Borderline (my story) no commenting on this journal strictly

[Preety_India]

In depth analysis of borderline behavior.. 

 

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS JOURNAL. IT IS MEANT STRICTLY FOR PERSONAL USE. 

DO NOT DISTRESS ME ANYMORE. 

 

Edited May 1, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

So as a borderline life can be a bit tough. 

But I'm happy and I'm not complaining. 

I would rather be borderline than be normal. 

This disease taught me a lot about human emotion and helped me connect with bipolar people 

 

[Preety_India]

Borderline people are generally psycho. It's best to not rattle them. 

They are extremely feral and defensive. 

Their extreme behavior can easily intimidate people. 

Their unique behavior attracts both curiosity and hate. 

Most people experience varying degrees of fear around a borderline. 

 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

The best public examples of borderline behavior are (especially borderline psychopathy) 

 

Jodi Arias 

 

 Elliot  Rodger

 

You'll easily see borderlines simply looking at their eyes especially if they are psychopathic - they have a cold intense dead stare in their eyes. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

This does not mean that every borderline is a criminal. Most of them live in obscurity and do not commit crimes and are extremely sweet and Empathetic generally unless they are triggered. 

Borderlines that become criminal is a rare phenomenon. 

They can show both primary and secondary psychopathy. 

 

[Preety_India]

Examples of cold dead eye stare in borderline psychopathy. They are generally very intense ticking time bombs. 

Elliot Rodger

 

Jodi Arias 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The examples above are the most extreme examples of borderline rage and borderline psychopathy 

 

 

Most borderlines aren't killers. They are just generally defensive, throw a fit and remain mostly distant and push people away. 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

They are generally disliked by most people because of their overly defensive nature and as a result they usually live quiet anonymous lives. 

Borderlines mostly keep to themselves and give out an intimidating energy 

They are secretive and sneaky. They push hard. They can be excellent in their work and very creative 

But they can be destructive around people. 

They usually live in a blur. They cancel out most people in their vision. 

The only people important to them are specific persons of interest. 

They have an unstable self image. 

They can be stalkerish. 

 

[Preety_India]

Most borderlines will actually feel safer around a bipolar person

 

Essentially manic bipolar 

Manic bipolar engages in too much talk, a quality that will be highly desirable to a borderline since they are good listeners. 

 

Borderlines are generally attractive to a narcissist or a manic bipolar because these personalities love to hog attention and a borderline can offer them an abundant supply of attention and adulation. 

If a bipolar looked straight in the eye and showed a finger or pushed a borderline person physically, this will actually seem very attractive to a borderline, because nobody reaches this level of intimacy with them generally. 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

A bipolar enjoys public attention. A borderline enjoys personal attention. 

They are both cards of the same pack, like cousins. 

They are naturally gravitated to each other. 

Borderlines are introverts. 

Bipolar can exhibit extroverted hostility. 

A bipolar will enjoy the quiet sweet nature of a borderline and a borderline will enjoy the extroverted over protective  attentive nature  of a bipolar. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

What kind of a lifestyle is suitable for a borderline? 

 

Since borderlines are triggered and carry a shit ton of extreme defensive energy, a quiet  lifestyle away from people is more suitable for a borderline to cope with their symptoms. 

 

 

It's like borderline is like an allergy response. 

And the allergen is - people 

 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Borderlines are mostly attracted to extroverts. 

Especially Empathetic extroverts. 

Let me check my ex boyfriend list 

 

My first ex boyfriend - 

My second ex boyfriend - 

My third ex boyfriend Joseph - 

My fourth ex boyfriend - 

My fifth boyfriend Jim  - ENFP 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Borderlines are mostly attracted to extroverts. 

 

Especially Empathetic extroverts. 

 

Let me check my ex boyfriend list 

 

 

 

My first ex boyfriend - he was a high extrovert 

 

My second ex boyfriend - very extrovert but still moderate 

 

My third ex boyfriend Joseph - extrovert 

 

My fourth ex boyfriend - ENFP 

 

 

On 9/24/2021 at 0:09 AM, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

https://www.16personalities.com/de/enfp-personlichkeit

Result: ENFP - Personality Type 

 

My fifth and current boyfriend Jim  - ENFP - A

 

It seems I have never dated an introvert guy. All extroverted and mostly ENFP

 

 

 

 

 

I'm INFJ-T 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I should just cut these people out of my life completely. 

It's no use. 

 

[Preety_India]

Hmm. 

The only thing that can cure my relationship is unconditional love. 

My defensiveness affects my relationships

I get defensive because of my trauma. 

The only person who can manage with me is a bipolar 

 

Only they can understand my unsteadiness and chaotic behavior. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm crying right now because I don't know how to explain anything. 

There is so much confusion and chaos in my world. 

For a bipolar everything is external. 

For a borderline everything is internal 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I get defensive and then I use accusatory language and destroy my relationships. 

 

[Preety_India]

The thing with bipolar is that they forget and forgive things and then move on and get back again with their lover. 

This is a significant advantage to a borderline like me 

 

(at this point I'm not even 

 

 

Borderline are heavily autistic people. 

 

[Preety_India]

I have been autistic all my life. It's something I struggle with. 

But it's getting better. 

 

[Preety_India]

I feel like cutting myself. It's awful. 

 

Because nobody truly understands me. Everyone goes by impression and assumptions. 

I feel invalidated and cornered. 

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

A horrible realization is also dawning on me that my brain structure (not brain chemistry) and wiring is horribly entangled and changed due to trauma and this is extremely extremely difficult to change or reset.

 

 

This wiring has automatically made me very vulnerable and susceptible to manipulators and abusers. 

 

Anyone can manipulate me literally anyhow and I wouldn't even realize it.