Building the Ultimate Infrastructure

[Ayham]

Today is the day i start a journal, the reason for this is that i feel i might fall off track. 

before i start, some notes:

• i will be journaling daily before bed. 
• i am trying to follow leo's video since I'm 15 (advice for high-school and college students) , I've been doing so for 6 months now, not fully tho.
• first i will get all my thoughts, emotions, ideas out.
• Then i will review each thing i am doing which are : Meditation 1 hour, Studying in school for knowledge (the only one i am struggling to do) , Reading a book a month, Healthy diet, finding life purpose and anything in the video.  
• i won't be dating and exploring my options since it's taboo here, in college it's kinda normal so will wait till college. 
• some additional things that I won't always do, just on holidays or occasionally : Kriya yoga, Programming, Weight lifting. 
• it's final exams currently so school year is ending and our summer holiday is 4 months here in Iraq (since we don't have holidays during the school year) 
• also @Leo Gura, i haven't bought the life purpose course but i found it for free on the internet, i am from a third world country, and my family is not in the best financial conditions, hope you can understand, tho i will definitely buy it whenever i can, i only finished the strengths assessment and I've gained massive value. 
• finally @Leo Gura what do you mean by not doing social groups? like avoiding groups to not get affected by group think? because that's what I've been doing, i quit friend groups i was in, it was tough but i am introverted so i feel at peace now lol, and i also realized how shallow it was. 

so here is the final format:

[Talking about my day and getting things out] 

Life Purpose: 

Studying:

Diet:

Reading: 

Meditation: 

 

 

will do my first entry when finals end (after 1.5 weeks). 

 

Edited May 14, 2022 by Ayham

[Ayham]

well here i am, i said i Wil start in 1.5 weeks but exams were delayed for a couple of days because of sandstorms, and holiday began yesterday, i went and bought some books, since i finished the art of war. 

the books i got are

1. the big leap (excited for this one, it has lots of exercises and i like that) 

2. the four agreements (font is weird but ok) 

3. strengthfinder 2.0 (i bought it because it said "includes the assessment", and then i Googled a little and its supposed to contain a packet that has an access code, but mine doesn't unfortunately so that's sad) 

4. deep work (this is the one i started, i finished the introduction and the first chapter, i like it a lot since it tackles a problem i have which is procrastination and shallow work, well only in school, but still it would be helpful wheh learning programming) 

5. indistractable (basically about how to tame the internet and phone to your advantage) 

6. linchpin (well i saw it in the life purpose list, but it seems to be about business) 

and today, well i woke up late, at 10:40, but i very much enjoyed it today.

though a couple of hours ago around 8 pm my friend insisted to play a multi-player game (terraria) and we have been playing till 10:45.

well it was fun, but afterwards i feel like dizzy and lost all the meditation awareness, and it kinda took away my sense of inspiration too.

well i know i shouldn't completely abstain from video-games, just limit them, but how much is too much?, this was like 3 hours, which is a good amount i think, maybe i should've taken breaks, well i don't know. 

Life purpose

well i did the role model exercise today, i chose @Leo Gura, Marcus aurelius and Leonardo da vinci, i watched a documentary about Leonardo and i was so inspired, i felt like this is how i wanted my life to be, full of inventing, knowledge about everything, and understanding, i also answered the questions about him, tomorrow i will do the other two. 

i also felt very guilty, like i am wasting my time away, like how can i be like Leonardo davinci if i am not pushing myself to the edge.

Diet

well, my mother tried to tell me how i am supposed to have cheat days and how wheat is healthy and you can cut the rest of the stuff and i told her that i am not forcing myself into good food and wheat takes a lot of energy to digest while it has no nutritional value, and this energy can be used to other stuff, well she wasn't convinced. 

 

Reading 

i read like almost a whole chapter of deep work, it is amazing, and i want to implement it to the life purpose course and meditation and programming and other stuff, but it's still in the the beginning, still don't know the how to. 

Meditation

my meditation is stuck at 35 minutes for like 1.5 months now! i can barley get to it, i mostly give up before the bell rings. 

also i started meditation since the end of December 2021, i first started watching thoughts then stuck to "see hear feel" technique, i got some cool results, like vivid colors, aware of thoughts as not mine, some insights, becoming unreactive (happened only once), a sense of awe, extremely hot hands (i dunno why, researched it and found out that you shouldn't think significantly of this and let it distract you), tingling and shaking in hands.

well the last 2 months, it's like all of them went away except the colors part, this makes me think i am doing it wrong, 1 month ago i made the first 10 minutes concentration, then 20, it seemed to have slowed my progress, so i will do it like leo says, which is start with 2 minutes and increase slowly. 

I think the key to get better is to practice deliberately, so i need to (1) concentrate on increasing skill and (2) get immediate feedback when doing it wrong. 

well i can do the first one by setting an intention before meditation to develop my skill and the second one, maybe i will write in my notes app a review of my practice and copy paste it here at night, as a sort of feedback to myself, maybe just noticing that i am distracted during meditation is feedback. 

 

that's it for today! 

 

[Ayham]

ok yesterday i forgot to journal lol

so today was ok, i spent a lot if time gaming but i didn't ignore anything else, i ate healthy, read, meditated, did life purpose video and yeah. 

the thing is, i have have stopped gaming since like 7 months (it was involuntarily, i just got bored and was fascinated by this work), and now when its holiday its sucing me back in, too much time can be a curse, but its ok in moderation, tho i have a thing where i overindulge in whatever i do, whether it's healthy or unhealthy. 

doesn't matter tho, i will not let something as simple as this stop me! i will set a time for gaming, three hours, i shall not go beyond it, i promise, and will update tomorrow 

also i want to finish the "finding your life purpose" segment of the course, so i can start programming. 

and tomorrow or after it i will receive money so i will go to gym. 

Life Purpose 

i did  zone of genius exercise, it was amazing but very hard, and my zone of genius is... to understand the world at a deep and holistic level, this is very true to me, my wish since i was a child was to know everything, and i feel like this is similar to leo's one, but i think this may be why i liked Actualized.org from the beginning. 

it was always there but i never noticed it as my zone of genius, though i am having doubts, i feel like I've done the exercise wrongly, maybe will redo it tomorrow. 

Diet

all clean

Reading 

i read around 10 pages today, maybe 15, wanted to do more but ok, the book talked about all the stuf in the modern world making deep work rare and hard to do. 

Meditation

i am so stuck, i stopped at 25 minutes, couldn't get more time, i really want to increase my time, also i am plateauing, i am not going anywhere, results stopped like 1 or 1.5 months ago. 

But i have an idea, i will meditate like everyday, 2 minutes concentration practice then mindfulness then if i fail, i will do nothing as a strong determination sitting. 

great! 

 

[Ayham]

so lol i ended up gaming for 5 hours, but the good thing is that i started at 8 pm, and did all my things before it, so i guess cool, i won't set time, but, i will make sure i do everything before it. 

Life Purpose: im in the making impact statement + zone op genius, its hard im having conflict between different things, i chose my zone of genius as "growing understanding life deeply and holistically", it feels very authentic, but i have lots of doubts, and my impact statement is where i was unsure between "create a stage yellow academy" or "lecture as a stage Yellow professor" or "make people reach the highest level of wisdom and growth", i chose the last one, i guess the stage Yellow thing could be the ideal medium. 

Diet

clean

Reading 

i read about 15 pages, very nice, the book is gonna start on the practical stuff, excited for impairmenting it. 

Meditation

today i was super motivated, like really, so i sat down and was very focused during my session, very focused, and continued for a very long time, i was like yeah its definitely almost 35 minutes i will check times, and it turns out  to be at 25 minutes! it felt like 40 minutes have passed, so yes

 

[Ayham]

ok, so today was really great, i woke up late, but meditation was so good that it had an effect the whole day and i also signed up at the gym, will start going tomorrow, and i will set gaming time after gym, and i do all my stuff before gym, so i guarantee that everything will be done. 

 

Life purpose 

so i did the "bringing it all together" and "the me sheet", it was great, but LOTS of doubts, i keep second guessing myself, so my life purpose statement (understanding the world deeply and holistically to make people wise and developed) creates an emotional response in me, but its not that big, also i don't think the course went through how to find your ideal medium, so i wrote two mediums which are seminars and books, i just put them on a whim, and as the domain of mastery, i put "changing the way people think" i could also put "lecturing", idk this is really hard work, and i am doubting if my purpose is the right one.

 

@Husseinisdoingfine@itachi uchiha@Leo Gura@Michael569

How am i supposed to deal with doubts regarding life purpose? i guess just go with something and see if it works? i just needing some guidance lol. 

Diet

clean

Reading 

well the book talked about why deep work is meaningful taking example of someone who lives passionately doing deep work, also the book presented neurological, psychological and philosophical arguments for depth, its dope. 

meditation 

so, rather than struggling like everyday to hit 35 minutes and falling, i did something else, i lowered time back to where i was few months ago (25 minutes), so the quality increased, and effects of meditation were obvious the whole day, i think i will increase a minute a day, then continue at 30 for a week, then also increase a minute a day until 35, but these days i have to make sure that i don't check the timer, or give up even if  only 10 seconds are left for the timer. 

 

 

[Ayham]

i woke up frustrated because late, but it was ok today. 

Life Purpose 

well i am doubting if everything i came to is wrong, i will revise the whole process tomorrow then create a vision and a vision board. 

Diet 

clean.

Gym 

first day, it was tough because first day is always tough, though i had lunch two hours before gym and I ate a lot so my stomach killed me, i came back to take a cold shower but water is hot since it's affected by weather. 

Reading 

finally started the "how to" part of the book. 

meditation 

since i woke up late, I decided to do it after gym, but my stomach was hurting so i couldn't do et effectively. 

[Gesundheit2]

@Ayham Hi! And kudos for you for doing this work seriously.

Regarding finding your life purpose and related doubts, I would suggest that the process might be longer than anticipated and that there is no rush. When you find your purpose, you will feel it so there will be no doubts. That's not to say there's only one purpose out there for you/everyone, nor that it can't change or evolve over time. But that some level of general clarity about yourself is required for you to discover your purpose, and other parts of yourself. Meditation does certainly help with that, and I would suggest that instead of doing a formal practice or a chore that you have to go through everyday, that instead you try to be curious about the source of thoughts. When you sit to meditate, if you notice that thoughts keep popping up, try to get in touch with their source. Be curious about what they mean, and why these specific thoughts are appearing out of infinitely more others. Hint: you will find many answers about your authentic self this way if you do it properly.

Good luck, and keep us updated. I am enjoying reading your journal and interested to see how your journey will unfold.

[Ayham]

@Gesundheit2Heyy, thank you for your very motivating answer!  the thing you said about meditation, i will try that, it seemed that my practice have become mechanical, i also remember my best results came when i started noting in daily life, not just in sitting. (i use shinzen's see hear feel technique). and yes i have time about life purpose which is great.

today i canceled my gym membership because i will be going to the north of Iraq ( it's still the same country, but the northern part is really developed, or at least more) for 5 days from 6/10 to 6/15, i know it's early now but since my membership is new they accepted to cancel it, if i waited im pretty sure they would've refused. 

and finally, i used the technique from "awareness alone is curative" and from using it a lot, i decided to stop playing this video game! my life before it was really much happier and filled with meaning, and  the more i play, the more it starts to take over my time.

now there's a problem lol, in the game im playing, me and my friend made a server, and we're playing for the first time so we're like progressing together, and yeah idk how to tell my friend i don't want to play anymore, but i can't let something as simple stop me, so i will do something about it, gradually. 

i will keep using curative awareness method for now. 

 

Life purpose 

well lol, i didn't do anything today, my body hurt all day because of first day at the gym, but i thought about it a lot through out the day, there's an element missing in my statement, i can't put my hands on it exactly, but it's there. 

so besides wisdom and understanding, i have a thing for planning and architecturing, not necessarily in the academic sense, but the element of architecturing and planning, in everything i always want to plan and find out the best way to do it, architecturing methods, etc. 

i know the way i cite it is weird, but its there, not sure how it fits into this. 

Diet

lol my mom told me when we go to the north i should be free about my eating and i refused, used joking tone so it became a funny thing. 

Reading

since i didn't do the course, i read much more, the book talked about philosophies of deep work and i think the bimodial one fits me. 

Meditation 

so when summer came, i switched my meditation from ground to chair since i was scared of maybe a cockroach getting on me during meditation and ground without carpet is uncomfortable, so i will switch to couch and do sidhassana posture again. 

And today my meditation was 27 minutes, i failed to hit it again lol, and the quality was bad too. 

i think i am experiencing backlash, two months ago i could easily do 35 minutes with high quality meditation, the mindfulness would last the whole day. 

i also wanna do deliberate practice, idk how ti apply it, it seems there's lots of theory about it with little "how to". 

but tomorrow i will do what @Gesundheit2 said. 

 

 

[Ayham]

Well, well, well. 

i would say today was interesting, it was very hot, 47 Celsius and air conditioning is not always activated since, well it's iraq. 

anyway, my gaming was less than 2 hours today, the only reason i did it was because of my friend.

also this friend (and actually all my friends) don't like the things I'm doing, they probably think im being hard on myself and not enjoying life, but to me this is much more meaningful and enjoyable.

they also think im stupid since even though they think i am Muslim, i don't hate shia Muslims, and i don't consider sunni Islam the ultimate truth, and because i am not hateful towards israel (i think they're treating Palestinians wrong but they're still human and normal people, it's just that their government is bad like most governments) 

one of my friends likes personal development stuff, but doesn't do practice, just theory from videos, which is cool, i tried to push him a couple of times but i guess it's not the time, he's also very stage blue. 

in fact the main reason i disconnected from my friends is that they're very stage blue Muslims. 

Life purpose 

well i revisited my values, leo said to do a quarterly review of values so like every three months, and i completely forgot about it this month but anyways i did it and i see some change in my values, the top ones are the same, the last 3 or 4 changed. 

and i thought a lot about domain of mastery today, maybe personal development is a good one, but i want something more holistic, the whole point of my life purpose statement is holistic understanding. 

Diet 

well i ate ice cream because it was deadly hot, felt weird afterwards. 

Reading 

well, more of the same, i actually find the rhythmic philosophy of deep work much more applicable to me, and maybe journalistic one too but it requires hard discipline and focus ability. 

Meditation

well i did what @Gesundheit2said, i first begun with 2 minutes concentration then switched to labeling technique and every time some thought pops i would note, label and savor, during savoring i would spark this curiosity in me about the source of thoughts, which actually stayed with me the whole day so thanks for that.

the meditation itself went very fast but i still failed at 25 minutes, even though i put the timer for an hour lol (i tried to see how long i could go). 

though when i was at the barber waiting for my turn, i mediated there, and got an insight that all sounds are the same, the only difference is the frequency which makes it sound different, but all sounds are really one sound. 

i know it sounds weird written out but its legit. 

[Ayham]

Oh, i forgot to write here yesterday lol. 

anyways, today i woke up normally, i bought myself some clothes, and yes

Life Purpose 

i fully reworked my values, working on reworking my strengths now. 

Diet 

all clean

Reading 

more of the same, but my reading effectiveness has improved a lot, btw here's how i read:

1. when i get the book i skim it, read about the author, read the introduction. 

2. then i will start at the first chapter, i would read the first sentence of every paragraph of each chapter to get the big picture. 

3. read the first chapter normally, tracking with a pencil and underlining things that give me "aha" moments, and writing my thought process next to them. 

4. occasionally i would open my commonplace book and convert what's underlined as bullet points and my thoughts about it as sub bullet points. 

Meditation 

TODAY WAS FUCKING EXCEPTIONAL, so instead of doing it like everyday, i did leo's guided meditation, and i got into the same state i used to get into months ago (vivid colors, hand tingling, sense of peace and bliss, laughing for no reason) it was great, very different from usual. 

and i learned something, the element of letting go to be in a specific state, to enjoy meditation and not let it become mechanical, from now on, i commit to having an intent to sit for the sake of it and not for the cool states. 

Physics 

so like at 10 pm today i decided to learn quantum physics because why not, i downloaded Richard Feynman's lecture textbook volume 3 as recommended by this video. 

well it's super hard and i understood nothing but imma continue. 

[Michael569]

On 01/06/2022 at 11:58 PM, Ayham said:

@Husseinisdoingfine@itachi uchiha@Leo Gura@Michael569

How am i supposed to deal with doubts regarding life purpose? i guess just go with something and see if it works? i just needing some guidance lol. 

Hey @Ayham, sorry I missed the tag. 

You know, this is a difficult question to ask and I would say nearly everyone who has gone through the course, feels a degree of this. You're always trading one thing for another. Life Purpose is a game of choices and if you choose to go one way you are pretty much sacrificing all other ways. For example, once you choose to become a professional nature photographer and choose to become an expert in that you may be sacrificing your secondary dream to become a Doctor of Astronomy & Physics. You can still read on other topics but it is hard to become a Jack of all trades and want to do everything - this would eventually lead to the extreme amount of stress, confusion and anxiety.

What I see a lot on the forum and in the wider world in general, is people trying to become proficient in too many things where the real beauty often comes from becoming a top class expert in one or two things and then, if you have time expanding that further. Of course, you wanna have a general overview and know a little bit about different things but it is impossible with the time we have on this planet to become a deep expert in too many topics due to the nature of the complexity of the world and everything it includes. A shallow level of understanding may be useful for a pub discussion or shallow forum discussions but it won't satisfy you if one of your values is curiosity and knowledge seeking. Also the moment you come across a REAL expert on a particular topic you'll quickly realise the limitations of any shallow level of knowledge and they'll just spread you and your overhyped knowledge over like butter on bread. So ideally your LP should be navigated about becoming ultra proficient in a niche topic and then dedicating your life to that, ignoring most other things (as an LP but you can still read for pleasure about a variety of topics).

For example besides studying my core thing which is nutritional sciences, I love reading about history, especially the ancient history and the history of the 20th century in Europe but I would never dare to go into a debate with a history expert because they would just walk all over my deficient understanding. So it is more for a personal pleasure rather than wanting to become an expert here. 

I think it is worth spending time exploring and trying things to make sure you get an opportunity to sample different "tastes". Try a few things, change protocols, change approaches and eventually you'll get an inclination about what you are being pulled towards the most...you'll just know because it will be the thing you'll tend to gravitate towards automatically. 

Now, it does not mean that the thing that came from your LP course is the ultimate journey. Probably not. It just gives you a vague direction of which way you should start walking but it is likely that the journey will be evolving as you go. I like see LP course as the aeroplane that takes you up and from which you jump however where you choose to land with your parachute is totally your decision. 

So for now you can choose to act "as if". As if this was the journey. As if there was no other choice. As if this was your ultimate journey. Chances are that if the assumption is wrong (meaning this thing you chose is not the right thing for you) at some point a new path may open to you or you'll start getting hints that this is not your right calling. David Deida talks about this in "Way of the Superior man" that sometimes a project that was previously meaningful to you, suddenly completely loses all meaning. If that happens, you need to act on it but it is equally important not to be a dabbler and jump from one project to another just because you got a bit bored or feel a bit lost. That being said, It is important to recognise whether that doubt is linked to a massive loss of motivation and interest (see ebove) or simply confusion about how to approach this challenge of your current LP Journey. The later will be a common companion on your LP journey pretty much 100% of the time and you need to learn to be comfortable with feeling of not knowing and a feeling like this is not leading anywhere.

To give you a personal example, my thing when I finished LP course in 2016 was that I wanted to "help people live longer, better and to thrive in life" that was literally my Mission Statement but it took me about 5 more months to identify which way to take this during which I was exploring a variety of options. Eventually nutrition education was what I chose to go for but maybe if I chose to go into Chinese Medicine or herbal medicine or even medicine that would have become my thing. I don't believe there is ONE thing you are supposed to do. It is a game of choice and eventually you choose what resonates with your intuition the most. The worst thing is probably not to do anything and to choose some 9-5 corporate career or some mediocre job out of fear and out of complacency. While easier over short term and more comfortable, eventually that path will to an accumulation of misery and resentment, possibly even chronic depresssion.  

SO just by asking all these questions and digging deep into your values, you're already in top 5% of people who actively choose to shape the trajectory of their life rather than having others do that for them. Congrats on that! 

I know this is probably not too helpful but I'm deliberately not telling you what to do because you have to intuitively reach to a point that feels right. 

Hope that helps a bit

Take Care! you're on the right path and believe that this is the most meaningful thing to be doing with your life. 

[Ayham]

@Michael569 hey

Quote

Hey @Ayham, sorry I missed the tag. 

no worries, i just chose some random members that i know and like from being here for some time

Quote

You know, this is a difficult question to ask and I would say nearly everyone who has gone through the course, feels a degree of this. You're always trading one thing for another. Life Purpose is a game of choices and if you choose to go one way you are pretty much sacrificing all other ways. For example, once you choose to become a professional nature photographer and choose to become an expert in that you may be sacrificing your secondary dream to become a Doctor of Astronomy & Physics. You can still read on other topics but it is hard to become a Jack of all trades and want to do everything - this would eventually lead to the extreme amount of stress, confusion and anxiety.

yes, this is like what Leo called as committing to your one thing and your domain of mastery, but cant my one thing be something like "holistic understanding of everything", i like the idea of being a jack of all trades.

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What I see a lot on the forum and in the wider world in general, is people trying to become proficient in too many things where the real beauty often comes from becoming a top class expert in one or two things and then, if you have time expanding that further. Of course, you wanna have a general overview and know a little bit about different things but it is impossible with the time we have on this planet to become a deep expert in too many topics due to the nature of the complexity of the world and everything it includes. A shallow level of understanding may be useful for a pub discussion or shallow forum discussions but it won't satisfy you if one of your values is curiosity and knowledge seeking. Also the moment you come across a REAL expert on a particular topic you'll quickly realize the limitations of any shallow level of knowledge and they'll just spread you and your over hyped knowledge over like butter on bread. So ideally your LP should be navigated about becoming ultra proficient in a niche topic and then dedicating your life to that, ignoring most other things (as an LP but you can still read for pleasure about a variety of topics).

i see, so its really about choosing something and saying to no to everything else.

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For example besides studying my core thing which is nutritional sciences.

I KNEW IT!

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So for now you can choose to act "as if". As if this was the journey. As if there was no other choice. As if this was your ultimate journey. Chances are that if the assumption is wrong (meaning this thing you chose is not the right thing for you) at some point a new path may open to you or you'll start getting hints that this is not your right calling. David Deida talks about this in "Way of the Superior man" that sometimes a project that was previously meaningful to you, suddenly completely loses all meaning. If that happens, you need to act on it but it is equally important not to be a dabbler and jump from one project to another just because you got a bit bored or feel a bit lost.

 ohhhhh, i see, this solves everything!

so all i have to do is to keep experimenting, but at the same time not become a dabbler.

i am definitely getting the way of the superior man after i finish my current books.

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The worst thing is probably not to do anything and to choose some 9-5 corporate career or some mediocre job out of fear and out of complacency. While easier over short term and more comfortable, eventually that path will to an accumulation of misery and resentment, possibly even chronic depression.  

100% agree, this alone is a good reason to do life purpose course.

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SO just by asking all these questions and digging deep into your values, you're already in top 5% of people who actively choose to shape the trajectory of their life rather than having others do that for them. Congrats on that! 

Ayyyy, this is nice to hear!

i am currently reworking my values btw, stopped on the course and now returning back to values and strengths stuff, then will redo life purpose statement.

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I'm deliberately not telling you what to do because you have to intuitively reach to a point that feels right. 

that seems about the right way to do it! appreciate your efforts and your reply.

so i will just commit to whatever i find, trusting that in due time, my life purpose will refine and become more accurate.

thank you and good luck with your LP man

[Michael569]

2 hours ago, Ayham said:

but cant my one thing be something like "holistic understanding of everything", i like the idea of being a jack of all trades.

I dunno, it sounds too vague, too abstract and way too unattainable. I mean, if you can dedicate 16 hours a day to deep studying and have people take care of other things for you....maybe. Or maybe you can master a narrow field of domains such as becoming the expert in natural sciences...that can be achieved but becoming an "all-in expert" doesn't seem viable. Don't take hat as a limiting belief tho, prove me wrong  

Jack of all trades is kinda overrated and you'll quickly notice how full of shit a lot of these people are once they have to defend their position against an expert in the field. Twitter is an interesting place to observe that phenomenon. It's like learning a muscle-up, completely overrated and pointless exercise (and destructive if done wrong) but it is a neat party trick and you can impress people with it. 

[Ayham]

@Michael569 yeah  i see what you mean, i guess the whole point is in specialization, or maybe specialization and having knowledge in stuff related or similar to your niche, that could work too. 

thank you michael person . 

 

[Superfluo]

@Ayham Holistic understanding of everything means nothing. Holistic understanding of x, where x is a subset of "everything", is better

Edited June 7, 2022 by Superfluo

[Ayham]

ok, time for this time of the day. 

today was great, and i am now decided that instead of abstaining from video games, i will continue, not "gaming", but playing gamet from time to time, like i will only play games that are worth it, maybe once or twice a year, and within limit, 2 - 4 hours a day max, while also doing "awareness alone is curative" method. 

today i played for 2.5 hours, it was great, and i actually did something productive (more on that below) during the day instead of meditating then doing lp, then doing whatever and reading as breaks, until night comes and play a bit of video-games. 

 

Life Purpose 

I completely reworked my values, the top ones are almost the same, the last 3 or 4  changed, it feels more like me now. 

and since i- well downloaded a pirated version of the course (i told leo btw in the beginning of this journal, he didn't respond so idk what to make of that lol) since i live in iraq and my parents are divorced and our financial situation is not that great, i had no choice, but i will make up for it when i grow up, i promise, i already gained so much from this and from leo, it's amazing, thank you. 

so my whole point was, in this pirated version i have no link to the strengths assessment, and from my searching of the forum its either

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.viacharacter.org/&ved=2ahUKEwj5sM6oqJz4AhXdJMUKHWtYCZMQFnoECBAQAQ&usg=AOvVaw2eOcVU0P3B7KSFrKegv6Rl

or 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/&ved=2ahUKEwixwtaeqJz4AhVRiqQKHTVIA3MQFnoECBMQAQ&usg=AOvVaw11dr5B0jLleA28CIz3-5LI

i did them both, and i did the children test (from 13 - 17), since i originally done the normal one, i also bought strength finder 2.0 book, which was supposed to have an acess code but didn't lol, which i will use to second check my strengths, by reading detailed description of the strengths. 

i also sat down with a physical journal and contemplated my impact statement, it used to be "make people reach the highest level of wisdom". and now it is "make people reach their full human potential" which i really feel strongly, and yes i am having uncertainty between them, but i will go with the new one and see where it takes me as @Michael569said. 

what i mean by my statement is that i want to make someone go from zero to say for example the maximum amount of personal growth possible for that person, so it will be custom to each person, and i will help them through the process. 

so i imagine i want my work to be 1 on 1 or maybe small groups or maybe hosting seminars, writing also seems like something i would like, i gotta experiment. 

And my zone of genius is still mystery, thankfully i bought the book "the big leap", i will do all exercises there when i get to it. 

Diet

well, all clean. 

@Michael569sorry for being annoying but since this is your thing, is wheat as bad as leo claims? i currently eat special type of bread made from corn. 

Reading 

well today i got very carried on with reading, i read like 26 pages, which is a lot for me i usually read about 10 - 15 a day, maybe maximum 20.

the book talked about lots of stuff but something that stayed in my mind is that instead of scheduling time for focus, schedule timk for distraction. 

Meditation

i got back to mindfulness with labeling, its working again, i applied what i learned from letting go, im still attached to the cool experiences i get but its ok, for now. 

Physics 

lol i give up on quantum physics, it's way beyond my level, i am currently relearning physics from ground zero again, even though i studied at school but all of it was for exams, i am also taking notes using Feynman technique at my commonplace book. 

it will help when i start school year. 

i am following a guide on YouTube to self-  learn physics that has bunch of courses and practice problems. 

i plan after physics to do chemistry then biology. 

and programming too but idk where to fit it, maybe when i complete LP finding and it becomes less finding more doing LP. 

[Ayham]

@Superfluo

this is the problem, choosing the subset lol. 

i want my life purpose to be stage Yellow spiral dynamics since im fascinated by stage Yellow, stage Yellow is very integral and systematic so that's how i am kinda thinking about it. 

maybe i might need to identify what makes yellow yellow, and focus on that thing. 

[Michael569]

10 hours ago, Ayham said:

is wheat as bad as leo claims? i currently eat special type of bread made from corn. 

not unless you are coeliac, no. There are certainly better types of foods than refined wheat products but if you are asking about gluten specifically, it is not an issue unless you are allergic or sensitive to it. 

[Ayham]

so Leo has been generalizing since he has autoimmune disease .

i might just switch to whole wheat bread.

[Ayham]

well, another day has passed. 

i didn't game a lot, but started very late so hehe. 

Life Purpose

revised my values for last time, can't choose between ranking of 1st and second value, feel like switching them. 

also im so perfectionistic since a long time ago, that it would fit as a zone of genius. 

Diet 

clean. 

Reading

The talk talked about "productive meditation" basically its a technique where you think about some project or some thought and don't go to another thought, seems cool but not for me. 

Meditation 

im still happy i overcame the plateau im having, im back to getting results from meditation, i just need to increase time, my goal is 1 hour, also my concentration practice has gotten much better. 

Physics

i only  watched two lectures, because i was busy choosing which course to learn from. 

though it's cool, im figuring it out.