Confused

[Ade]

I had a nose job and I’m not proud of that, I have not told to any of my partners about it, some friends have asked me if I had an operation and I said that I didn’t. I feel rejected of saying that because it’s really obvious that I’m operated so it would have been better if I told the truth, I think that I should say the truth but I have already lied so it’s difficult to me to say it, I no longer want to anyone who knew me after, to see me because I don’t feel secure about myself since I got the surgery, I’m no longer as I was and now and I care a lot about what the others think until I try not to, because also the fact that I got the surgery was because I cared about what the others and now my nose it’s a representation of my insecurities

Edited February 12, 2016 by Ade

[DizIzMikey]

What do you need? 

[Kelley White]

2 hours ago, Ade said:

I had a nose job and I’m not proud of that, I have not told to any of my partners about it, some friends have asked me if I had an operation and I said that I didn’t. I feel rejected of saying that because it’s really obvious that I’m operated so it would have been better if I told the truth, I think that I should say the truth but I have already lied so it’s difficult to me to say it, I no longer want to anyone who knew me after, to see me because I don’t feel secure about myself since I got the surgery, I’m no longer as I was and now and I care a lot about what the others think until I try not to, because also the fact that I got the surgery was because I cared about what the others and now my nose it’s a representation of my insecurities

Hi @Ade, Nice to meet you.  Very brave of you to share this, it had to have been hard to write.   Its a really good step.  I'm so happy you are here and trusted us to share this with us.  Thank you.  I regret you are struggling right now. 

If you don't mind me asking you, what makes you not proud about having gotten a nose job?  I've never had one, so I know nothing about them.

I don't know your friends, but if your friends really like you for who you are?  You are not your nose?  You are your "knows," your personality your essence.  

I don't mean to diminish your feelings; its scary to take responsibility for things we've done.  I can appreciate your fears.

I have lots of scary things I have to take responsibility for.   A couple of weeks ago?  I made a very public mistake and I had to write a letter and take 100% responsibility for my actions.  It was a hard letter to write.  But I knew it was the right thing for me to do if I was going to be okay with me inside.   Funny thing about that?   Once it was done, I could let it go.  I've also observed that quite often it ends up better than I feared.  Quite often, I gain people's respect for having the courage. 

If you have good friends?  They will love you and forgive you and support you, no matter what your nose looks like.

As far as how you feel about you?  You say your nose is representative of your insecurities.  What insecurities does your nose represent for you?

 

[DanoDMano]

3 hours ago, Ade said:

I had a nose job and I’m not proud of that, I have not told to any of my partners about it, some friends have asked me if I had an operation and I said that I didn’t. I feel rejected of saying that because it’s really obvious that I’m operated so it would have been better if I told the truth, I think that I should say the truth but I have already lied so it’s difficult to me to say it, I no longer want to anyone who knew me after, to see me because I don’t feel secure about myself since I got the surgery, I’m no longer as I was and now and I care a lot about what the others think until I try not to, because also the fact that I got the surgery was because I cared about what the others and now my nose it’s a representation of my insecurities

@Ade The truth will set you free. It's just not a saying. Once you've released that burden, you'll come to realize you worried more than you had to. Your true friends will forgive you and comfort you in your decision. Your false friends will not and you'll read them like a book. Then knowing your real friends is easy. Keep your true friends and drop the false ones. Then whole experience will actually become a positive in your life. Just my opinion, but think truth because it never lies. Good luck in your journey.   

[xXxXx]

Really who cares about it, it is your choice, i think you overestimate the reaction of the people. Gossiping will always be there, with or without your nose job, if you lie about it you get in a situation which will put pressure on you, for no reason.

Let the people talk, because they always will, you can not control this. Your self-image hinders you to accept this, telling you to be like this or like that.

[Ade]

Thank you, your suggestions really helped me

[Kelley White]

@Ade you are very welcome.  I am happy we could offer something that helped.  I wish you a positive week this week moving forward.

[Rito]

Hi Ade,

             I can feel what you are going through.It's your nose.What you do with it is entirely your business and you have to answer for it to nobody.You can deny or tell the truth doesn't really matter.You were not comfortable with your nose so you did it.Period.It's like your feeling guilty about it.Shed the guilt.Don't complicate it any more than it needs to be.It is only feeling this way because you haven't still adjusted to life after the operation.

I understand what you are feeling and that is perfectly natural,but you have to get over it.

What people are thinking about you doesn't matter whether they are talking about it -don't give a fuck about that.It's your nose,your life.As you descend to their level and engage in such low consciousness stuff,your life is ebbing away.

These people you mix with now,they will be nowhere in your life 5 years from now.Stop taking it so seriously and personally.

And maybe you should devote your energy to the non-physical attributes of life too,as these will play a serious role in the years to come.

Cheers,

Rito.

 

[Ade]

@Rito Wow thanks

[DizIzMikey]

A lot of famous people get nose jobs too, they got the whole world on their ass...so hope this makes you feel better maybe to think you don't have it that bad, and if all is one...than every part of you that you have on yourself is real, nothing is fake, because all is a part of you.