On not being enough

[michaelcycle00]

Does any other dude out there feel like this? I may have low self-esteem (well, not exactly, but I'm weird like that) in regards to socialization and how others perceive me, but also I almost always look at things objectively, and the "dating game" doesn't seem natural to me, doesn't seem genuine. As in being an act of pure love. 

I feel like the kind of man women want/are looking for is just so different from me. Like I don't deserve to be loved by someone else because there are much better options out there. I feel exactly like if any girl was interested in me romantically they'd pretty much be settling because they don't think they can get something better, and I don't want anyone to "settle" with me, so I decided to avoid dating/romanticism or anything of the sort (I rather this over being settled with). Objectively speaking, I'm pretty sure this is the case.

I'm not Caucasian, so as you can imagine I'm not conventionally attractive. I'm 1.82m tall, just a cm shy of 6 foot so I got that going for me (also, since I'm a Mexican, that's like being 6'1" in the U.S.). I was also diagnosed as intellectually gifted when I was a little boy (started talking when I was 8 months old, which prompted my parents into being evaluated in regards to that, also that I was called "the baby who speaks like an adult, despite being slightly over a year old... yeah no kidding). I think personality-wise I have a pretty fun and caring one, the thing is I'm extremely introverted so there's rarely anyone who sees it shine in full splendor. Added to that is the fact that despite being 22 years old, I look like I'm 15-16 (every stranger guesses me at that, I always ask) because my face sorta hasn't really matured into an adult-like one (baby face) and I inherited the skinniest genes in the world. Literally. I have skinnier arms than Timothée Chalamet. I've exercised at the gym for months on end and eaten a lot with it too and they don't get any bigger. My metabolism is too fast I suppose, but I do have thin bones.

Now, this is a bit controversial and I don't mean to offend anyone with what I'm about to say. I usually am attracted to girls of fair skin with brown hair. I don't consciously choose who I'm attracted to, I just am. And I would say that that is my type, although blondes don't fall that far behind. The thing is, I'm light brown myself. And, I, biologically speaking, could say that I feel inferior to them. To any decent-looking white girl that is. Think about it, literally every race, in general (male-wise), is more attracted to white women than any other type/race. This is a fact. I think it's safe to conclude that they are better partners evolutionary speaking. 

Sure I could play hot-shit and act like I'm unbothered by pretty women and seduce them or whatever but I feel this isn't ethical. At least online, they all like to tell guys the standards they hold for themselves and want in their partner. You know, the usual around girls under 30 years of age: blonde, 6ft2+, straight hair, perfectly symmetrical face, light eyes, big pockets, muscular, brave, can fight, confident, etc. Hard not to feel some sort of insecurity when you don't match even half of what they expect. Knowing this (and oh boy do I know about it), how am I supposed to act on my impulses of wanting a girlfriend and approaching girls I like when they're all actually craving much better options than what I could offer them. Which is to say on the outside of course, because I can definitely put up a good fight if the inside counted, to say something.

A few weeks ago I went to San Francisco with my family for vacation, we spent a few days there. Saw a lot of beautiful women. Also saw a good amount of them with the classic chad-like dude. Seeing stuff like that made me think that I should just not even consider shooting my shot. Women like them being with a guy like me seem like I would be robbing them of their biological and social superiority. Of their potential. Every time I get a pretty girl who is constantly looking at me for seconds on end, which happens an awful lot (could I be that repulsive?), not just with pretty girls but any girl (and even dudes, everyone really), I always turn the other way and start getting annoyed. I can't fucking stand it... seriously, what the fuck are y'all looking at? No matter where I go, everyone around me makes sure I feel like the center of the Universe, but not in a good way. It's like my awkward vibe is felt by the entire room because a whole group of people can be on their shit but as soon as I'm near, say sitting on a table, they can't help but constantly be looking at me. I don't utter a word, I don't look at them, I try to stand straight. I can be focused on my shit, and as soon as I turn my head there are eyes on me. I don't even have to look at these people directly to tell that they're looking at me. Seriously, it's like these weirdos have never seen a skinny, young-looking guy on his phone? Anyway, as I was saying about girls who are considered high "SMV", maybe I actually just do not deserve them for being born as who and what I am and it is what it is. I just wish I could then choose who I'm attracted to, so it wouldn't be so painful. And I wouldn't have to cope by being utterly lonely. 

 

PD. I'm not trying to seem or sound like an incel, nor am I trying to blame women for my issues. If my wording or point of view shocks you, I present to you what the mind of a very rational and logic-bound individual is like. 

 

Edited May 4, 2022 by michaelcycle00

[Leo Gura]

Dude, this is some grade A bullshit. These are all limiting beliefs, nothing more.

Go out and talk to girls. Hot girls will get attracted to you.

#1 rule of game: Stop believing your lying mind.

Quote

Think about it, literally every race, in general (male-wise), is more attracted to white women than any other type/race. This is a fact.

This is not a fact at all but some bullshit you invented. I can be more attracted to Asian girls than white girls. And so are plenty of my wings. There are hot girls of every race.

[Hardkill]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Dude, this is some grade A bullshit. These are all limiting beliefs, nothing more.

Go out and talk to girls. Hot girls will get attracted to you.

#1 rule of game: Stop believing your lying mind.

This is not a fact at all but some bullshit you invented. I can be more attracted to Asian girls than white girls. And so are plenty of my wings. There are hot girls of every race.

Maybe he has been living under a rock his whole life and has never even heard of some of the most beautiful and sexiest women in the world who are either black, Latina, or Asian such as Halle Berry, Tyra Banks, Jlo, Lucy Lui, Priyanka Chopra, and many more like them that exist around the whole world. 

Can’t forget all of those super hot Brazilian babes of different skin colors out there too.

How about all of sexiest and most attractive looking black, Asian, Latina, Brazilian, and middle eastern pornstars? I am a white guy and I consider the pornstar Nyomi Banxxx (in her prime) to be one the most gorgeous and sexiest women to have ever existed.

Edited May 4, 2022 by Hardkill

[michaelcycle00]

@Leo Gura Leo, did you read all of it? Forget about the who's attracted to who more part. I read that from what I think was an article regarding what type of women were the most desired on porn sites. On dating sites, it's Asian women, yeah. 

Anyway, that wasn't the point. And how is biology a limiting belief? Really, do you not think women would be better off with a good-looking white male, than some skinny, weird-looking Mexican or say a black man? Not even black women are too fond of black men nowadays because of the whole hood mentality that keeps creating single mothers. 

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

And how is biology a limiting belief? Really, do you not think women would be better off with a good-looking white male, than some skinny, weird-looking Mexican or say a black man? Not even black women are too fond of black men nowadays because of the whole hood mentality that keeps creating single mothers.

None of this is biology. This is just some limiting bullshit narrative your mind concocted because you are insecure.

I know a 5'4" black dude who's my wing in Vegas who gets threesomes and white girls sucking his dick in the bathroom within 20 minutes of meeting him.

My other wing is Mexican and he gets laid no problem.

[michaelcycle00]

6 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Maybe he has become living under a rock his whole and never heard some of the most beautiful and sexiest women in the world who are either black, Latina, or Asian such as Halle Berry, Tyra Banks, Jlo, Lucy Lui, Priyanka Chopra, and many more like them that exist around the whole world.

Halle Berry is literally half white. Tyra Banks is also part British and Native American, but I will agree she is stunning. Jlo, is also part white. But anyway, all the others you mentioned are also in part white or exceptions to the norm. The general rule of thumb for women is that the fairer the skin the better.

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

The general rule of thumb for women is that the fairer the skin the better.

You fundamentally misunderstand female attraction. Go learn game theory.

[michaelcycle00]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

None of this is biology. This is just some limiting bullshit narrative your mind concocted because you are insecure.

Well, I'm not sure. 

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I know a 5'4" black dude who's my wing in Vegas who gets threesomes and white girls sucking his dick in the bathroom within 20 minutes of meeting him.

But how ethical is this man? How can I respect women and also game them? There's no middle ground there. I don't wanna be a bad person, or in this case, opportunistic. How am I supposed to find peace there?

You probably wouldn't like your sister (assuming you had one) involved in a threesome with that 5'4" black dude. 

[Leo Gura]

7 minutes ago, michaelcycle00 said:

But how ethical is this man? How can I respect women and also game them? There's no middle ground there. I don't wanna be a bad person, or in this case, opportunistic. How am I supposed to find peace there?

You probably wouldn't like your sister (assuming you had one) involved in a threesome with that 5'4" black dude. 

Lol

If I had a sister I wouldn't want her opening her legs for you because you're so damn insecure you don't deserve a woman.

Women want strong secure men. You disrespect women by being an insecure pussy.

You find peace by transforming yourself into a strong man who's dick women are eager to suck.

7 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura do you plan to make an in-depth video about limiting beliefs sometime in the future?

Talked about in my LP Course.

[MarkKol]

5 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

I've exercised at the gym for months on end and eaten a lot with it too and they don't get any bigger.

Maybe you're from facebook's metaverse because that's physically impossible, just eat more... you're also tall? So whats the problem? You're being silly 

 

Leo: I'm God 

God: 

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You find peace by transforming yourself into a strong man who's dick women are eager to suck

Damn god, you pretty sus 

 

?

[Ulax]

I'd listen to the audiobook 'greater than the sum of our parts' by dick Schwartz

[Frosty97]

@Leo Gura Leo, how does one be secure with them selves?

And is being grounded related to being secure within one self and others?

 

[Karmadhi]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I know a 5'4" black dude who's my wing in Vegas who gets threesomes and white girls sucking his dick in the bathroom within 20 minutes of meeting him.

My other wing is Mexican and he gets laid no problem.

I have noticed you always use nightclubs as examples. With drunk girls things are quite different. I know a girl that made out with a guy in a club that she found very ugly because she was drunk as fuck. It would never happen in a sober setting. Do these guys you mentioned get equal results during the day or through social circle? So in places where girls are sober?

Edited May 4, 2022 by Karmadhi

[_Archangel_]

@michaelcycle00

 

[Tudo]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I can be more attracted to Asian girls than white girls. And so are plenty of my wings. 

Me too, asian girls are sooo sexy 

If I could choose a girl from any race, It would probably be an asian girl.

Edited May 4, 2022 by Tudo

[Leech]

On 5/4/2022 at 3:32 AM, Leo Gura said:

 

Women want strong secure men. You disrespect women by being an insecure pussy.

You find peace by transforming yourself into a strong man who's dick women are eager to suck.

This is going on my wall. 

[Jacob Morres]

Check out Noah Elkrief, he has a lot of stuff on healing , self esteem and inner child work

[RMQualtrough]

All so antithetical to the "mysticism" many on this same forum have experienced in some way. We ride a wave of unfolding reality.

Something can only be regretted if you believe you are manipulating the unfolding, and you can only wish to be something "better" (on a truly deep level) if you think the unfolding is your own doing.

Something can only not be "enough" if there is something to compare it against... Even a person who feels they are not enough is, as such, ironically enough. Because there isn't anything else against which the thing can be compared. Living a full life with low self esteem and anxiety, you are still enough. And being skinny, fat, ugly, obese, permavirgin, playboy, rich, poor, good, evil, shy, confident, still enough.

I do think it's a good thing to realize, and you can relieve some of the anxious thoughts as you attempt to improve yourself, by understanding everything is going as it will. And then these thoughts might stop bothering you...