Posted May 10, 2022 Its actually needy if a man needs a woman to be happy. Woman don't like that. Because you want a partner for your selfish reason of wanting a partner so you can be happy ... That's not how it works out very well Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 10, 2022 3 hours ago, Blackhawk said: No I can't. No it's not. These are limiting beliefs you need to let go of. Realize they're just thoughts and not some absolute truth, otherwise prove it. Become aware of thoughts like this and realize they don't describe you but limit your potential greatly, your potential is greater than you think it is. Thoughts like this is your ego resisting change to solidify your identity as a black pilled individual. All that has happened is that you've had some negative experiences to confirm these thoughts as true for yourself with. Read Eckhart Tolle, it is powerful as heck. You can use techniques from his books(especially The Power of Now) to become more aware of your limiting beliefs and let them go for good. Then you will not act like they are true, you will go out there in the world again and when you least expect it you'll have a positive experience with a girl that solidifies the absolute fact that those thoughts you had were in fact just limiting beliefs. You remind me of my mother, all her life she told me she was not a creative person, and it made her never even attempt to practice an instrument. People believe they have no talent in something because they didn't get good results yet and so they don't practice. People who are good at things practice a lot to become good. Believing you're not good at something makes you believe practice/even trying at all is not worth it and so you will not become good and then your reality will seem to confirm your thoughts to be true. But they're NOT! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 10, 2022 I'll tell you an important thing: do you know what can be worse than being hated by someone? It is to be loved without knowing how to love back and how to love yourself. If you are suffering from the "NO", wait for the "YES" and you will see how terrible it can be. I'd like also to wake you up to the notion that this conversation is not a joke, this is no BS, and you can't keep playing the game of reinforcing negativity as if there would be no consequences. Nobody here can provide you with the exact formula to solve your problems. This whole community is about you finding it by yourself. I wish you comprehend and embrace it. Your capability, choice, and responsibility. About your complaint here, wouldn't suggest you approach 100 girls. But taking care of your heart and yourself. Pain is part of life, for everyone. Could you come to terms with that? Maybe just for a while, if the circumstances are unbearable, could you take a break? Look in other directions and with patience, collect the information you need. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 11, 2022 No one hates you for no reason. The default stance most people take when meeting new people is to like them You have to do something to make people hate you Being socially awkward isn't usually enough to make people hate you, but your anxiety/insecurity convinces you it is "I hate me, so of course they hate me" I have a similar loop of thinking and it's very annoying. A few practical things that helped me realise how bullshit that thinking is: Going to the same social places everyday: coffee shop is a great example. I'm socially awkward as fuck sometimes, so I've done plenty of weird things when small talking with the people at the local coffee shop. But I'm a regular, I go every day, and they are all still super nice to me. They even asked me to write a note in a card for one of their staff members when they were leaving, which shocked me because I was dead certain they thought I was a creepy weirdo who they had to put up with coming to work in their coffee shop and pretend to be nice to. And then I was convinced the note I wrote would be weird, and they'd hate me for it. And they were still lovely to me. The hatred was in my head Going to some kind of sport with lots of people regularly. In my case, jiu-jitsu. Every time I trained with someone, I was convinced they hated me if they weren't super nice to me. Again, I'm awkward as fuck and I'm not really a typical sporty athlete so I don't fit in there. But again just by sheer chance of being there enough, I've met several people who are super friendly towards me for no reason other than we've been in close proximity. Even though I was super awkward I think the main thing for you to realise is that being introverted, shy and awkward does not make people hate you. It won't make people like you, but it won't make them hate you either Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 11, 2022 5 hours ago, something_else said: I have a similar loop of thinking and it's very annoying. Me too, and it's worth considering that, although these thought loops are a symptom of the disorder, the root cause can be hard wired into the neural pathways and networks of our brains. Which can be created by all sorts of events going back to childhood and even by our DNA. We may get frustrated by finding it hard to change negative thought patterns, which in theory should be easy enough to change, but there's brain structures driving them so it takes time, patience, self-forgiveness and above all practice to make inroads into our brain's neuro-plasticity and achieve lasting change. By the way @Blackhawk it's not clear to me what you're asking for in this thread. Do you want advice and suggestions (I know previously you've not wanted those), or are you just venting and wanting us to listen and empathise? Relax, it's just my loosely held opinion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 12, 2022 Maybe some hate you. Not all. I think the real problem here is how you seem to loath yourself and others. Gone Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted May 13, 2022 He hates himself and dont have love for himself to change it going on with the thread is pointless... There is nothing safe with playing it safe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
