One-sided friendships

[AleksM]

If Im the only one inviting people out and initiating conversations over text is this a one-sided friendships? I have noticed that a lot of people are friendly towards me when I initiate things but I'm getting tired of always being the one to hold things together.

[kag101]

30 minutes ago, AleksM said:

If Im the only one inviting people out and initiating conversations over text is this a one-sided friendships?

what's truly important is not who's initiating the conversation -- but the quality of the interaction.

is he/she giving me evidence that he's truly enjoying talking with me? or is he just replying out of politeness?

[Arcangelo]

3 hours ago, AleksM said:

If Im the only one inviting people out and initiating conversations over text is this a one-sided friendships?

Yes.

[Bando]

2 hours ago, kag101 said:

but the quality of the interaction

Yup this hits the nail on the head this is much more important than who reaches out first, if the quality of the interaction is meh, then you can make an argument that you always reaching out is a sigh of a one way relationship, theres a lot more factors that go into this.

[JonasVE12]

I think it's important that you see what connects you to the other person. How much feeling are you bringing to peoples life? You have to be able to understand and clearly see what the context of their life is, their values, their thoughts, feelings, their life direction and then see if you are in any way connected to those things. It's about knowing a person deeply, and then seeing how you add value to their life. There is so many different values a relationship can be built on. People crave novelty, excitement, adventure, and the whole range of emotions really. If you are only letting them associate one type of emotion with you, the relationship gets old very quickly. I let friends go very quickly nowadays, I don't believe effort should be what brings the relationship forward. The more I'm being able to let go, the more energy I got to form deeper and richer connections. But it's also about becoming someone who is interesting, someone who has a lot of depth and authenticity to him. Someone who knows how to bring people together, how to create feeling, etc. And it is especially important to be someone who is confident socially, knows how to entertain people. If you have this sense of curiosity and expansion in your life, you will always connect to new people, and there will be this emotional pull to those people if there is something worth being pulled towards. There will be no force or pushing. It just happens. The same for them. And there is no expectation. You can let go because you are always expanding. 

Quote

If Im the only one inviting people out and initiating conversations over text is this a one-sided friendships? I have noticed that a lot of people are friendly towards me when I initiate things but I'm getting tired of always being the one to hold things together.

What happens if you stop initiating? Would you still have a lot of friends left, or is there loneliness?

It could be that you are not interesting enough for those people, not creating enough value, and on the other side, trying to hold on to what you have because you don't want to feel lonely. 

Maybe stop trying to expand your existing relationships, but strive to become someone who constantly creates new relationships and who is interesting that he invites people into his life, generating curiosity to those who he meets.

Really deep friendships are formed with the people that have something in common with you. And your future ideals connect to that of each other. 

[puporing]

4 hours ago, AleksM said:

If Im the only one inviting people out and initiating conversations over text is this a one-sided friendships? I have noticed that a lot of people are friendly towards me when I initiate things but I'm getting tired of always being the one to hold things together.

Well if it starts to not feel good... I wouldn't keep doing it.  Let them come to you and see what happens. That also opens you up to meeting new people!

[NoSelfSelf]

Cut those people out of your life and make room for someone that values you!