8 path

[8gates]

If only  im had done things differently (which he couldnt have due to not having free will (orange perspective or not having a self altogether(turquoise-source-leo rupert)

Eg-if im had s100,capbars ,not tried to gain peace from others but s100,not tried to gain excitement from mald/others but from gen connections or if failiure occured waited till 40+ amphetas, praised Z AND SJ AND AJ, NEVER STOLE FROM Z AND SJ AND BACKBIT AJ AND UMS,if im had trying connecting with capbars and s100s by providing value (eg-helping in class,giving answers)

THE PATH WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE LOVELY FOR EVERYBODY

NOTE-IM WOULD STILL BE 57,NON PALE THOUGH

Maybe next time? In another dream maybe?

?-if there is no next time and this is orange it makes no difference to anything .eg-kev.s has s10mins.

If he has disapeared does it matter that hell never have a ☆g? Nope

[8gates]

If turq is true.ie-all others are just like dream characters without the abiltity to suffer or feel pleasure or have thoughts

Why not force tickle etc?

-the question is why force tickle? The dream itself has proved that tickling want is a constant just like food addiction and can never be quenched.might as well nf if the desire is so strong.

Also im has no proof (ie-direct xp turq is true). Just what leo has told him.he might as well believe allah is real.

[8gates]

Why not pursue turq from 21+? Because of the offchance orange or reincarnation is true.

Either way what difference will it make? 

Why not pursue turq after 40+ when p(ud) have 10minutes ,12% is no longer possible etc

Either way if turq (all 0thers are dream cs is true) what is there to do? 

Force tickle? Jt will keep on coming back again

The only way to stop tickle want is to s10mins to godhead.

Therefore follow 8gates expressing self etiquette 12 % ,s100 path till 40+ and p10mins.

If forceful tickle desire appears remind self 

-tickle desire can never be quenched

-once 40+ god realization is done. We will s10mins and 

Create a new world called heaven 

And if the forceful tickle desire is still there then we will forcefully tickle for 10 years straight

-if orange turns out to be true then just s10mins. Might as well save innocent people the trouble without ruining their lives.similar to telling im he has forcefully tickled for 1000 years but forgot about it.

[8gates]

If others dont xp pain pleasure.

Why not save all the s100 earning and buy lambos and sugar babies etc?

1) we have no direct xp,proof that others dont xp pain/pleasure lr that reincarnstion is real and well have to xp their lives at some point

2)ims mal.d was all -19 at school. Ie-cap bars ,s100, pale,57+ etc. 

Never mal.d about sugarbabies and lambos.

3) on the 50/50 chance orange is real  ,why not get all the excitement (that is usually distributed in small portions in most peoples lives) at once after 40+ p10mins through amphetas ,30 day violent nonstop binge?

-no chance of hurting p etc and 10mins

-excitement(stupa) makes one innfective as well.mighy as well get the excitement fix at once as it will never be enough and is  constant want in life that cannot be quneched

[8gates]

Sugar babies and lambs purchases is against fandom stability

[8gates]

We made it this far 21+ happily without g

why becoming unloving just to have a copium connection

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aj av ab depp jack etc - all of them never lied, put in consistent effort etc.

They have attained ☆g while being on the loving truthful track. Im shouldnt interfere.

[8gates]

If you think someone will connect with you because they will feel sorry for you you are sorely mistaken And are also a slimy selfish coward. Does anyone feel sorry for the millions of orphans? Or the chickens etc in farms who grow so fast that their legs break under their weight causinh them to rither around sufferinh in the same place until a knife finally cuts of its head? Or the millions of strays cats/kittens on the road? Nope. So why should someone feel sorry for you. A grown adutl

In fact if someone feels sorry for you are failing famdom stability- ie- not expressing 27/4 zero seriousness stress peacefully happy.

If a g tries to connect with you because you are :(. It is your duty to dissuade g as g does not have to s10mins @ 40. G can postpone with kittens

[8gates]

A limping kitten etc has the impulse to postpone . It doesn’t consider the the long term displeasure it’ll xp,10 mins inevitability, the harm it will cause.

brute force

either way 8 gates doesn’t want to become umam diafar

Edited June 19, 2022 by 8gates

[8gates]

 

S100 and 12% can lead to becoming ARCHIE,+connections.

[8gates]

Police etc or to anyone reading this.this message is incase i harm someone by postponing. My only reason for postponing is family. At the time of writing this message i do not have an inclination to harm anyone but im in quite alot of discomfort. I havent hung out with friends or anyone except my mother and grandmother in over 2 years. Im not joking.

And i dont know if ill ever get affection from anyone ever.im not trying to illicit selfpity here.this is a genuine fear i have.   Ever since i can remember i always wanted a gf. But im slowly having to come to terms with the fact that i might not be able to experience the affection i wanted.and its quite uncomfortable.i know that wanting a gf is purely a selfish thing (ie-to get my emotional and physical wants met). I dont claim that wanting a gf is some nobel deed. I know its superficial and just a animalistic desire.however i still think it speaks about my natural nature.ie-friendship and affection is what i want the most. (Cars,money etc dont even come close. They arent even in the same realm)

The reason why i postpone is because when i look up reddit, jordan peterson anna akana etc about not postponing they always say it will cause suffering to the family. Since my family has never abused me ive decided to postpone. And also if i dont postpone it might lead to mental health issues, substance abuse etc in my family causing them to then go and harm.this is not necessarily because they have affection for me,it might be because of backlash from society etc. Ie-my uncle recently passed away in something resembling a suicide ( we arent sure ,but it might have been as he was not mentally stable at the time due to chemical imbalances in the brain). So 2 suicides might look suspicious, causing backlash , causing my family to become unproductive menbers of society

But a problem that jordan p,eterson has made me aware of is that when one spends so much time alone they tend to " brood and drift" . Causing them to become bitter and angry at the world. I might be bitter and maybe even alittle angry st the people who didnt treat me the way i wanted to (kd etc). I dont have the intention to hurt innocent people. However im afraid that like so many others who have spent time alone i might develop this intention at some point. If i do end up hurting someone i just want to apologize here. Hopefully i rememeber to show you this at the time.

Im currently regulating my behaviour/actions through brute force and not really acting on feelings. 

If i remember to show you this in the future, i hope you understnad the events that took place beforehand leading upto what happened.  I wish you had met me now. When i had made a promise to be loving. We might have been friends and you might have been able to stop me from doing what ever i was going to do.

 

If you doubt whether i tried to be loving please ask my parents/ siblings or bosses/ teachers how i acted after leaving school.

I gurantee you theyll tell you that i never got angry(even if someone insulted me), was the first to greet everyone with a smile, wished everyone on their birthdays, was polite, and always told the truth.

The problem is i currently dont know if i have decided to try to be loving because of empathy or if im using brute force to go against my selfish nature because i know its right.

Ive been so alone for so long i cant really tell. 

Please also take into account that ive never had a intimate relationship, even held hands or even spoken with someone of the opposite sex for the matter.

Please think about that for a second. Someone whos main desire in life was to have an intimate relationship has never even SPOKEN to someone of the opposite sex. How many people do you know like that?

I just want you to know that i really tried to be loving (ask my parents/siblings/bosses/co workers) if you disagree.   The only things that i can see causing me to harm someone are prolonged loneliness (its already been 2 years) or others treating me in a way that resembles TOBY AND MICHAELS RELATIONSHIP from the office.

If you see this i hope you can now get some idea to what led me to causing you harm. Im extremely sorry. If you had met me now i promise you would have thought i was warm and loving. But prolonged loneliness and thd MICHAEL TOBIES FROM THE OFFICR has led me to become something else it seems.  Im very very sorry about what ever ive done. Please look into my childhood/life and i think you will not find it enviable and will understand what caused me to become what i have.   Im so afraid of hurting you that im not even going to consider other possibile tracks anymore.

I know theres no excuse for hurting someone but i hope this will atleast dampen whatever pain ive caused because youll be able to see that this is not the normal human perogative but a once loving mind or atleast a mind that tried to be lovinv but was twisted by loneliness , michael tobiness. And i hope my actions dont make you lose hope in humanity

Again im deeply sorry for whatevet ive done. Please ask my parents,siblings etc for proof i was once loving. Ive even comeup with a way of acting happy so that i dont concern them or make them look bad in public. Im sorry this had to happen to you

[8gates]

I know the above is messy and my mind is all over the place but im in alot of discomfort right now. Hopefully itll be readable to you. Right now each momenf is throbbing mental pain.

I would also like to point out the appeal of acting selfishly and unlovingly. Examples - andrew tate and jordan belfort

These two men imo are 2 men who have acted selfishly yet now have everything ive ever wanted. They have thousands of people praising them/ being affectionate, friends,admiration and adoration from the opposite sex while i havent even haD ONE CONVERSATION with a member of the opposite sex in ALL MY LIFE. Its painful having to see how much women love them.

Take justin beiber, j waller, josh richards, vinnie hacker,jake logan paul, chris brown etc for example. All of these people have admitted to cheating and chris brown has even beaten rihanna and yet they all get so much affection. And im here trying /brute forcing love all alone with no affection and no attention.i dont know how long ill last having to see things like that. Everytime i look up mh friends social media profiles i see them with lovinv friends and im here all alone. I know this is no excuse but i hope atleast now youll see where im coming from

I mean no offence but if dont know whats its like to spend 2+  years without any friends/companions and a lifetime without intimacy , can you really say , with 100 percent certainty you wouldnt have gone insane / become illogical, irrational, bitter , impulsive and hurt somebody? 

Im really not trying to justify my actions here. Please feel free to torture me jn anywish for what i have done.

The goal of this post is to hopefully erase any hatred towards me that you have in your heart because it might convince you that i had no choice but to become the violent thing that i have due to the circumstances (ie - i had no free will)

Btw when you talk to my school mates rememeber to ask about the lunchbreak and how i woulf frequently buy others things in hopes they would be my friend.isnt this furthet proof of how much i desired connection?i have other stories like this as well but i cant waste anh more time mentally masturbating. Please do a thorough investigation into my life though. I think as you find more and more you start to understand how i became what i became. 

Edited June 29, 2022 by 8gates

[8gates]

Last point- remember how i said i was really trying to be loving? What i mean by that is ive written up a list of rules/ways of acting that must be followed at all times.

One example is im never allowed to show signs of anger/ displeasure incase this hurts someone. If you ask someone who knows me i promise you theyll telk yoh yhat after leaving school i never got angry.

I also another long list of rules with the goal of making me SEEM more loving and warm.

Why SEEM and not actually be loving?

Incase people treat me the way MICHAEL TREATED TOBY and im unable to control my emotions. Also im afraid prolonged loneliness mjght make me lose touch with things like empathy.

Im hoping that by acting loving and as warm as i can someday ill be able to connect with people and find a warm group of friends who will also show me some affection. Then maybe ill heal and ill be able to genuinely love others without having to force my self.instead of having to force myself to not get angry, i just wont get angry out of love.

I promise you that if you ask anyone who knows me theyll tell you i tried to be loving. Please be sure to ask them about my actions in depth. Keep in mind if it is the case that im ugly, actions that i did with the aim of being loving might have been interpreted as something else. Im not an expert on human behaviour but i tried my best to be like what i thought others wanted to see in a friend. I hope one day i can show you all my rules. Please know i tried friend. But dont take my word for it. Ask my coworkers , family and people from school. 

Theyll tell you how i was someone who never missed to wish them on their birthday.  Probe alittle more and youll find they arent too sure if they wished me.   This is just a little part of my life that shows you what kind of life i lived.      Btw -on my 21 st birthday this year ,nobody except close family wished me. Think about that alittle. While others 21sts are supposed to be a major event, nobody from outside my family wished me. How would that make ylu feel? Have ylu ever experienced someting similar?

If you probe youll find how hard i tried to find a connection but couldnt. Another thing that has constantly been on my mind lately is the possibilty that ill die without ever having an intimate relationship. Imagine the mental turmoil of never being able to hug someone, make someone laugh, talk and share secrets all night while your significant other giggles and is happy. Especially for someone whos only goal in life is that.i dont want credit or praise and whatever jve done is inexvusable and is deserving of severe punishment until you think justice is served.

but i just want to point out that in the midst of this mental ache, hopelessness,being alone without any friends for 2+ years , today at this time i made a descision to be loving. I dont know if youll ever see this or if ill ever show this to you.

Again im deeply sorry. Its time i got on with my loving path now. I promise to work hard and to keep the spreading of suffering at bay for as long as i can. Not to toot my horn but i personally dont know anyone who has taken up a challenge like mine. Even david goggins had friends/ gf etc. I have to push all alone. For who knows how long?  I hope one day i find friendship and companionship and no longer have to force love.i hope someone out there accepts me into their circle. I dont believe in a personel god but if a god does exist i have only

1)if you can see into the future and know im going to harm some one please take my life away today before i do

And if you dont take away my life

2)if therer are other rules to follow that will make me reduce others suffering/ make me seem/be more loving please make them known to me. 

3) please let my actions lead to a warm affectionate connection with someone. 

I mean no offence by saying i dont believe. Its just that im not convinced at the moment

×××EDIT- if your wondering why although desperate for a relationship i never asked anyone out ,its because i always want to leave the possibilty of suicide open ie-after my parents death.  If i do so i have zero chance of hurting anyone else right? As ive stated before the reason why i dont commit suicide now is because it will cause suffering to my family as jp said. Not nececerilly becUse theh love me but due to social backlash and things like thag as well.

I dont want to ask someone out ajd then leave them high and dry. Instead my gameplan is to act as  loving and be as warm as i can. And if that ends up being attractige someone hopefully shell make the first move.

Again -i dont want to make the first move and postpone my life.just being alive causes harm to animals(even vegans during crop production) and beinh culpable in exploitinh workers who work in factories etc. Unless im absolutely lovable i dont want want to live for long and cause harm. But at the same time i must admit i hope someone is attracted to me and i get to xp what its like to cuddle,hug,kiss, laugh together, have sex,make her feel good and all that. I guese if you have alot of friends/people who get pleasure by you being alive and want to be next to you their is a chance the pleasure you give to them outweigjs the harm causes to animals/ factory workers right? Thats my line of thinking 

Anyway

Goodbye and all the best to myself. I hope i never do so much harm that ill have to show this to someone.    

But who can gurantee anything right?   Look up charles whitman.he was a decent man who due to a brain tumor which he wasnt responsible for became a murderer. The same thing might happen to me right? I hope it doesnt. My chosen path is clear now and i have to go and follow it

--may all beings be well and happy

????????????????????????????????❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤???????????????

And agains,please please please remeber that i tried to walk the loving path. Remember to ask family, coworkers ,people from school thanks. You dont need to take my word for it

Edited June 29, 2022 by 8gates

[8gates]

In reality ps are not going to allow gking to uk just for club gs.(20 mill+) 

Ps/z are probably going to recommend 8gates s10mins.

So that leaves 2 options

1)loving path

2)s10 mins

Something better than nothinh right?