itself too you.

[Barna]

:)) You are cute with your determination, and taking your path so seriously.  

Yes, 5meo is a shortcut to realizations.  But who said that you have to take the long way?  And it's not like it's a shortcut to death. I'm still alive, but now my life is full of realizations, and the rest of my life is still ahead of me, but I think it will be more beautiful with these experiences and realizations.  

You are identifying yourself with someone who makes it the hard and righteous way. This is exactly what what the ego does. The ego is nothing else than identification. You see it now, don't you?  

The only reason I'm promoting 5meo is because I have never heard about anybody, ANYBODY, who hasn't been deeply touched by this experience, doesn't matter for how long he has been doing meditation practices.