I need advise on a college relationship

[Noahsteelers34]

I have been seeing this girl for the past 4 months. She sleeps over in my dorm at least twice a week, I hang out with her almost every day and we have gotten super close. We are not officially dating, but by every standard of what dating is, we are. 

The issue is that we leave for summer break in 4 days. This means I will not see her for 4 months. Our initial plan was to just let it die out over these 4 months, but now she said “we’ll see how we feel after summer break”. My fear is if we don't talk over the summer, we will just naturally grow apart and it will die out. The other option is we continue to talk through the summer.

 

It is at the point where it either goes forward or it ends. Either we end up dating next school year, or we completely cut things off. The problem is we are both inexperienced, and she says “she is curious what other guys are like”. I think we both just have this fear of missing out. 

 

 Part of me would we could just have a sort of open relationship, but I can be a jealous person, and the thought of her with another guy does not sit well with me. This is why I cannot continue seeing her unless we are exclusive unless I get over my jealousy. 

 

I really do like this girl. She is pretty, intelligent, and sweet and  I have never had a girlfriend before and I want to experience that. At the same time, we both know we aren’t going to marry each other. 

 

Part of me wants to continue my approaching journey, and talk to the girls who I never thought I could, but at the same time I feel lucky to have found this girl. I feel like it won't be so easy to find another girl who is as good as her. 

 

Should I say fuck it and date this girl, should I completely end it, should I do this weird ambiguous in between where we arent bf and gf but still seeing each other? Any thought are helpful.

 

[egoeimai]

Hey,

Its not like we meet a person and next step is marriage. See what happens in the long run. You want a relationship with her but you're afraid of losing her. Do you ever believe in "meant to be?" thingy? It goes like this, If you're super matchy matchy you're not going to forget each other or move on with another. Don't stress about it, if it's unique it'll stay. Just have fun and don't ruin it.

[something_else]

In the long run you'll probably regret not exploring more. My biggest regret is being in a relationship throughout college/uni, I missed out on a lot by taking that route

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the relationship too. But I definitely missed out

[meta_male]

The thing is you can make up your mind about what you want in terms of dating this girl, but if she's up for it after summer break is out of your control. It sounds like she wants to keep her options open.

For now, I'd just agree to see how you both feel after summer break and when she reaches out to you keep it casual and fun. If you decide you're in for a relationship with this girl, don't bring it up, let her initiate this conversation. But don't wait around for her, it will make you look like you lack options, which is unattractive and will guarantee you ending up feeling miserable.

And don't forget to listen to your gut. Good luck, man!

 

[Leo Gura]

If you like her, be serious about it, go deep with it. You are young enough that you will have plenty of time left to explore.

You are being too meek with her. When you like a girl, you have to claim her. You are not leading the relationship properly, which is why she's uncertain and looking around for other guys. Do you want to own her pussy or not? It comes down to that.

[Noahsteelers34]

@Leo Gura on the one hand I want to date her, but the idea of committing to something gives me cold feet

Edited May 3, 2022 by Noahsteelers34

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

@Leo Gura on the one hand I want to date her, but the idea of committing to something gives me cold feet

Yeah, well, tough shit. Commitment phobia is something you're gonna have to confront if you want healthy relations with girls.

You think relationships are gonna be easy? Commitment is just one of the many challenges that you'll have to face.

The point of dating/game is to find a girl you're willing to commit to. And that's not going to be easy even with a right girl. It's a conscious sacrifice. You're never going to get the perfect girl, so you're gonna have to settle with one who's good enough.

[Bando]

@Noahsteelers34 Treat this as a growing experience your a freshman if I remember from a previous post, try out the relationship angle, you learn a lot about yourself, both the good and negatives when in a relationship.

Enjoy the experience, worst case scenario things go left and you still have 2+ years left of college to date around