I'm confused in life

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

I want to take this conversation to a whole new level .

I have a question..why is it Easy to be lazy and settle for mediocrity and indulging in bad habits than it is to build an awesome life for oneself ?

Fundamentally, why is living an amazing life hard and living a lame life easy ?

Have you guys noticed this yet ?

You don't get there by instantly reinventing yourself overnight. One tiny step at the time. It all makes a difference in the long run. Be methodical. Focus on only one problem, make small changes that require barely any effort, then one day, it's solved by itself, and you go to the next problem. This eventually builds up momentum and makes other problems easier.

[Arthogaan]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

I have a question..why is it Easy to be lazy and settle for mediocrity and indulging in bad habits than it is to build an awesome life for oneself ?

Fundamentally, why is living an amazing life hard and living a lame life easy ?

Just to offer some counter perspective:

Living lame life is terrible. It is not easy at all. You are a victim all the time. It is boring and undisciplined and without depth. Just because it does not burn a lot of calories because you lay on couch all the time and just because you just waste your's mind potential on porn it does not mean it is easy. 

And you will do it as long as you don't want to change. You will suffer until the pain of that lazy undisciplined life will break you and you will 100% want to change. You like being lazy. If you wouldn't like it 100% you would change. Change happens in that instant. YOU EITHER CHANGE OR POSTPONE THE CHANGE. There is no in between. Of course there is delay for your body and health to readjust to the new you, but the change always need to happen NOW in your mind. 

More on that concept "you either change or postpone the change" here:

 

[Someone here]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

You don't get there by instantly reinventing yourself overnight. One tiny step at the time. It all makes a difference in the long run. Be methodical. Focus on only o

1 hour ago, Arthogaan said:

Just to offer some counter perspective:

Living lame life is terrible. It is not easy at all. You are a victim all the time. It is boring and undisciplined and without depth. Just because it does not burn a lot of calories because you lay on couch all the time and just because you just waste your's mind potential on porn it does not mean it is easy. 

And you will do it as long as you don't want to change. You will suffer until the pain of that lazy undisciplined life will break you and you will 100% want to change. You like being lazy. If you wouldn't like it 100% you would change. Change happens in that instant. YOU EITHER CHANGE OR POSTPONE THE CHANGE. There is no in between. Of course there is delay for your body and health to readjust to the new you, but the change always need to happen NOW in your mind. 

More on that concept "you either change or postpone the change" here:

 

ne problem, make small changes that require barely any effort, then one day, it's solved by itself, and you go to the next problem. This eventually builds up momentum and makes other problems easier.

 

I guess no matter where we live on this earth, no matter what we do for a living, nor what opportunities are presented or handed to us, the large majority of people find it extremely difficult to succeed in life. Gathering the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical capacities to get ahead and exit this rat race we call life has always been difficult, but will only increase in difficulty as the years press on.

With so many people vying for success, and with so many others trying to convince us that some system is going to solve all of our money problems or afford us with the life of our dreams, it becomes even more complex .

That might be why so many people ask themselves why it’s so hard to succeed in life. Why is it so difficult to push through and achieve our goals and attain all of the things that we secretly desire in our minds? We gaze on at others who’ve reached the proverbial top of the mountain and we wonder how they did it. We ask ourselves, why them and not us? What are we doing so wrong that’s making it so difficult to taste sweet victory in life.

[Someone here]

Just practically speaking..what should i do to clear up all my confusions and know what path should I follow in life? 

[Carl-Richard]

Just now, Someone here said:

Just practically speaking..what should i do to clear up all my confusions and know what path should I follow in life? 

If you have absolutely no idea, then you just have to try out something. You can adjust course later.

[Osaid]

I have also felt lost or confused. Like I am stuck in some state of limbo where everything is the same, and no "real" passion to pursue. I was constantly obsessing over this idea of finding a god-given "life purpose" or talent to pursue, and I was running all these different ideas through this litmus test of whether I enjoyed or liked it. If I thought graphic design was an interesting endeavour, and it felt boring or didn't click for me, I would just say "oh this isn't my purpose".

I had a chat with my brother about this, and he told me that you don't find a passion, you create it. Think about all the things you are currently passionate about. Were you aware of them as your passion since birth? As a kid were you like, "I want to pursue this exact thing". No, a lot of your passions only became your passion when you became really good at them and worked hard at them. You weren't always good at them, and it is possible to have a passion you didn't like at some points in time. Some things you are naturally very good at, and so it is very easy to become passionate about them, some are harder to get good at, and so developing passion there is harder. I'm even just talking about things like being passionate about video games, people get very passionate about certain video games, and yes that is a proper example of passion. Being passionate about a video game is a very specific passion, it's not something you would say is a god-given passion since birth or whatever, but it is indeed a passion. This shows you that passions are created by your interests and skills, and whether you decide to pursue them or not. I'm rambling a bit here, but realizing this has made me slightly less lost. Now I see certain endeavors like creating music or writing books or creating graphic designs as opportunities for creating passion.

Edited May 14, 2022 by Osaid

[Someone here]

Some people are just born gifted special talents .and they are a lucky minority. Most people are born without any special talent .those naturally gifted people find it easy to build a career over what they are talented at.

Still, there are some people out there who seem to have figured it out, so to speak. They have succeeded at the highest level and attained every man and woman’s dreams of being successful beyond measure and beyond belief. So how is it that those people seem to succeed almost effortlessly while the rest of the world is left to wallow in a sea of debt, unable to extricate themselves from the shackles of a 9-to-5 job that has them pinned down with seemingly no place to turn.

Success is tough no matter how you slice it. With so many people vying and competing in what many label as a zero-sum game, achieving any semblance of grand-scale success has become monumentally difficult. And it will only get harder as the years wear on. As the world’s population swells, so does the fiercely-competitive corporate and business environment, making it more and more difficult to succeed.

[Amannl3in]

Read so good they can't ignore you your questions will be solved 

[r0ckyreed]

53 minutes ago, Someone here said:

what should i do to clear up all my confusions and know what path should I follow in life? 

Your asking for a logical answer when the answer is actually emotional. I already stated it before. You need to act upon what lights you up the most. If you are inspired by animals, go volunteer and work with animals. If your desire at this moment is to go camping or see a friend, then go do that. 

When it is your heart it is freedom and when it is your mind it is fear. If the mind is not working with your heart, it is not working for you. Do an experiment where you quiet your mind, listen to your heart, and imagine what desires come into your consciousness.

Edited May 14, 2022 by r0ckyreed

[zurew]

35 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Some people are just born gifted special talents .and they are a lucky minority.

You don't know what special ability or talent you have unless you try to discover it or find it. Also, you have the ability to get really fucking good (not at anything) but at a good number of things. You can basically master a lot of things, if you give it enough time.

35 minutes ago, Someone here said:

So how is it that those people seem to succeed almost effortlessly while the rest of the world is left to wallow in a sea of debt, unable to extricate themselves from the shackles of a 9-to-5 job that has them pinned down with seemingly no place to turn.

Everyone has their own advantages and disadvantages. Everything comes with a cost. Do the best, with what you have got.

You can still do a lot, to find what you would love to be doing. How much time do you contemplate about it every day? How many different kind of jobs and activities do you try every day? How many new experiences you deliberately have every day?

You can "attack" all those 3 above, and as time goes on, you can get closer and closer to your desired career/job/activity. You basically need to get to know yourself deeper, and better. You have to figure out yourself, no one else can know what you deeply want to do.

We can only give you tools, and you can use those to dig with, but you have to do the digging yourself. And of course it will be hard to sit with yourself for hours and contemplate about it, it will be hard to get out of your comfort zone and try a bunch of things out without the guarantee that it will be the one that you will like. But you don't really have any better option, so you might as well use those that you have.

 

Edited May 14, 2022 by zurew

[Gianna]

I suggest you start by following what resonates with you. This can be your compass for what direction to go in. I would also suggest you let go of any attachment to logical reasoning and expectations. You may have a confusing path for a more complex journeying through your life. If you want to know a lot of thing you do a lot of things.

Are your addictions coming from an avoidance of pain or boredom? People want kicks of stimulus (and have addiction in general) in their life when they are emotionally detach (which would lead to a lack of direction) or when they have been neglected or abuse. If you sit with your discomfort and understand where it’s coming from you can know where to go. Meeting your needs will be the new form of direction, while still following what resonates. 

[Loba]

@Gianna That's really good and practical advice, I came here looking for solutions to feeling directionless as well. 

[Gianna]

@Loba Oh that’s great ☺️

[ndm678]

What @Gianna typed. I don't think anyone is going to provide anything jucier.

Enjoy the journey, find what resonates with your higher self. Watch for the clues to pivot.

 

[Arthogaan]

9 hours ago, Someone here said:

I guess no matter where we live on this earth, no matter what we do for a living, nor what opportunities are presented or handed to us, the large majority of people find it extremely difficult to succeed in life. Gathering the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical capacities to get ahead and exit this rat race we call life has always been difficult, but will only increase in difficulty as the years press on.

With so many people vying for success, and with so many others trying to convince us that some system is going to solve all of our money problems or afford us with the life of our dreams, it becomes even more complex .

That might be why so many people ask themselves why it’s so hard to succeed in life.

Do you want to be disciplined or not, dude? Yes or not. That's all. Imagine majority of people does not wipe their ass after taking a shit. And you are lucky and gifted enough to realize that maybe it could be beneficial to wipe your ass and that you want to wipe your ass. How much fucking time will you spend on philosophising and analyzing why other people do not wipe their ass, why is it so easy to not wipe ass, why society is constructed in such a way that most people do not wipe their ass? 

Just fucking write a remainder on your forehode WIPE ASS, LIVE DISCIPLINED and start changing yourself. (That might actually be a cool tattoo idea.) 

and when it comes to what to change:

1. You already have a lot of great ideas and you know what to do with things like porn or junk food. You just need motivation, declaration of will and perseverance.

2. When it comes to other things - what resonates? What @Gianna wrote.


PS. but actually answering the question why so much people are stuck so much, I personally believe 90% of such cases is because of children. When you have kids your ability to move and change decreases. I thought about it for some time and actually unless you have children life is fucking easy. You can move out to any country, you can work at some corporate job to gather some money and travel to India with it, whatever. With kids and family it is much harder. 

[gettoefl]

today i'll do what others won't

so tomorrow i can do what others can't

[Someone here]

8 hours ago, Arthogaan said:

Do you want to be disciplined or not, dude? Yes or not. That's all. Imagine majority of people does not wipe their ass after taking a shit. And you are lucky and gifted enough to realize that maybe it could be beneficial to wipe your ass and that you want to wipe your ass. How much fucking time will you spend on philosophising and analyzing why other people do not wipe their ass, why is it so easy to not wipe ass, why society is constructed in such a way that most people do not wipe their ass? 

Just fucking write a remainder on your forehode WIPE ASS, LIVE DISCIPLINED and start changing yourself. (That might actually be a cool tattoo idea.) 

and when it comes to what to change:

1. You already have a lot of great ideas and you know what to do with things like porn or junk food. You just need motivation, declaration of will and perseverance.

2. When it comes to other things - what resonates? What @Gianna wrote.


PS. but actually answering the question why so much people are stuck so much, I personally believe 90% of such cases is because of children. When you have kids your ability to move and change decreases. I thought about it for some time and actually unless you have children life is fucking easy. You can move out to any country, you can work at some corporate job to gather some money and travel to India with it, whatever. With kids and family it is much harder. 

Yes I already know what to do .but I don't have enough discipline and foresee to stick around till the end .I always procrastinate . For example I decided to work out daily in my house using simple equipments ..but I never started. I always  find a reason to procrastinate. 

Also I'm not much clear what my life purpose is . Like what should I be doing with my life in general. 

I'm confused about my sexual life .is it healthy to watch porn and masturbate or not ?

I'm confused about my career ..what should I do for a living?   To be honest a philosophy degree isn't gonna help me find an easy job .

Where do yoo suggest I should start ?

[r0ckyreed]

33 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Yes I already know what to do .but I don't have enough discipline and foresee to stick around till the end

I asked David Lion about discipline and here is what he said

https://youtu.be/C_p8wo_UV2U

 

34 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I always procrastinate . For example I decided to work out daily in my house using simple equipments ..but I never started. I always  find a reason to procrastinate. 

This may be the problem. 

No wonder you procrastinate so much. Your goals that you set seem to be too strict and unrealistic. It is like your trying to run a marathon when you haven’t even ran a mile or even taken the first step.

Start small. Work out when you get the inspiration to. Be more Blissiplined instead of disciplined. The energy you approach things matter. 

41 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Also I'm not much clear what my life purpose is . Like what should I be doing with my life in general. 

What excites and inspires you the most in life right now? Do that. 

45 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I'm confused about my sexual life .is it healthy to watch porn and masturbate or not ?

It depends on what it does for you. How does that help and serve you? Does it excite and inspire you to be more of who you are or is it an escape from something? Notice how you feel. Notice the impact it has on your life long term and your beliefs. 

58 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Where do yoo suggest I should start ?

Where do you think you should start? 

Start with what inspires you and excites you the most. Nobody can tell you what that is. You have to feel inwards. No amount of logic will help you decipher what you feel most alive about.

[r0ckyreed]

Best Productivity Hack For Spiritual Entrepreneurs by David Lion 

https://youtu.be/HDxmILIExeY

Edited May 15, 2022 by r0ckyreed

[Someone here]

9 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

What excites and inspires you the most in life right now? Do that. 

I like making music and streaming YouTube videos (I'm not gonna share my YouTube channel here)., but I have few views and I can’t build a career around that. Also like I said I study philosophy and to be honest thats not gonna make a good career and earn me a good chunk of money . Maybe I need to find a job ASAP while I'm finishing my philosophy degree .

12 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

It depends on what it does for you. How does that help and serve you? Does it excite and inspire you to be more of who you are or is it an escape from something? Notice how you feel. Notice the impact it has on your life long term and your beliefs. 

  

It completely make me lose motivation. I feel guilty when  i do it .it reduces my energy and overall make me depressed and unproductive. I think I should stop completely.