She want to date me but is curious about other men. What do I do

[Noahsteelers34]

I recently posted about how me and this girl won’t see each other for 4 months because of summer break. I asked advice about if I should date this girl. Leo said I was behind too meek with her and If I wanted her I needed to claim her. Long story short we took shrooms together, she admitted she loved me. I told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend. After this she said she still wants to see other men. I told her that’s fine but that we are done. She says fine but 10 minutes later she says we will se how it goes and can be exclusive for now, and if she has interest in other guys she will let me know and we will end it. She wants to be my girlfriend but she is just indecisive and unclear. Should I make her make a decision? Should I just play it cool for now? I don’t wanna waste my time just for her to leave me for someone else. I want to gain the upper hand and not feel like I’m chasing her while at the same time not letting her keep seeing me on these wierd terms 

 

The thing is when we’re together she’s all  over me. The problem is she’s never been with another man before so she has nothing to compare it to. She’s just curious what other men are like.

 

 

[SeaMonster]

You both look awfully young. A lot of girls that age don't want a long-term relationship.  So either find one who does or be ok with not having a long-term relationship with her.

[JonasVE12]

Only be with her if you can fully love and accept her as she is, without needing her to change. She is young, she has this innocent curiosity still inside her, and longing to explore it. Don't you dare taking that away from her. Find yourself a girl who is ready for you. Don't force her. If you are going to force her, she is gonna leave you anyway.

[Terell Kirby]

1 hour ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

She wants to be my girlfriend but she is just indecisive and unclear.

Her being indecisive and unclear is  actually the reason why she isn't your girlfriend yet.

Women have to trust your masculine core before they are able to submit to you emotionally.

Sounds like you pushing her for a relationship is lowering her attraction.

Just focus on having fun, and being casual with her .. as a man, the relationship has to be her decision, not yours.

Edited May 9, 2022 by Terell Kirby

[Noahsteelers34]

@JonasVE12

there is no forcing going on here. I am not taking any thing away from her. I’m simply telling her she needs to make a decision. Even tho we look very younge we are both almost 20. 

[SeaMonster]

30 minutes ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

Even tho we look very younge we are both almost 20. 

That IS very young in this context.  A lot of college girls want to be free to have summer flings.  Telling her she needs to decide is fine, but really if she doesn't decide quickly you need to, so you can disentangle yourself from a potentially sticky situation.

 

Edited May 9, 2022 by SeaMonster

[JonasVE12]

If you love/like her and you want a relationship with her, let her fuck other men. Be a man about it. I understand the pride in all of this, but you will grow out of that if you learn to sit with the uncomfortable emotions that come from this allowance. It will bring some stuff out in yourself that you can take a look at and possibly grow from. Although it feels uncomfortable in the moment, you'll be happy that you did it.

I just don't condone the energy of suppressing a free feminine spirit. That's just not right. Appreciate her soul and let her be free. If you can do that, women will appreciate you for that. 

[Roy]

2 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

Should I make her make a decision? Should I just play it cool for now?

You are just going to hurt yourself (and her) by holding onto the idea that she'll stay with you, even for a while. She already told you no, then maybe, then yes. Sorry to say but all of that = no. The thing about love is it's like a butterfly, you can't control it. You've just got to keep your hand open and if it stays on your hand for a while, that's great. And if it ends up leaving, that's fine too. But you can never close your hand or it will just leave, and if your hand is closed it might never land there in the first place.

I'll tell you from experience. The best thing you can do for both of you to grow, is let her go even if it hurts. Reflect on the time you had, enjoy your summer, let her enjoy hers. Keep in touch if you want, but go and find someone who is ready for what you want instead of trying to make her decide to agree to what you want against her own feelings.

[Arcangelo]

1 hour ago, Roy said:

The thing about love is it's like a butterfly, you can't control it. You've just got to keep your hand open and if it stays on your hand for a while, that's great. And if it ends up leaving, that's fine too. But you can never close your hand or it will just leave, and if your hand is closed it might never land there in the first place.

^WOW!

You came up with this yourself? Or you saw it in a movie or something?

Good stuff man!

[Roy]

11 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

^WOW!

You came up with this yourself? Or you saw it in a movie or something?

Good stuff man!

No my brain just works in cheesy analogies............... mmmmm, cheese.

[Tudo]

3 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

 If you are going to force her, she is gonna leave you anyway.

Yes, exactly. Listen to this.

2 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

If you love/like her and you want a relationship with her, let her fuck other men. Be a man about it. I understand the pride in all of this, but you will grow out of that if you learn to sit with the uncomfortable emotions that come from this allowance. It will bring some stuff out in yourself that you can take a look at and possibly grow from. Although it feels uncomfortable in the moment, you'll be happy that you did it.

I just don't condone the energy of suppressing a free feminine spirit. That's just not right. Appreciate her soul and let her be free. If you can do that, women will appreciate you for that. 

 

1 hour ago, Roy said:

You are just going to hurt yourself (and her) by holding onto the idea that she'll stay with you, even for a while. She already told you no, then maybe, then yes. Sorry to say but all of that = no. The thing about love is it's like a butterfly, you can't control it. You've just got to keep your hand open and if it stays on your hand for a while, that's great. And if it ends up leaving, that's fine too. But you can never close your hand or it will just leave, and if your hand is closed it might never land there in the first place.

I'll tell you from experience. The best thing you can do for both of you to grow, is let her go even if it hurts. Reflect on the time you had, enjoy your summer, let her enjoy hers. Keep in touch if you want, but go and find someone who is ready for what you want instead of trying to make her decide to agree to what you want against her own feelings.

Seriously guys, these posts were really good. 

Edited May 9, 2022 by Tudo

[egoeimai]

Hey, your acne is not bad. How's it going with skincare?

As for the topic, just let her go. Of course it's great thst she's honest with you, but at the same time its painful for your ego. And of course it's her life so she could do anything, but if that doesn't involve you, just leave! You're not some desperate guy who's gonna wait for eternity! Detach from her. She chose what she chose. She can't have everything, don't spoil her by staying with her and giving her all. She doesn't worth it. Nobody can have everything he/she asks for. She can't play with you whilst having other guys too. Let her go. You want a relationship type of girl. She won't have it all. It doesn't work after all. 

[Noahsteelers34]

@egoeimai

cleaning up my diet is definitely helping! 

deep down i feel you guys are right. We have gotten extremely close, and spent so much time together over the past 4 months. Learning to let go of someone I really love will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but does loads for my self esteem and for my growth. I don’t know why it feels like I won’t find another girl like her. The way she kissed me, the way she held me, the cute feminine sounds she would make. I feel a bit of a disinterest towards other girls at this point. I really hope this is just me being blind, and that someone who is really meant for me is on the way 

[egoeimai]

@Noahsteelers34 of course there's going to be someone more suitable for you. You feel such way because you have almost no experience and you're too young, that's fine. Stay strong ?

[michaelcycle00]

Seriously though, what could she possibly be curious about regarding other men? *Wink wink*

If she had a Koenigsegg Agera RS1 she wouldn't be interested in some second-hand Lamborghini Gallardo.

She isn't satisfied with you. For what reason, I don't know. Too many people in this thread are approving of her behavior which astounds me honestly.

Think about it: the best-case scenario is you let her go, she rides 5 guys and decides to come back to you. You accept her, and in the process, automatically become a cuckold.

The ultimatum is your best bet; it's either you or the other guys. It's gonna be hard of course, but she made her choice long before you did.

If I was happy with my girlfriend, I wouldn't have a flying thought about what other girls are like. I find it disgusting honestly, but it's the unsuppressed nature of most women. They're hard-wired to see potential mates as providers. "What can you offer ME?", "What do I get from YOU?" is more or less from where they see things when it comes to partners and the other way around is of no concern to them. So the moment someone who they perceive as better comes along, boom, you're gone. Just like that. I think your girl is trying to see if she can score someone who she sees as superior to you.

Anyway, I hope you get what I'm saying sooner rather than later, so you don't waste any more time on useless endeavors. Giving a girl complete trust and freedom while in a relationship is something only a select few of them can have that won't result in problems, so vet them well.

Edited May 9, 2022 by michaelcycle00

[meta_male]

This sounds like a bad deal, bro. Ideally, you want to be with someone who's serious about dating you. You've probably shown weak behaviour in the past, which is why she is acting hot and cold now. If I remember your last post correctly, you didn't seem to be too sure about whether you wanted to keep playing the field or be in a relationship either. She can sense that.

[Leech]

8 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

If you love/like her and you want a relationship with her, let her fuck other men. Be a man about it.  

“Being a man about it,” has nothing to do with if op is comfortable with his girlfriend sleeping with other guys. If he’s not comfortable with it then he shouldn’t appect less then his stated boundaries. His not less of a man if that’s his boundary. Don’t impose your beliefs about what is a manly thing to do.

9 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

@JonasVE12

there is no forcing going on here. I am not taking any thing away from her. I’m simply telling her she needs to make a decision. Even tho we look very younge we are both almost 20. 

Look you’re doing the right thing in my opinion. If you have set a boundary about what you expect in a relationship stand by it. If she doesn’t want to give you a straight answer then she hasn’t meet your criteria for you to be exclusive. You can then decide wether to keep things casual or stop talking to her.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[somegirl]

3 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Also, believe it or not, when your value is high enough, you can have an open relationship with multiple women - but open only from your side. It's selfish, but dating is inherently selfish, so who cares. The posibilities in life are out there, you just gotta grab them.

Good luck finding gals who would be willing to put up with that kind of dynamic. They certainly won't be okay finding out they are not the only ones a guy is sleeping with.

[Noahsteelers34]

10 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

If you love/like her and you want a relationship with her, let her fuck other men. Be a man about it. I understand the pride in all of this, but you will grow out of that if you learn to sit with the uncomfortable emotions that come from this allowance. It will bring some stuff out in yourself that you can take a look at and possibly grow from. Although it feels uncomfortable in the moment, you'll be happy that you did it.

Yeah there is no way I would be comfortable with that. I naturally a jealous person and maybe ide grow from it but it’s just now worth the emotional turmoil for me at this point.