How do you feel after masturbation?-poll

[Roy]

7 hours ago, Someone here said:

I'm trying to gather a consensus of how people here feel after they masturbate. as I'm trying to figure out the perfect sexual life for me

This entire poll and all your other preaching threads are just pointless mental masturbation and a distraction from you taking action and addressing your own deficiencies and insecurities. AS IF anybody can inform or dictate you on what your perfect sex life is. That's insane.

If you want to find out the answer to that question - start dating, go clubbing, get a girlfriend, hire some sex workers, etc.

[Osaid]

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

The longest I went without fapping was 90-100 days

How much were you edging during this. Was it pretty moderate? I would expect such a long period to fix things, seems like it kind of did for a bit.

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

and when I relapsed I didn't  immediately feel down.

Interesting, so that's some progression.

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I guess sexual energy or libido as Freud calls it is the main driver to all out other activities. When you lose too much of it in extreme masturbation..it will naturally affect your motivations. 

Maybe

[Someone here]

4 minutes ago, Roy said:

Are just pointless mental masturbation

At least mental masturbation doesn't cause me negative side effects as physical masturbation does 

[Someone here]

5 minutes ago, Osaid said:

How much were you edging during this. 

I used to edge few hours a week . But I noticed that I get blue balls (pain in the testicles) and frequent urination .I go to the toilet all the fucking time .because I fucked with my prostate and pelvic muscles through edging.  I will never ever edge again .

[Roy]

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

At least mental masturbation doesn't cause me negative side effects as physical masturbation does 

Think again. Every moment you spend seeking validation and avoid being challenged is a moment taking you further away from grabbing whatever issues you may have by the root and ripping them out.

[Someone here]

7 minutes ago, Roy said:

Think again. Every moment you spend seeking validation and avoid being challenged is a moment taking you further away from grabbing whatever issues you may have by the root and ripping them out.

I'm not sure what are you trying to imply .

My issue shortly put is that I feel a lot of negative shit after fapping and especially fapping to porn. And ironically when I ask people whether online or in real life .. they just say "nah ,it's all in your head bro ".  

So I lack clarity .and I wanna make sure that my sexual lifestyle is healthy. 

I understand that posting a lot about it can be annoying. But for Me its a very important topic that I'm seeking to understand and get to the bottom of 

Edited May 10, 2022 by Someone here

[Osaid]

8 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I fucked with my prostate and pelvic muscles through edging.

Pretty much the same result after my first 30 days. No urination problems but my prostate was clearly under pressure. No fap needs to be done carefully and seriously, not forced though.

[soos_mite_ah]

I picked relaxed because often times I do it so that I can fall asleep. But it also makes me feel energized or focused depending on time of day, why I'm doing it etc. And while I don't feel confident right away, I do think connecting to my sexuality long term has helped me in terms becoming more confident. 

[Someone here]

6 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I picked relaxed because often times I do it so that I can fall asleep. But it also makes me feel energized or focused depending on time of day, why I'm doing it etc. And while I don't feel confident right away, I do think connecting to my sexuality long term has helped me in terms becoming more confident. 

Any negative effects?  Is it all white ? You don't experience any decreasing in energy and sexual appetite? 

[Preety_India]

I feel good when I do it. 

(was feeling a little embarrassed writing this) 

 

[soos_mite_ah]

@Someone here By decreasing sexual appetite you mean I'm not horny anymore afterwards, yeah. But if you mean my over all libido is gone, no. 

I do get a certain degree of decrease in energy in a sense of sometimes after something more on the intense end, I just want to close my eyes and take a nap or cuddle for the next 15-30 minutes. Instead of seeing this as a decrease in energy, I just see it as relaxation. 

[Roy]

18 minutes ago, Someone here said:

My issue shortly put is that I feel a lot of negative shit after fapping and especially fapping to porn. And ironically when I ask people whether online or in real life .. they just say "nah ,it's all in your head bro ".  

I'm not denying your experience. If it makes you feel tired or guilty or whatever else then that is how you feel, and I believe you.

My point has been that your experiences are partly informed by your beliefs and attitudes towards something, which can be flawed or misinformed. You have to be open to those possibilities if you want to be able to change your relationship to things.

23 minutes ago, Someone here said:

So I lack clarity .and I wanna make sure that my sexual lifestyle is healthy. 

The thing is nobody will be able to dictate exactly what is healthy for you, you'll have to discover that on your own. You will never be "sure" just by listening to others. You'll find clarity by gathering a bunch of experiences (healthy AND unhealthy) and then returning to a place of contemplation whereby you round yourself out.

 

[Someone here]

@Preety_India @soos_mite_ah thank you girls for stepping in such a sensitive topic 

I know masturbating is okay, it's apart of everyone's life, but why do I feel weird afterwards as if I kicked a kitten or something? 

What's going on psychologically speaking?

I guess Depending on your upbringing, feelings of guilt or shame could be the cause. They may not feel particularly strong since i know that it's okay so my guess would be that i feel  bad afterwards because some part of my mind believes masturbation to be "bad" while my conscious rational mind thinks it's perfectly normal. That causes a psychological conflict since I am , in effect, trying to believe two opposite things at the same time.

Similar things happen to people for other reasons as well. Most people would feel guilt if, for instance, they killed someone even if it was the only option they had to prevent themselves from being killed. They've been brought up knowing that murder is wrong, yet that's exactly what they had to do to prevent someone from killing them, which society and common sense says is perfectly acceptable, so they have an internal conflict over what they believe which causes the guilt.

[Preety_India]

@Someone here you are in for serious trouble if you don't resolve this attitude right away. 

It's from your stage blue Indian culture and it impacts women more than men but it does not impact men any less. 

That's why I wrote "Diary of a sexually repressed girl" I suffered so much horrible sexual repression, it impacted my relationships for a long time and did not allow me to understand or enjoy sex. 

Then I decided I will need to break this social barrier and set myself sexually free. That moment was most beautiful because i understood the importance of sex. 

After that I never guilt myself on sex or don't carry a bad attitude towards it. 

But how you masturbate is important. 

My ways have changed permanently and significantly. 

I used to think of porn. 

I quit porn long ago. Long long ago. 

Now if I think of sex it's only in sacred ways imagining my lover/soulmate and me, nothing more, nothing less and it's wholesome. 

Since then I have finally realized and understood (God forbid) what sex really is. 

By having a bad attitude to sex, we corrupt sex and in turn corrupt ourselves. 

 

 

[Someone here]

4 minutes ago, Roy said:

The thing is nobody will be able to dictate exactly what is healthy for you, you'll have to discover that on your own. You will never be "sure" just by listening to others. You'll find clarity by gathering a bunch of experiences (healthy AND unhealthy) and then returning to a place of contemplation whereby you round yourself out.

Yes and my own direct experience is it's bad for me .there is no question about it..

What's wrong then with checking whether it's bad for others as well to be more certain? 

And the dilemma I'm facing is that the majority of people i talk to say it's not bad for them .so I'm curious to know WHY. Is it something about Me specifically (like genetics or upbringing) or what exactly is going on ?

[soos_mite_ah]

@Someone here I think a lot of it is pretty simple and just has to do with how there is still a lot of sexual shame spiraling around in society. Some corners of society has more of this shame than others but it's still there. 

Also, I think it can have to do with how you're using masturbation. If you don't have a healthy relationship with it and you're addicted to porn to deal with some type of issue in your life, then yeah, masturbation isn't going to feel so good afterwards becasue you're using it as a tool to further reinforce an unhealthy dynamic. 

One way I like to see the relativity of situations is by seeing different actions as tools rather than from a point of view of how A always leads to B. To illustrate, masturbation isn't always going to lead to guilt and shame rather it is how you use masturbation that determines how you're going to feel afterwards. I hope that makes sense. 

[Someone here]

@Preety_India @soos_mite_ah so is it just the  religious upbringing that  taught me that something  natural is unnatural. The problem isn't me, The problem is that i was raised in mythology?

On top of possible guilt of shame from your upbringing, for guys, there is a hormone change after an orgasm. This can result in a feeling of disgust toward things that do not seem disgusting when you are turned on.

The psychological term is "operant conditioning". Maybe I  have internalized messages that associate masturbation with negative outcomes from friends, family or the mass media. My behaviour has been modified so that I can  experience discomfort as a result of a behaviour that otherwise would not produce such feelings.

[Preety_India]

@Someone here I don't know seriously what you are talking about. 

I'm a 100% sure there is no such hormonal change post masturbating. It is only relaxing afterward. 

You seem to be entangled due to sexual shaming of yourself in a strictly patriarchal culture that looks at sex as some gratification. 

I used to be scared of sex. But I never felt disgust. 

Maybe disgusting porn is disgusting. 

Pure sex based on love is not disgusting, it's rather the opposite of disgusting. 

You probably are having sex in weird ways and attaching guilty pleasure to it later. 

Of course with everything there is a healthy and unhealthy. 

Sex is not unhealthy if it's rooted in love. 

 

[soos_mite_ah]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

so is it just the  religious upbringing that  taught me that something  natural is unnatural. The problem isn't me, The problem is that i was raised in mythology?

I mean.. it isn't always religious. In my experience at least, while a lot of the purity culture from my American peers does come from things like Christianity and how that shaped American culture to an extent, I found that for a lot of South Asian, particularly Hindu people, it isn't so much religion rather it's more of colonization and misogny (which is also related to colonization to an extent).  Sexual shame can come from lots of different areas in life,  it isn't just limitted to religion. 

5 minutes ago, Someone here said:

for guys, there is a hormone change after an orgasm. This can result in a feeling of disgust toward things that do not seem disgusting when you are turned on.

That actually happens for both genders.  

[Someone here]

12 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Im a 100% sure there is no such hormonal change post masturbating. It is only relaxing afterward. 

you don't know as a woman.  As a man I can tell you 100% it's a thing. 

there is a physical reaction that occurs in people whilst sexually aroused that raises your tolerance for things that you would normally find unpleasant. perhaps when you finish it's no longer being maintained and you feel icky.

11 minutes ago, soos_mite_ah said:

That actually happens for both genders .

@Preety_India  yoo see ?