Have you even started working on yourself?

[NoSelfSelf]

My point is how can you work on yourself when you actually dont know yourself? You can't!( Here im talking about illusionary self that helps you navigate the world)...

There are so much people that ask for advice that doesn't even apply to them.How do you know which path to take?how to think?how to feel ?how to see the world how to eat etc. If you dont have yourself you will become thinking mind of Leo and wonder why you dont improve...

If you are not completely focused on your own original thinking of creating your own personal world then you cant improve!

You personal world for example how you gonna think about this topic how you gonna behave in this situation?

Crazy part is you wont get right experiences to move you to your own personal improvement!!

You gonna talk to that girl in the way you think she will like it instead creating your own way to talk to her and then you can get experience to upgrade your way of communicating if you dont have your way you will spin around in circles and become bad versions of who you follow ...

It looks simple but check in im sure you will find you dont have yourself you dont know what to do and work on just spinning in circles jumping from one thing to another or its just me ??

 

[Omni]

One thing that seems to be a common factor throughout my experience is dis-identification through constant re-identification. I moved around a lot throughout my childhood after grade school, I’ve come and gone like a nomad and have experienced a lot of goodbyes, some healthy and some toxic farewells - this showed me the commonalities but also the complex differences in people and how so very easy it is to get so obsessive over something that the rest of existence is irrelevant.

It seems you are correct about if one does not know who or what they are working on. But maybe they have to ask all the advice before they know what advice they need. 

I also find true that experiences create better communication, which is why self-help can get super toxic - it avoids the pain of actually having to live the experience, and can witness it vicariously.

[Vincent S]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

My point is how can you work on yourself when you actually don't know yourself?

I know what you mean. I guess the good news is that you can always find something you really really love doing, and work/strive towards it. Once you are doing what you love, you don't have to care if you a special/specific "somebody" doing "something". You become what you Love. Everything in reality is meaningless. It is the meaning you give it. Its a perfect mirror.

IMO, it's about becoming more and more conscious that these smaller finite selves are just vessels to explore and to share/embrace love. We are supposed to find out what the vessels can do to line up with the energy that fuels them. And to embrace that. But its easy to get stuck with the vessel itself, and not what it can do and what it was made for/of.

If we are not living in love, we won't truly find what is at our very core. And of course, you find that it is empty, but Filled with Love. An energy designed to expand, grow, share and to experience.

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You gonna talk to that girl in the way you think she will like it instead creating your own way to talk to her and then you can get experience to upgrade your way of communicating if you don't have your way you will spin around in circles and become bad versions of who you follow ...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that just doubting yourself and the process? Isn't that being out of flow, rather than in flow?

Edited May 15, 2022 by Vincent S

[NoSelfSelf]

@Omni Self help is toxic because it shows you you are not good enough as you are but rather you need all this to be something better than yoursel so you abandon yourself and try to be someone else rather working on your own stuff its how its applied and its applied toxicly...

@Vincent S  Process is to work on inauthentic self to get what you want which will always leave you feeling disconnected and that you are not really improving real process is going deep into your own ways of doing stuff and using self help as a little map to show you stuff but not become that map you become your own map!

[Emrie]

Quit alcohol 6 months ago, started exercising and eating healthy food a month ago. Forgave my family for all the trauma and abuse they gave me during my childhood a year ago, our relationship is much better.

I'd say my social skills have improved decently. But I don't really have any non-work friends (and most of them just wanna keep work at work, meaning not a lot of socialising outside of work). So I'm working on that next. For now just focused on eating healthy and exercise, though.

I know it's all very basic stuff but I was so deep in depression even only 6 years ago, and my childhood was just so awful. So I think I'm doing pretty well.

Also I realized I'm bi before even having had any relationship with anyone, and embracing that aspect of me has just been amazing.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emrie Great job ?? i know how that is ive been there you were like on level -5 and had to work hard to come to normal level 0 and now that you are hear what im trying to say, you know in general that you need to work on social skills but in what way you gonna go about it? in what way you gonna show up to the people in what way you gonna express your sexuality with a girl ?thats where the improvement lies in my opinion not just general improvement its shallow because you will turn into someone elses copy and mehanical being thats not gonna work and stick for long it will be a long hard manipulation and people pleasing...

[Loba]

Yes and no, I don't need to work on myself, I just need to Be.
I think working on one's self is a trap.
I feel just accepting myself, and living in the moment, whatever that may end up meaning to me is the way to go.
I think people get too neurotic about changing themselves, and I have more power, intelligence and wisdom from simply existing in a simple way.
I don't want to be exceptional, I just want to drink coffee, listen to music, smoke a joint and enjoy some sunshine and work on art and that is good enough for me.

Be-ing for me, produces inspiration and power through will.  I don't like to spread it too thin.
So, spiritually - enough, in my life - I can avoid it to focus on spiritual matters.
Doing or trying something new also kind of freaks me out because if I'm not good at it, then it doesn't offer me anything, I want to work on what I am good at and leave the rest for another lifetime.

I look forward, in some instances, to death, so that creation as a process is quicker.  I hope to improve my karma to fix myself... I think death, despite my fears, will do what it can to accept me gracefully.  I already feel, in some ways, halfway there.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Loba Its not changing yourself what im saying its building yourself on top of your own authentic self and potential you got as a birthright...if you are fine with what you have thats okay keep doing that thats the point...

[Danioover9000]

   Well, if this counts, I'm on Nofap and am slowly growing myself. Although I'm actually experimenting on myself and how Nofap effects me and the reported benefits. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Danioover9000 what are you growing yourself into by doing nofap?

[Danioover9000]

@NoSelfSelf

On 5/18/2022 at 3:41 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

@Danioover9000 what are you growing yourself into by doing nofap?

   To help with my procrastination and laziness, gain more energy and to be more creative than normal. Also more health related as my frequent faps is giving me phantom pains, aching throat, brain fog, some erectile disfunction, and for some reason effects my heart and breathing. Also not my first rodeo with NoFap as this is like number 20 in my attempt, 15 of them I lasted a week, 4 of them a month and the one was about 2 months. 

   Also, to feel a deeper sense of pleasure when I inevitably fap. No fap from normal states of consciousness compares.