Everything is imaginary - I am scared

[caspex]

I can see I am in a dream. But the fact that there is no source behind it, that this is an infinity made of nothing but itself, is scaring the shit out of me. Imagine falling in a Mandelbrot fractal the terror you feel. It's like that. 

I know the solution, it's to dissolve the self so it doesn't feel like it's inside this infinity, but rather infinity itself. But first, this recognition of the dream is highly unstable, even more is the recognition of self as the dream. Therefore usually the self comes back inside the infinity and it(I) gets terrified.

What are some pointers to deepen the recognition of the dream? (Can't use psychedelics)

 

Another thing I feel like sharing is that I am on the verge of making the recognition of the dream my baseline, but I keep pushing myself back because of my current lifestyle. Half of my life will fall apart if I make that my baseline. I am scared of the consequences.

[Omni]

2 hours ago, Swarnim said:

 

Another thing I feel like sharing is that I am on the verge of making the recognition of the dream my baseline, but I keep pushing myself back because of my current lifestyle. Half of my life will fall apart if I make that my baseline. I am scared of the consequences.

you ask for pointers how to go deeper and in the same post imply that you’re not willing to make the leap. Gonna have to decide on one, sacrifices and stuff.

Focus on your senses, feel into your body and allow it to take over your experience, your thoughts will come, let them. Feel into them as they come in. After youve began spotting the tension and the chaotic thoughts, your heart automatically beating, your breathe.. immediately step back and detach from all of it and watch it all happen by itself, as if you’re just watching a movie.

[SeaMonster]

Have someone smack you and tell you to snap out of it.  And maybe to go do your homework or chores if you're not in school.  

[vladorion]

It seems like you're trying to jump to some advanced stages of Realization without going through the first stages and laying the foundation.

You need to awaken your self first before you can sacrifice it.

[Leo Gura]

Infinity is a beautiful thing. Don't forget to enjoy the beauty.

[Kshantivadin]

I think it's the usual consequence of realising this particular aspect of reality, at least it's what happened to me - awe and fear. Love and relief too, but a lot of fear. If you're practicing meditation, check out the vipashyana jñanas - there is a stage of insight called the Bhaya-ñana (knowledge of fear) and the next couple of stages can be quite miserable. Judging from your post I think you're somewhere around there. Don't give up the practice. Fear is an excellent fuel to practice courage and fearlessness.

Feel free to PM me whenever.

Edited May 17, 2022 by Kshantivadin

[amanen]

Awakening to this fact experientially is not a thing that should make one scared, but immensely relieved since there is nothing to worry about (since none of it matters anyways). 

It seems you are more likely holding a belief about realitys unreality, not actually experiencing it to be unreal. It would be a beautiful experience otherwise.

[Kshantivadin]

@amanen Are you sure? For me it came with the realisation that I'm not going to die, which means there is no escape. It can be pretty claustrophobic, as OP described. Plus the sheer rawness of Being.

[amanen]

56 minutes ago, Kshantivadin said:

@amanen Are you sure? For me it came with the realisation that I'm not going to die, which means there is no escape. It can be pretty claustrophobic, as OP described. Plus the sheer rawness of Being.

Reality is love and bliss. There is no need to escape from love and bliss.

[Breakingthewall]

realizing that you are the limitless void without form is frightening because it is perceived as total death. realizing that you are the unlimited void that is everything fills you with glory because it is perceived as total life. the reality is that you are, and the current you that asks it is just a thought. The more tenuous the self, the more understanding, joy and detachment there will be . and backwards.