Why telling lies feels so wrong??

[marinaaniram]

from the big picture there is no difference between telling lies and telling truth so why everytime i have to say some bullshit i feel so ashamed

the society made it so? with their moral principals that we have been fed since childhood or is telling lies actually WRONG?

[ZzzleepingBear]

It may depend on what the reason for lying is. Telling white lies may be a preferable option if you know that the person you speaking with, can't comprehend or accept truths that you hold. In other words, it would be exhausting to go around and confront people based on telling them exactly how you see things.

Another way to avoid lying, is to see if you can respond in a way that is true in a relative sense. An example could be if someone who casualy asks you "How does this dress look on me" even though you may hate the dress, you can always find some aspect of it that you do like. So you could say, "It fit's you, and I like the blue colour of it" knowing that it is the right size so it fit's well, and you may actually like the blue colour it has. All while disliking the overall design of the dress.

There is many ways to communicate in a guilt free, and semi-true way, and even more oppertunities to speak more directly when you want to do that as well.

 

 

[Carl-Richard]

4 hours ago, marinaaniram said:

from the big picture there is no difference between telling lies and telling truth

This is false. Lying has an ultimate significance from the bigger picture. It's the denial of reality. It creates conflict within your psyche (neurosis), and it corrupts your sensemaking faculties. It's probably one of the unhealthiest things you can do.

The time in my life when I lied the most, my life was collapsing both internally and externally. The amount of stress I was experiencing started snowballing out of control, and I was on the verge of insanity. If there is one ultimate advice for self-development, it's "do not lie".

The reason lying feels so wrong is because your higher self (your conscience, your inner ancestral voice, God) is telling you that this behavior is in some way antithetical to your survival.

Even if it is beneficial in the short term, you have a feeling deep down that this is unsustainable, and that's true. The best thing to do after you have lied, if not to tell the truth, is to do whatever in your power to not let it happen again.

[Batman]

It feels wrong because deep down you know that lying can only serve an illusion, something that is not the truth.

Lying, or any other communication that misrepresents what is true for you, is wrong on an existential level because it conceptually disconnects you from the whole that you are already a part of. Absolute Truth is no separation while willful misrepresentation is based on separation. When you truly communicate to an other what is true for you, you are connecting. 

On a personal level, you lose your integrity. You will have to protect the misrepresentation you created, whether by holding the true from others or trying to reinforce and protect what is not true, probably by creating more misrepresentations. Of course, all of this activities are so much harder than just being honest from the get go. Also, deep down you will always live with some form of feeling that you hide something, or that you are going to get caught, or that you have been dishonest. This will take a toll on you, on many different levels.

And also, if you can lie to others, you will probably lie to your self. If you want to truly become conscious and mature, you must be honest. Lying disconnects you from Consciousness, because it traps you inside the activity of a self or an ego that needs to lie in order to achieve some self-agenda. Even though it seems that misrepresentation may help you to avoid or to get some thing, in the end its not what YOU actually wanted. Only ego can tell lies and be dishonest, and when this is the case, the illusion solidifies. On the other hand, when you are being honest and truthful in opposite direction to your self-agenda and self-survival needs, your connection to Consciousness strengthens and so is your sense of integrity.  

[gettoefl]

who deserves the truth?

are they metaphorically putting a gun to your head, abusing you, terrorizing you, sucking the life from you?

what about those who use the truth i offer as a weapon for my destruction

how about speaking the truth where and only where it is merited?

 

[SeaMonster]

On 5/16/2022 at 10:43 AM, gettoefl said:

who deserves the truth?

are they metaphorically putting a gun to your head, abusing you, terrorizing you, sucking the life from you?

what about those who use the truth i offer as a weapon for my destruction

how about speaking the truth where and only where it is merited?

 

People rarely put a gun to your head forcing you to say anything at all, so a good alternative to lying is not saying anything.

You're not required to answer anyone's questions.

[gettoefl]

20 hours ago, SeaMonster said:

People rarely put a gun to your head forcing you to say anything at all, so a good alternative to lying is not saying anything.

You're not required to answer anyone's questions.

then you haven't met my past my pain my parents

Edited May 18, 2022 by gettoefl

[Ulax]

Personally, I think its a result of life experiences.

I think our non-traumatised self would be accepting and loving of our lying.

However, perhaps, we condemn lying in ourselves because of the adverse effects of being seen as a liar.

I don't think there's anything objectively wrong with lying.

[gettoefl]

48 minutes ago, Ulax said:

Personally, I think its a result of life experiences.

I think our non-traumatised self would be accepting and loving of our lying.

However, perhaps, we condemn lying in ourselves because of the adverse effects of being seen as a liar.

I don't think there's anything objectively wrong with lying.

lying is, i refuse you to have entry into my reality

[Rokazulu]

On 5/16/2022 at 2:41 AM, marinaaniram said:

the society made it so? with their moral principals that we have been fed since childhood or is telling lies actually WRONG?

If you are eating a wheat that makes you feel pain. I can only suggest to not do that.

Edited May 20, 2022 by Rokazulu