Emotional Self Awareness (OPEN) - My journey and wisdom

[ll Ontology ll]

So I’ve decided to dedicated myself to this area because I know I’ve approached this subject in mainly only a cognitive way to date.

I also don’t want to do the journal and that’s another reason why I have to do it because the very reason why I don’t want to do it is purely emotional, a blocker to emotional growth that I realise I still need to pair with my cognitive growth in self awareness.

I know this is an important subject to many here as well so I feel it has the potential to be of great benefit to others so it’s for this reason as well that I will enjoy the pleasure of doing diligence to this subject.

All the best and genuinely looking forward to what’s created here.

Edited May 2, 2022 by ll Ontology ll

[ll Ontology ll]

Introduction:

(just typed quickly on iPhone)

The world of the felt experience is our energetic lucidity with the sublime of presence, unity and connection. Disturb this world and we are by corresponding degrees out of presence, unity and connection. 

It is arguably our closest relationship with the true self, the inner indivisible personality that is not subject to change, corruption or distortion. It is our closest relationship with its influence on our psychology, thus to the level that we are cut off from our true vine, our psychology will by those same talked about corresponding degrees will experience chaos, absorption and ostracising of both our true self and our connection with other beings at the deepest level.

“Love” is often related to our human experience in an emotional sense, though it has deeper relationships with our being than being merely our experience of oxytocin. It is a precursor and nurturer of those first three characteristics through the openness, permeability and flow that is intrinsic to the fluidity marked by the expression of love in its full force in our being. “Hate” conversely, is unsurprisingly to closedness, impermeability and inflexibility with a self-imposive quality that is inversely related to love in that love is self-explosive relative to the self-efficacious expansion of being. The dichotomy of these two will reflect a gateway to understanding the full spectrum of being from an emotional sense and in combination, bringing focus to how we can both enhance and use our awareness to use the growth that we build in our understanding here to advance our overall state of being. 

Emotions are the knots, lenses and filters of and to the cognitive, the cognitive only has a positive change relationship to the emotions in the form of using whatever emotions we have stored in certain associations to change our focus rather than having an intrinsically positive influence. This means that emotional self understanding has a more powerful influence on our state of being than our cognitive self awareness, though this after we have the necessary cognition that enables us to use both focus and discernment in that understanding directed to our emotions, so in part, our cognition still of course has an indirect added benefit to enhancing the state of our emotional self awareness.

In our state of presence, unity and connection our emotional self awareness is now the gateway to our empathy and through our empathy the building of and the maintaining of our relationships with others to the level that we have achieved stated integrity. To its inverse, our lack of personal integrity is to the chaos of our relationships and subsequent lack of integrity that would be the glue that holds our parts together to maintain whole perspectives of ourselves and in doing so, our ability to hold whole perspectives of others and our bonds with them. Emotional self awareness is the order to our energy body and in combination with the order of our cognitive self awareness we have the keys to ordering our entire being to the level that we can translate our ignorance to knowledge and our knowledge to wisdom.

This concludes the end of the introduction, looking forward to what good can be created here.

Edited May 2, 2022 by ll Ontology ll

[ll Ontology ll]

 

 

 

 

This is an open journal.

 

Emotional self awareness is the container of love > love is the container to openness > openness is the container to cognitive self awareness > and cognitive self awareness is the container to differentiation that takes me to truth. 

 

 

There can be no true courage in the absence of the love towards truth

and the loving reason to be so courageous as for the act to also be heroic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by ll Ontology ll

[ll Ontology ll]

@Aleister Crowleyy

19 minutes ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

Try to refrain from making assumptions. Hitting the cushion every now and then will be far more beneficial, writing is a distraction.

To be beneficial to this journal:

1. When you make a claim, site it
2. When you use a claim to buffer your next statement, make sure you're not doing the thing that you're claiming
3. If you can neither add anything cognitively or emotionally beneficial here, move on.

[ll Ontology ll]

 

Communication with Aleister has now ceased due to a lack of authenticity and general integrity to that note.

Any questions by him can be asked by others however.

Aleister is free to comment on this journal, including the creation of humour to make people laugh as he pleases including anyone else, what changes is merely who is responded and who is not responded to based on their behaviour in this journal, aka the level to which they can be taken seriously.

I have nothing to conceal, protect or hide from, any one can say what they like outside the scope of this post.

Below are the described terms that Aleister has to now pass in order to be taken seriously by me anymore.

I will have no one poke fun at Aleister on my journal in any way shape or form nor will I allow any gossip about him to me in any way shape or form, if there is, I will simply begin to question your own integrity.

Thank you, this journal is about emotional self awareness and because of this, becoming aware of, integrating, learning from and ultimately transforming all experienced state within to a higher level of development.

 

 

 

[ll Ontology ll]

@Preety_India

I have already stated to Aleister that he is free to comment as he pleases on my journal.

Please leave, contribute to this journal or unfortunately I'll have to begin questioning why your here at all.

Show respect to everyone in this journal please, as I have stated. Read my words carefully to show respect if that's what you're trying to do here.

Here they are again:

14 minutes ago, ll Ontology ll said:

 

Communication with Aleister has now ceased due to a lack of authenticity and general integrity to that note.

Any questions by him can be asked by others however.

Aleister is free to comment on this journal, including the creation of humour to make people laugh as he pleases including anyone else, what changes is merely who is responded and who is not responded to based on their behaviour in this journal, aka the level to which they can be taken seriously.

I have nothing to conceal, protect or hide from, any one can say what they like outside the scope of this post.

Below are the described terms that Aleister has to now pass in order to be taken seriously by me anymore.

I will have no one poke fun at Aleister on my journal in any way shape or form nor will I allow any gossip about him to me in any way shape or form, if there is, I will simply begin to question your own integrity.

Thank you, this journal is about emotional self awareness and because of this, becoming aware of, integrating, learning from and ultimately transforming all experienced state within to a higher level of development.

 

[ SEE PICTURE ABOVE --- HAS BEEN DELETED IN THIS QUOTED TEXT ]

 

 

[Preety_India]

@ll Ontology ll OK fine whatever. Don't talk to me ever again. 

Bye. 

 

[ll Ontology ll]

Just now, Preety_India said:

@ll Ontology ll OK fine whatever. Don't talk to me ever again. 

Bye. 

 

Thank you, appreciated. You're free to do as you wish.

Best.

[ll Ontology ll]

 

DISCLAIMER:

 

I will be defending no one nor otherwise in this journal that is not congruent with the sole purpose of this journal.

You're all free to do as you wish, mostly.

Only those that I take as genuine and sincere will be respectfully responded to, otherwise you're free to say what you like about me, anyone else here and any other aspect of life as long as it does not take away from this journal in any way and so long as your words do not try to, in any way shape or form damage or purposefully control another persons behaviour here in this journal in any way that I deem unethical relative to terms I have so far stated.

You're free to say what you like about me regardless as well, any information you provide to me only aids my discernment for future reflections as they are needed in all matters in life.

 

 

Thank you and all the best.

 

 

 

 

[ll Ontology ll]

 

To briefly discriminate in relation to how I will be personally moving forward here.

• I am not here to intellectually perform for anyone here, I am here to share and discuss, philosophical and psychological terminology or any other scientific (i.e. hypothesis) and spiritual terminology will only be used if necessary and otherwise avoided for the laymen reader
• Discriminations will be made between the following:

1. Personal theory and personal sentiment
2. Others personal theories and sentiments
3. The validity of one and two where it is relevant to provide elaboration 

• What will be done with all contributions here no matter the contribution?
  • Everything will be correlated and creatively synthesised to aid where it is beneficial to do so to my ongoing understanding and development of ideas expressed in this journal and otherwise.
     
• How do I want you to interpret my words here?
  • As freely as you wish
     
• Am I trying to brainwash anyone on the forum here (just in case)?
  • No.

 

 

 

What have I learned today about emotional self awareness?

Personal sentiments to personal theory: self-experimentally validated only:

• Based on my self observation of awareness and the movement (i.e. shifting) of awareness following the concentration on certain aspects of my body I have realised that awareness most definitely has a kinaesthetic property much likened to understanding that in order to develop our physical dexterity we must use our body in skilled ways the same can be said about awareness, not only this, our awareness can be more or less focused in certain areas within the body, including too, located within the body. 
• My hypothesis based on the above is that this plays a very large part in personality expression as the positioning of awareness within the body impacts emotional regulation, social cognition and responsivity and where the energies of psyche are dedicated from and to.
• Based on my experiences so far relative to my present personal understanding of intrinsic personality, to the extent that our awareness is located within the centre of our body which is where I believe intrinsic personality truly lives, a person will be more impervious to cultural influences, social conditioning, addictions, psychological manipulation including negative psychological self manipulation like self-gaslighting, thus all in all they will be impervious to brainwashing of sorts which arises as a consequence of not only "being out of touch" with our bodies as some may put it, but actually not having a certain presence of awareness that is located within the centre of our body which is representative of intrinsic self. 
• After awareness has developed within intrinsic, a natural relationship between intrinsic self and the silent consciousness that awaits can begin to unfold. Now a link has begun to be established between the two, this is the beginning of the fluid combination of both emotional and cognitive awareness being able to be employed simultaneously on our experience of reality, aka all that we know of concerning experience and all perceptions we have therein.
   
• Based on these sentiments what can be concluded?
  • intrinsic true self exists within being and it cannot be imagined (in the mind to be precise) only felt and experienced 
  • awareness has a distribution process and ability, something that is completely novel to me by the way, that is to say that awareness can be distributed across the body as opposed to simply awareness being located within our head and then being used to instruct certain aspects of our body.
  • The way that awareness is distributed across the body has an undeniable impact on our personality and the level to which intrinsic personality from intrinsic self is expressed
  • placing as much intelligent awareness on intrinsic self within the centre of the body is the gateway to emotional development at our deepest level of vulnerability and subsequent gateway to intelligent awareness of our bodies emotions; to begin with

 

 

[ll Ontology ll]

14 minutes ago, ll Ontology ll said:

 

What have I learned today about emotional self awareness?

Personal sentiments to personal theory: self-experimentally validated only:

• Based on my self observation of awareness and the movement (i.e. shifting) of awareness following the concentration on certain aspects of my body I have realised that awareness most definitely has a kinaesthetic property much likened to understanding that in order to develop our physical dexterity we must use our body in skilled ways the same can be said about awareness, not only this, our awareness can be more or less focused in certain areas within the body, including too, located within the body. 
• My hypothesis based on the above is that this plays a very large part in personality expression as the positioning of awareness within the body impacts emotional regulation, social cognition and responsivity and where the energies of psyche are dedicated from and to.
• Based on my experiences so far relative to my present personal understanding of intrinsic personality, to the extent that our awareness is located within the centre of our body which is where I believe intrinsic personality truly lives, a person will be more impervious to cultural influences, social conditioning, addictions, psychological manipulation including negative psychological self manipulation like self-gaslighting, thus all in all they will be impervious to brainwashing of sorts which arises as a consequence of not only "being out of touch" with our bodies as some may put it, but actually not having a certain presence of awareness that is located within the centre of our body which is representative of intrinsic self. 
• After awareness has developed within intrinsic, a natural relationship between intrinsic self and the silent consciousness that awaits can begin to unfold. Now a link has begun to be established between the two, this is the beginning of the fluid combination of both emotional and cognitive awareness being able to be employed simultaneously on our experience of reality, aka all that we know of concerning experience and all perceptions we have therein.
   
• Based on these sentiments what can be concluded?
  • intrinsic true self exists within being and it cannot be imagined (in the mind to be precise) only felt and experienced 
  • awareness has a distribution process and ability, something that is completely novel to me by the way, that is to say that awareness can be distributed across the body as opposed to simply awareness being located within our head and then being used to instruct certain aspects of our body.
  • The way that awareness is distributed across the body has an undeniable impact on our personality and the level to which intrinsic personality from intrinsic self is expressed
  • placing as much intelligent awareness on intrinsic self within the centre of the body is the gateway to emotional development at our deepest level of vulnerability and subsequent gateway to intelligent awareness of our bodies emotions; to begin with

 

 

• My thoughts are not inflexible of course. Investigation continues. It's a completely new domain for me at present, in all honesty I'm thinking the likelihood that intrinsic self may even be located throughout the body as an evenly distributed awareness, that instead of it being just in the centre of the body rather that is just where I am feeling my awareness so instead, intrinsic self is fully realised after awareness is fully realised across the body and to the extent that this is achieved. Further related hypotheses where it serves.

[ll Ontology ll]

A lot of questions, postulations and hypotheses here are being developed from these insights, insights which will take some time to reach full conclusivity.

For example, I've now for the first time experientially (meaning cognitively I've been aware that others have voiced this possibility) verified that memories and associative memory can even be stored at least in part within the body.

For, after allowing awareness to come more alive within certain areas of my body, new memory associations and freedoms have opened up. To this realisation as well, various bodily movements will therefore aid the opening of awareness in certain areas then if I am correct, two, perhaps certain specific exercises can be developed for the specialised goal of opening awareness in certain, any and all areas within the body.

How did I stumble upon this insight? In my experiences with people, every person that I have developed a personal relationship with has shared their energy body with me through their presence and through their presence they have given off a different "vibe", this vibe I now realise translates into a distribution of awareness within their body and in doing so correlations with the way that energy flows within their being. This "vibe" was no doubt a combination of noted distributed awareness and the felt energy of noted intrinsic personality.

I will not pretend for a moment that I am an expert in this subject, the purpose of this journal is to exercise and achieve mastery; correct attention on my focus, purpose and goals here please to all readers.

 

New size of font. Just to break the ice a little post surgical operation on the divisively medieval porridge. No honey no say (on porridge).

 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by ll Ontology ll

[ll Ontology ll]

 

Raising awareness in the big toe.

 

So I've just now been doing this feedback exercise where I:

1. focus on awareness as calmly and intuitively as (1) possible (2) needed / is the flow

2. focus on an area within my body --- in this case it was my big toe, yeah I know haha

3. play and sing improvisational piano and harmonic voice that was designed to improvise based on the communication aka the feedback between awareness and my big toe

Experience was beautiful.

And yeah... I know.... Haha.

 

I'm learning a lot here about this process and work, sincerely.

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by ll Ontology ll

[ll Ontology ll]

Overall this brings up many interesting questions in relation to the communication between the centres of being.

In every instance based on these observations my awareness is in communication with all aspects of my body or rather as per my new insights the awareness of those parts of my body, parts which are simultaneously in communication with the intrinsic self, that is both separate and intrinsic to distributed awareness as noted above, including to level and quality there.

I have realised, that based on the way that I sound in the following recording, the communication between the various aspects of my awareness within and from my being need to greatly improve far more than I previously realised.

I can't even label the following emotions reflected in this brief piece of music which is like the post just previous but is instead a very short improvisation based on the feedback loop between awareness of consciousness and distributed awareness across the entire body.

I can neither label these emotions nor did I even sense what they were even though at a greater strength of emotion, meaning when I'm actually aware of the emotion itself, of course I can label it, however the fact that I could not label the emotions within this music neither during the improvisation or after when and even now as I listen to it, means that I have deficits in my emotional self awareness that need to greatly improve.

This is a new field of enquiry for me that only in part relates to previous work here done with voice, emotion and vibration if anyone remembers. 

There are likely many different memories emotional and cognitive within the following vocals and music that I presently have no idea how to get to but will grow the awareness to do so with time.

I don't wish to add a whole improv for the purpose of this of course is not to show off.

https://soundcloud.com/private-universe-world/awareness-within-being-across-body

 

 

 

This concludes the journal for now as I have to now dedicate the time and energy to grow my awareness accordingly including the intelligence to describe all of these things very intuitively, if I don't, my intuitions on how this journal can progress aren't going to be nearly as good or reliable. Wisdom.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by ll Ontology ll