I feel insecure about my age and I'm only turning 20.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

IDK why I'm having these irrational thoughts. I think it's just the lack of skills? I heard Leo once say that he and other people were doing web development since middle school, I had no skill based hobby in middle school, or High School. My only skill is essentially my languages, for which I know three of (not including English). 

I'm really depressed at the prospects of becoming a wage slave and with my lack of skill. I'm insecure at my intelligence as well (given my really poor results on my college entrance exam, SAT), and my really bad work ethic and tendency to delay my assignments. I just feel as if I'm riding a factory belt, and if I don't develop skills NOW, then I'm going to be a wage slave and be miserable.

The main thing that is bothering me is the skills, or lack there of. I as well regret not being as social as I wanted to, and I deeply regret the amount of time I wasted on the internet.

The other great thing that bothers me is how I feel as if my good ol' childhood and teen years are finally at an end. The days of being treated special just because I'm young are long gone and now I'm expected to work and rot just like the other adults. I relate less with kids now and this saddens me. Childhood life has ended and the dreaded real life in the real world has begun, and I will never get those years back.

I wasn't a computer addict, but technology use was a big waste of my time while I was younger. I've now sworn off video games, I deleted my computer games and threw my Xbox game discs in the bin. I wish instead of just going home after school ended every day and being all alone, I had attended clubs and socialized with the people there. I cant correct this now.

*sigh* I guess it's time to start applying for colleges.

I'm turning 20 on May 14th, so you guys had better congratulate me.

Edited May 11, 2022 by Husseinisdoingfine

[Phil King]

I also feel the same way. I turned 20 5 months ago. Ive been having midlife crises since I was like 15 lol. The good news is were young enough to make mistakes and we have access to amazing personal development resources. If you take an objective look at your situation, youre in a better position than 99% of humanity. Most people dont even think of getting their shit together until theyre like 25 if theyre lucky. Most people I work with are 30+ and still dont have shit figured out and dont care to develop themselves. That regret of wasted time can be a good thing and its good that youre realizing that now instead of 35. 

If you just focus on today and being better than you were yesterday, then the years will take care of themselves. Just focus on 1 or 2 high value skills and if you work on them everyday consistently, youd be amazed at the results after 2 years and have built momentum. "Everyday it gets a little easier, but you have to do it everyday, thats the hard part." Congrats on turning 20 and good luck.

Edited May 11, 2022 by Phil King

[Husseinisdoingfine]

@Phil King That's what I think too. I think if I work really hard now, I can secure a good existence for myself when I'm 25, 30, and then I'll have the rest of my life to be free. 

But I have to act, no time wasted.

[integration journey]

 Have you taken the life purpose course? what skills do you want to build and what languages do you speak? start planning   good luck!

[Roy]

There are really only two ages; Alive or Dead

So no reason to feel insecure or panic. We're all in the same boat. It's completely irrational to be worry about age.

[ll Ontology ll]

Coincidence.

Thank me never, don't need it. Just get better. Click here for hand made $50 bills, I bought one (a dress) for my friend Luigi he loved it.

Peace @Husseinisdoingfine .

[ZenSwift]

22 here, I feel that, especially the pressures of survival. 

 

Wasted my entire youth on the internet and playing Videogames. 

 

It's either rise to the occasion or wither away and become a bitter victim. Wes Watson has been a really good motivator for me personally. 

 

Force yourself to develop clarity on what you want to create, and cut out everything in your life that isn't integral to taking care of your survival. 

Easier said than done, yes, but have faith.

 

Figure out what practice routines you can create for yourself to become world class, and do them religiously. 

 

My biggest goal in this chapter in my life is to escape wage slavery. 

[ZenAlex]

lol 30 here. Young whipper snappers, just make sure you don't a mistake that is so bad it causes irreparable damage. 

 

[Philipp]

soon 25, I am also addicted to the internet and videogames. 

You learn so much from the internet.

But you don't have any experience of yourself.

You don't make decisions /commitments.

From consuming all the self help, you start believing your are better than others. You start getting entitled and think you deserve something for knowing all that stuff. But the truth, only habits, commitments, experiences, challenges, skills, helping, allowing to be helped will actually make you progress. We are a generation that is consuming too much content and loose touch with ourselves, since we never experience ourselves. 

Can't really give advice, since I have not overcome those challenges myself. 

Edited May 12, 2022 by Philipp

[soos_mite_ah]

On 5/11/2022 at 4:46 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

IDK why I'm having these irrational thoughts. I think it's just the lack of skills? I heard Leo once say that he and other people were doing web development since middle school, I had no skill based hobby in middle school, or High School. My only skill is essentially my languages, for which I know three of (not including English). 

First of all, I want to start off with saying that your thought aren't irrational and that different life transitions can come with diffcult emotions at times. I remember when I first turned 20 (currently 22.5 right now) I had a wave of panic rush over me where I was like *shit I need to get my life together.* And then soon being locked in my house due to the pandemic really didn't help and I found myself feeling insecure about how I was wasting away my 20s especially since I was dealing with a lot mentally at the time whereas I felt like my peers were thriving. 

And congrats on the languages!!! I'm not particularly skilled in that department, so I would say that is pretty impressive and it's something to appreciate. As far as developing skills and hobbies, I kind of see it like dating. You try out different things and delve into them and it's just part of the process. Some people find what they are passionate about earlier, and some later similar to how they find love. Some people start dating younger and some older. And honestly, you don't really need a skill based hobby, especially at that age. I say that in the sense of you enjoyment of the hobby comes first and next thing you know, you have a skill. If I were you, I would focus on finding something that you genuinely enjoy and if monetizing it comes into the picture, that's great, but I don't think trying to choose something on the basis of that is healthy. You're allowed to just enjoy things and let yourself be.  Not everything can, should , or has to become a side hustle (or potential side hustle).    

On 5/11/2022 at 4:46 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I'm really depressed at the prospects of becoming a wage slave and with my lack of skill. I'm insecure at my intelligence as well (given my really poor results on my college entrance exam, SAT), and my really bad work ethic and tendency to delay my assignments. I just feel as if I'm riding a factory belt, and if I don't develop skills NOW, then I'm going to be a wage slave and be miserable.

OOooofff don't even get me started on the SAT. One of the best parts of graduating highschool was never dealing with that stupid test again. 

I would say try to understand why you have a bad work ethic. I remember feeling similarly a couple years ago and then I realized that a lot of it had to do with my environment and living situation and how that was contributing to my ability to be focused or energized. I don't know what your life is but what I have noticed typically is that people aren't naturally lazy rather there is usually an underlying cause to it. 

As for the wage slave thing, I feel that. I remember being super depressed about the same thing like a year or so ago. It's still not fully resolved in my head. And I think all of this is valid considering the capitalist hell scape we are in, how things are getting more expensive with stagnating wages, etc. But I will say that I feel like I'm in a better place right now regarding this. For me personally, I found it helpful to work on other areas of my life to build a more solid foundation for myself by focusing in school, getting an internship and getting involved on campus, nurturing the friendships I have etc. Sure, wage slavery sucks, but it isn't the only thing in life and you can find joy and purpose in other areas of your life and that is completely valid. 

On 5/11/2022 at 4:46 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

The main thing that is bothering me is the skills, or lack there of. I as well regret not being as social as I wanted to, and I deeply regret the amount of time I wasted on the internet.

I spent my late teens in hermit mode and the first 2 ish years of my 20s isolated in my house with this forum being a huge outlet for connection at the time. And I can really just say, it's never too late to start and that it's important to not dwell on the amount of time you "wasted." If anything, you can use that as motivation to put yourself out there and master a skill. Just out of curiousity, do you know what it is you're trying to master by any chance? If you don't, that's perfectly ok. You have plenty of time to figure that out and pick up new skills along the way. 

But I will say, that feeling regret over the amount of time you feel that you wasted is valid. That feeling of regret will take some time to process and there is some degree of mourning that can come from losing time. That's something that I've had to deal with recently since a large chunk of my college experience was taken from my health issues along with being locked in my house. I decided that I was going to salvage what I can from my college experience before graduating and see what I can do. I did catch myself feeling upset for not enjoying these last 4 years as much as I could have and not getting as ahead in my career as I thought I was going to get. It takes time to work through these things. 

On 5/11/2022 at 4:46 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

The other great thing that bothers me is how I feel as if my good ol' childhood and teen years are finally at an end. The days of being treated special just because I'm young are long gone and now I'm expected to work and rot just like the other adults. I relate less with kids now and this saddens me. Childhood life has ended and the dreaded real life in the real world has begun, and I will never get those years back.

Yeah... that's a normal part about entering your 20s. The nostalgia goggles get thicker for better or worse. I think it can be good to look back and deal with any unresolved issues and extract any lessons or even appreciate the good memories you have had from those times. But there is plenty more to look forward to and more good memories to be had in the future. Sure you won't get those particular years back, but you have plenty more years to go and those will come with their own ups and downs, challenges and celebrations. It might seem like those days were much easier but a lot of it has to do with the fact that you have picked up more skills on how to deal with life along the way. Now, you have new challenges and in 10 years, you will look back at this time and also thing *wow, things were so easy* even if they weren't because 30 year old you would have the skills and answers to deal with what you're going through rn. The way I look at it, comparing your childhood years to that of your adulthood is like comparing apples to oranges. Sure, they are both fruits, but it's unfair to compare them and say one is better than the other. 

On 5/11/2022 at 4:46 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I wasn't a computer addict, but technology use was a big waste of my time while I was younger. I've now sworn off video games, I deleted my computer games and threw my Xbox game discs in the bin. I wish instead of just going home after school ended every day and being all alone, I had attended clubs and socialized with the people there. I cant correct this now.

Why do you say that? 

[Leo Gura]

When you are my age you will look back at this thread and laugh. Your life has just begun.

[Baby Fox]

I'm 21 soon to be 22 in November. Struggle building structure in your life at this stage it's really difficult. And I can assure you that you are not alone, I'm still working towards that.

 

Getting a normal job for a while is not as bad as it seems, for me it motivates me to be less of a doormat to people since you are able to be independent.

 

All hopes from here and don't burn yourself , like I did when I was 18.

 

Caused a lot of trauma by judging myself for not being good enough when so many people younger than me achieved so much.

Edited May 13, 2022 by Baby Fox

[puporing]

???

[Terell Kirby]

For us older folks, we can't really knock the youth for their unreasonable takes on life .. youth is energetic, but is often un-wise.

@Husseinisdoingfine Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Enjoy the present as much as you can.

 

[Hardkill]

I totally empathize with what you’re going through considering how much more difficult it is to get into a top college/university than it was even about a decade ago. It also has gotten more difficult for most people to find and keep a good paying job for life compared to much earlier times. As someone who is in his 30s, I myself feel somewhat pessimistic about my future career prospects. Though, I hope that things in the future will be better.

However, 20 years old these days has become like the new 10 years old so to speak. As long as you don’t do anything that’s too crazy or reckless, eat healthy, exercise regularly, minimize alcohol intake, stay away from all illegal drugs, and what have you then you should expect to have your youth for about 25 years more and maybe even bit a longer than that.

[Loving Radiance]

On 11.5.2022 at 11:46 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

IDK why I'm having these irrational thoughts. I think it's just the lack of skills? I heard Leo once say that he and other people were doing web development since middle school, I had no skill based hobby in middle school, or High School.

That is like comparing yourself to a mouse or an elephant. Use Leo and other people as inspirations for what you want to do.

Quote

My only skill is essentially my languages, for which I know three of (not including English).

Are you sure you love language? Really feel into yourself if it inspires you.

You can learn any skill.

Look what you did in all your teenage years and what you implicitly got good in. For example, I have good visualization skills from reading alot of fiction and I'm amazing at expressing insights through words derived from introspection.

Quote

I'm really depressed at the prospects of becoming a wage slave and with my lack of skill. I'm insecure at my intelligence as well (given my really poor results on my college entrance exam, SAT), and my really bad work ethic and tendency to delay my assignments. I just feel as if I'm riding a factory belt, and if I don't develop skills NOW, then I'm going to be a wage slave and be miserable.

The main thing that is bothering me is the skills, or lack there of. I as well regret not being as social as I wanted to, and I deeply regret the amount of time I wasted on the internet.

You only become a wage slave by giving up right now and by imagining that you are a poor victim unable to deal with life.

This is my suggestion:

1. Contemplate and write down what you want and what inspires you.
2. Write which skills and meta-skills make that possible.
3. Write out the daily steps you can do to develop and get better in these skills.
4. Do a dopamine fast of just meditating, eating and sleeping for 3 days. Or just do the weekend.
5. End the fast and focus on the basics: Healthy sleep, diet, exercise, consciousness-expanding habit, deliberate practice, socializing, earning money. Only allow yourself to do tasks which are these basics.

Step 4 and 5 is hard because you feel the pain of your brain rewiring. Your brain will creatively come up with any possibility to get a high dopamine spike. Instead, cut the bullshit of the sugary-sweet and seductive impulses. Get still like in meditation and observe these cravings (e.g. for new information).

Quote

I'm expected to work and rot just like the other adults. [...] Childhood life has ended and the dreaded real life in the real world has begun, and I will never get those years back.

Nothing is stopping you to live the life you want.

Read that again.

When you read that, what excuses come up? Tell me.

Even if you are working at a factory belt, going home to turn on a mind-numbing series, eat greasy burgers and fall to sleep just to wake up living the same dream again... is that terrible? Is it horrible when your family, your friends, and even you say to yourself that you are a failure?

Quote

I wasn't a computer addict, but technology use was a big waste of my time while I was younger. I've now sworn off video games, I deleted my computer games and threw my Xbox game discs in the bin. I wish instead of just going home after school ended every day and being all alone, I had attended clubs and socialized with the people there. I cant correct this now.

You can correct this now. The warm sun is shining in your face and you just have to open your eyes to realize that you are loved.

Notice all the possibilities to connect with people. Come on, write down what you can do right now. I'll start:

• Going to the cafeteria and looking for people to chat and work with.
• Going to the lake and going up to people I feel drawn to in order to curiously get to know them.
• ...

It may also be that you are in a depressed-stressed loop now. If so, take a break and take a walk in the park. Listen to the leaves in the wind and the bird in the trees. Notice the vibe of people hanging out there. Take all of that in and notice that it's alright.

 

Just yesterday my coach told me this: It's okay to slow down, to be overwhelmed with life and to feel hopeless. If your life is a highway, then there will be times where you are stuck in traffic jams. The best you can do is to enjoy every moment of it and look for any way to use it as a jumping board. In a traffic jam you could meditate, journal, listen to music, take a walk, or face the truth you are avoiding and take a good cry. Live is not always lived at 90mph. You are on your highway of life, and you compare yourself to all the other people who are on their own highway driving 90mph. No, the road before you only lets you drive at 5mph every so often, and this is a beautiful opportunity to orient yourself in limbo (Leo video, summary) to recognize & do what you want. Are you inspired by the speed of the other drivers? Then take that goal. If you want to drive 9001mph then work on your car that it can go that fast.

Edited May 13, 2022 by Loving Radiance

[LastThursday]

On 11/05/2022 at 10:46 PM, Husseinisdoingfine said:

The days of being treated special just because I'm young

I get this feeling about every ten years, but it passes.

[Leo Palhano]

@LastThursday this cracked me up hahaha

btw, still waiting on your take about solipsism

[Husseinisdoingfine]

I really like this meme, nihilistic but it hits the point.

Edit: Someone in the comments wrote this message which striked me:

Quote

All those hours spent on video games.

Watching YouTube videos in endless succession.

Watching p*rn that makes you sick to your stomach.

Arguing online with people you'll never meet.

 

Do you understand?

And this:

Quote

People don't know true fear until the day they turn 20. Its an end of an era, the once promised age is something we never got to enjoy like they said we would. You wish you could go back, but you can't. You have to accept that reality will always change and that you can't stay in the same spot forever.

Although I do regret all of my internet usage and the anti-social lifestyle, I still don't have that much to complain about. I had awesome experiences which just fill up my phone picture gallery.

Also I really like to read and meditate, I've been doing that a lot, so that's also a cause of my anti-social behavior. There was also covid-19, which forced me to stay inside.

 

But God DAMN, all that time on YouTube, Steam (an online gaming service),  etc... Could have been MUCH better spent.

Edited May 13, 2022 by Husseinisdoingfine

[integration journey]

Watch life advice for young people part 1 and 2 again on the main channel   

Edited May 13, 2022 by integration journey
To Elobrate