She want to date me but is curious about other men. What do I do

[somegirl]

11 hours ago, Terell Kirby said:

She wants to be my girlfriend but she is just indecisive and unclear.

So she doesn't want to be your girlfriend.

Anything other than an enthusiastic Yes is a No.

If she truly wanted to be with you, why would she risk losing you by experimenting with other guys beforehand. Does she think you will always be available for her, and will always wait for her, once she runs out of options? F that. This also has to do with your self-respect. Why would you allow someone to treat you as an option? 

Edited May 9, 2022 by somegirl

[SeaMonster]

4 hours ago, Tortured Soul said:

What does this mean? @Carl-Richard

It means you're being a lying prick and chopping a quote to change its meaning. 

[Noahsteelers34]

I just showed her this entire thread. I ended things. We’ll see if she comes running back later

Edited May 9, 2022 by Noahsteelers34

[egoeimai]

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

I can send you screenshots with conversations, if you want. I'm not making shit up, there are women out there who will let you do it. Don't assume every woman is like you, and is interested in the same things you are. There are women who even LIKE sharing one man. I know, shocking.

I can already anticipate somebody's answer to this: "But these women have low self-esteem, and low sense of self worth!" Shut up bro?

If she'd let you do it, she doesn't give a shit about you. Trust me, she never liked you.

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

I can send you screenshots with conversations, if you want. I'm not making shit up, there are women out there who will let you do it. Don't assume every woman is like you, and is interested in the same things you are. There are women who even LIKE sharing one man. I know, shocking.

I can already anticipate somebody's answer to this: "But these women have low self-esteem, and low sense of self worth!" Shut up bro?

Damn.

If that really is true, I just don't understand that.

I still think most of the girls wouldn't be okay with that. There are some exceptions obviously, which you stated.

But it's true, just because I think I wouldn't do something as a girl, doesn't think other girls wouldn't do that too. 

[Noahsteelers34]

I talked to her. All her friends think she should date me but she said she’s not 100% about it, and if she’s not 100% then it’s not fair to me. She said if she would have met me junior year is would have been a lot different. She loves me but is not in love with me. She feels there is something missing. This has me curious what that something is, and what I can do to change that 

[meta_male]

1 hour ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

I just showed her this entire thread. I ended things. We’ll see if she comes running back later

What did you show her the thread for?

Work on understanding attraction. You basically told her it's either a relationship or the end. No woman trusts a man pushing to tie her down, it's a desperate move. It's the girl's job to put a label on the whole relationship dynamic. Notice how she said she wanted to see other guys afterwards...

You will also have to work on your jealousy issues as you'll run into more girls testing you this way. As long as you're not exclusive with a woman you'll have to tolerate other guys being in the picture. Girls push your buttons and see how you react, you can't avoid that. Next time just focus on having fun, make the girl laugh, and get her into bed. You'll see she will naturally gravitate towards you if she can see that you give her enough space for love to grow. Especially because most other guys don't know how to treat women properly, it just seems that way.

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Damn bro, don't flash my opinions to everyone like that? I wanna keep them lowkey, d'you know what I'm sayin'?? Just kiddin'.

?

Edited May 9, 2022 by Ulax

[Noahsteelers34]

49 minutes ago, meta_male said:

What did you show her the thread for?

Work on understanding attraction. You basically told her it's either a relationship or the end. No woman trusts a man pushing to tie her down, it's a desperate move. It's the girl's job to put a label on the whole relationship dynamic. Notice how she said she wanted to see other guys afterwards...

You will also have to work on your jealousy issues as you'll run into more girls testing you this way. As long as you're not exclusive with a woman you'll have to tolerate other guys being in the picture. Girls push your buttons and see how you react, you can't avoid that. Next time just focus on having fun, make the girl laugh, and get her into bed. You'll see she will naturally gravitate towards you if she can see that you give her enough space for love to grow. Especially because most other guys don't know how to treat women properly, it just seems that way.

It’s not a desperate move. The desperate thing for me to do is for me to give her my love and attention when she’s looking for other guys. It’s not desperate to have boundaries for your feelings. She actually thought the thread was funny then she showed me all the Reddit posts she’s been viewing about it. Also you don’t know what your talking about, me telling her I wanted to date her did not cause her to want to see other guys. It’s called Simple’s being honest about how you feel. There is no reason it is the females responsibility to do that  

Edited May 9, 2022 by Noahsteelers34

[Gesundheit2]

2 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

I talked to her. All her friends think she should date me but she said she’s not 100% about it, and if she’s not 100% then it’s not fair to me. She said if she would have met me junior year is would have been a lot different. She loves me but is not in love with me. She feels there is something missing. This has me curious what that something is, and what I can do to change that 

I wouldn't worry about that for now. Sometimes, it just doesn't click with the other person, for no real reason. Meet other women and see. If the problem still persists, then you may have to check and diagnose.

[egoeimai]

3 hours ago, SeaMonster said:

It means you're being a lying prick and chopping a quote to change its meaning. 

Totally loved this answer ? ? ?

3 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

I just showed her this entire thread. I ended things. We’ll see if she comes running back later

Well no you wouldn't want her to come back if it was your future self seeing all this you would say no 

@Knowledge Hoarder trust me she doesn't give a fuck. Don't worry. It is how it is.

[egoeimai]

50 minutes ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

It’s not a desperate move. The desperate thing for me to do is for me to give her my love and attention when she’s looking for other guys. It’s not desperate to have boundaries for your feelings. She actually thought the thread was funny then she showed me all the Reddit posts she’s been viewing about it. Also you don’t know what your talking about, me telling her I wanted to date her did not cause her to want to see other guys. It’s called Simple’s being honest about how you feel. There is no reason it is the females responsibility to do that  

I totally agree. It's not a desperate move. Being honest and polite at the same time is actually very attractive trait and whoever doesn't appreciate this, is not worth of your time and essence.

[Ulax]

4 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

Totally loved this answer ? ? ?

?

[meta_male]

1 hour ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

It’s not a desperate move. The desperate thing for me to do is for me to give her my love and attention when she’s looking for other guys. It’s not desperate to have boundaries for your feelings. She actually thought the thread was funny then she showed me all the Reddit posts she’s been viewing about it. Also you don’t know what your talking about, me telling her I wanted to date her did not cause her to want to see other guys. It’s called Simple’s being honest about how you feel. There is no reason it is the females responsibility to do that  

I agree with you on setting certain boundaries. But you were wondering what was missing. And I'm telling you it was the attraction. There's ways you can create attraction, and then there's subtle things you can do to turn a woman off. 

[Roy]

7 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

I just showed her this entire thread. I ended things. We’ll see if she comes running back later

Yikes man, should not have done that. That doesn't send a good message. It's ok to be confused or need help, since we all do at some point, but you shouldn't have shown her what other people are saying about it. It communicates a few things;

- That YOU aren't decisive and don't even know what you want. Which she won't find attractive and makes her even more ok with being unsure herself.

- "Hey look all these people think you're being silly, annoying, xyz, etc.!" (immaturity)

- Also shows you don't respect the privacy of the relationship, which I imagine deep down she's a little uncomfortable with even if on the surface she doesn't seem so. Also I kind of overlooked it but I'm going to take down the picture of you two since it kind of against the rules here, since people not using the forum can't really consent to their information being shared. Just try to conceal peoples identities in the future, (no names/addresses/pictures). Refer to them with fake names or acronyms.

This will sound a little callous but it helps to be made re-aware of something that is quite obvious given your situation. You are in college dude, a new girl will come around the corner in the next 15 minutes if you go looking, so don't get too hung up on just one. This is the time and place to be loose and free and open!

[Noahsteelers34]

1 hour ago, Roy said:

Yikes man, should not have done that. That doesn't send a good message. It's ok to be confused or need help, since we all do at some point, but you shouldn't have shown her what other people are saying about it. It communicates a few things;

- That YOU aren't decisive and don't even know what you want. Which she won't find attractive and makes her even more ok with being unsure herself.

- "Hey look all these people think you're being silly, annoying, xyz, etc.!" (immaturity)

- Also shows you don't respect the privacy of the relationship, which I imagine deep down she's a little uncomfortable with even if on the surface she doesn't seem so. Also I kind of overlooked it but I'm going to take down the picture of you two since it kind of against the rules here, since people not using the forum can't really consent to their information being shared. Just try to conceal peoples identities in the future, (no names/addresses/pictures). Refer to them with fake names or acronyms.

This will sound a little callous but it helps to be made re-aware of something that is quite obvious given your situation. You are in college dude, a new girl will come around the corner in the next 15 minutes if you go looking, so don't get too hung up on just one. This is the time and place to be loose and free and open!

I get what your mean. Personally I think your overreacting cuz it’s over anyways and that why I did it. I only just told her about it, over the phone once it was over almost as a joke  and she admitted she did the same thing, talking to friends and on Reddit. I wouldn’t have showed her it I thought it was going anywhere more. As for the picture I understand what you mean but it’s not like I said her name or anything else about her so I don’t really understand why you took it down. 
 

plus compared to how she has disrespected the privacy of the relationship this is nothing. 

Edited May 9, 2022 by Noahsteelers34

[Roy]

1 hour ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

As for the picture I understand what you mean but it’s not like I said her name or anything else about her so I don’t really understand why you took it down. 

Alright, but let's try to keep everything private out of respect yeah?

1 hour ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

plus compared to how she has disrespected the privacy of the relationship this is nothing. 

It's not a competition, and whatever someone else does doesn't justify you responding in a similar way. Who cares what she did, it doesn't matter. This is your personal development.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out though, I know it sucks. Try to learn what you can from the experience so the next one is even better.

[Danioover9000]

   Below is solid advice actually, definitely worth considering.

21 hours ago, Roy said:

You are just going to hurt yourself (and her) by holding onto the idea that she'll stay with you, even for a while. She already told you no, then maybe, then yes. Sorry to say but all of that = no. The thing about love is it's like a butterfly, you can't control it. You've just got to keep your hand open and if it stays on your hand for a while, that's great. And if it ends up leaving, that's fine too. But you can never close your hand or it will just leave, and if your hand is closed it might never land there in the first place.

I'll tell you from experience. The best thing you can do for both of you to grow, is let her go even if it hurts. Reflect on the time you had, enjoy your summer, let her enjoy hers. Keep in touch if you want, but go and find someone who is ready for what you want instead of trying to make her decide to agree to what you want against her own feelings.

   "Be like a rolling stone, that even moss won't be able to grow", old quote of a master.

[Arcangelo]

On 5/8/2022 at 7:55 PM, JonasVE12 said:

If you love/like her and you want a relationship with her, let her fuck other men. Be a man about it.

LOL!

[Preety_India]

18 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

I can already anticipate somebody's answer to this: "But these women have low self-esteem, and low sense of self worth!" Shut up bro?

I'm having difficulty answering you. Yes it's a function of low self Esteem. But what  do ya know dude, since I have been doing my meditation recently, I have been able to love people unconditionally (in context of relationships), I never thought this was possible but now I feel like I can love a guy even if he cheated on me, I have no clue.