Am I experiencing of what we call a little spur of “Samadhi”?

[Galyna]

I felt joy without any reason for about an hour today. I had these joy moments before, but it was rear and did not last long. This feeling is familiar to me.

 Joy of being without this monkey mind that determines, separates, and judges all the time. I have recognized recently that there is no separation truly, and every time mind wanted to make any assumption, I stopped it there. My main practice was in keeping awareness on itself all the time. I am constantly observing thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, but I do not get involved. This is my meditation, LOL. This state has become so natural to me that now I feel like my body does things on its own, I actually am observing my body in motion and various processes, and I do not make any volition, it does things on its own.

Guys, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced: mind is always late, first body does something, then comes the registration of the fact, post factum. As I cook dinner even right now, I do not register “Oh, I need to reduce the heat of my boiling water” Body goes to the kitchen, and as I get up from the chair, registration of the fact happens afterwards. There is literally no “doer”. Thought is always late. First motion.

Also, I have this love and compassion toward "other". 

My sexuality is on the rise, even a coffee table seems sexy to me. But even this feeling is a bit heavy compared to the bliss I have experienced.  

This feeling of blissfulness comes sporadically, does not last long. I am just happy because I am conscious. The closest description would be pleasure, orgasm, deliciousness, peace, joy and unconditional love toward Being.

Guys, I used a lot of “I”, please do not be judgmental here, I realize that awareness does not have any individualized quality, but I am using this “I” for a purpose of understanding. I can not pin point this “I” anymore, everything became like a big movie on the screen and is seen now holistically.  

[Someone here]

@Galyna you are waking up and thats great. 

like Leo said "you don't even know what happiness is until you've had some deep awakenings".

Keep going .you are on the right track .

When you fully awakening you will drown in infinite love forever. 

[Galyna]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

@Galyna you are waking up and thats great. 

like Leo said "you don't even know what happiness is until you've had some deep awakenings".

Keep going .you are on the right track .

When you fully awakening you will drown in infinite love forever. 

Is it coming from your own experience? 

Because yesterday you were talking about depth, are you still seeing dualities?

[Someone here]

5 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Is it coming from your own experience? 

Yes .I experienced a radical awakening few weeks ago when I watched Leo's solipsism video. And I totally understand the illusion of other . That I'm god creating reality on the fly .

6 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Because yesterday you were talking about depth.

Depth ?

7 minutes ago, Galyna said:

are you still seeing dualities?

Duality and non-duality are two-sided of the same coin .

Look at the yin yang ☯️ symbol.   There is both Duality and non-duality in it .

[Galyna]

Just now, Someone here said:

Depth ?

Death, sorry .

Why were you asking people what happens after death? Have you read Raymond Moody's "Life After Life" recently? Do not get why are still having these questions? Is it just for the discussion and for fun? 

[Someone here]

Just now, Galyna said:

Death, sorry .

Why were you asking people what happens after death? Have you read Raymond Moody's "Life After Life" recently? Do not get why are still having these questions? Is it just for the discussion and for fun? 

Ah OK. Death 

Well..you see..Awakening has many facets .I awakend to absolute solipsism and unconditional love and no self etc etc...but i require a separate Awakening to understand what death is . 

I honestly got not the first clue what happens when we die .do we just simply disappear forever? Do we reincarnate as a cat?   ..I mean who the fuck knows. 

PS.No I didn't read it

[Galyna]

5 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Ah OK. Death 

Well..you see..Awakening has many facets .I awakend to absolute solipsism and unconditional love and no self etc etc...but i require a separate Awakening to understand what death is . 

I honestly got not the first clue what happens when we die .do we just simply disappear forever? Do we reincarnate as a cat?   ..I mean who the fuck knows. 

PS.No I didn't read it

Read it  It is classic, he spent his whole life researching NDE. 

6 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I honestly got not the first clue what happens when we die

It implies future, do you realize that death always happens in the future? Time is an illusion, you can die now

What is life? Who are you?

Please answer this question first and then you won't have a need to ask about death. 

9 minutes ago, Someone here said:

o we just simply disappear forever?

what you see as a body right now is a perceptive illusion, perceptive illusion because you seem to be in a sensory bubble of perceptions. 

If this whole maya is an illusion, can you really die? Are you following me?

Imagine I will show you the coin now, and in a split of a second you will see a sparkle/flash/glare on the sun from its one side. The coin is still there, you know you have just seen the glare, but has really happened? It was so real and at the same time illusion.

Do you understand what I am trying to say? 

 

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Galyna said:

I am constantly observing thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, but I do not get involved

That is the point. I understand perfectly, but the problem is inertia. extremely difficult not to mix with thoughts again, to grant them power. sometimes I have reached the total disconnection of thoughts, the feeling that you are in the void, at zero, you can still think, but with absolute detachment. the bad thing is that it is inevitable to get entangled again. it seems impossible not to. Maybe more meditation, stop distraction and really meditate many hours a day. But it's not only a matter of practice, it's to be really detached of everything, and this is difficult, because there are many hard attachments, like attachment to your health for example, or your look, or to communicate with others, hundreds more. They give the power to the thoughts

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 28, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[Galyna]

2 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Maybe more meditation, stop distraction and really meditate many hours a day

 

Nuh, that is the whole point, to enjoy the Being as it unfolds, I am not looking into "the End", quite honestly.  I am enjoying the ride.

Yes, people can trigger me still, but not so much as it was in the past.

What helps me the most? As soon as I realize that there is no separation, I am the whole canvas, call it "snapshot of Reality, at this point mind cannot move any further. Everything is perfect and the way it should be, and here, ego completely collapses. 

 

[Breakingthewall]

8 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Everything is perfect and the way it should be, and here, ego completely collapses. 

 

Not mine. I mean, compared to before, a year ago for example, my mind is in great peace, I am aware of unity almost all the time, there is joy, beauty, but... there is a barrier, I see it clearly. I. and I don't see how to relax that barrier. it is 99.9% of the time. the 0.1, or less, that disappears... that is, there is no more to get. freedom, unlimited. but come back soon. the very bitch. I mean, me, shit, I can't get out of the way, i am always spoiling the party for myself

[Galyna]

This is separation and desire to control, don’t control your mind, just let it be as is, it’s not the main guest in the house. What you call the “Barrier” isn’t the barrier. It is “you” appearing as the barrier. Do you see it? 

[WelcometoReality]

@Galyna Seems like you're going through some kind of awakening process.

Enjoy. ?

[SeaMonster]

There is no doer but it's sporadic?

If that's the case, you're close to a nondual awakening.  "No doer" has to become permanent to be in the "first stage."

[Galyna]

1 hour ago, SeaMonster said:

There is no doer but it's sporadic?

If that's the case, you're close to a nondual awakening.  "No doer" has to become permanent to be in the "first stage."

How many stages are there? 

[SeaMonster]

Just now, Galyna said:

How many stages are there? 

It depends how granular you want to make it and where you begin.  But starting at stable "non-doer" let's say 5 stages with the 5th being the complete dissolution of the thought "I" or unity consciousness.

Non-doer is like suddenly there is no separate self center -- but it's a bubble of localized consciousness where the center used to be.  Then the localized bubble expands indefinitely, i.e. cosmic consciousness, e.g.  

[Galyna]

18 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

@Galyna Seems like you're going through some kind of awakening process.

Enjoy. ?

Thanks ? ? 

[Galyna]

4 hours ago, SeaMonster said:

 

5 hours ago, Galyna said:

How many stages are there? 

It depends how granular you want to make it and where you begin. 

 

I don’t hold any preferences, I just want to understand, but it is not up to me to choose, right? ? 

Today it took me a while to remember what season we are in, what has happened to my short term memory? 

[SeaMonster]

1 hour ago, Galyna said:

I don’t hold any preferences, I just want to understand, but it is not up to me to choose, right? ? 

Today it took me a while to remember what season we are in, what has happened to my short term memory? 

From your description you're very close to a nondual awakening for sure.  It sounds pretty solid, and you also have a pretty good attitude about the whole situation.  So I wouldn't worry about trying to understand higher states, because whatever you're doing seems to be working.  It's all about surrendering this idea of "I" as just another thought that you can discard.

Edit: Let me rephrase that better - whatever your current conception of "I" is, treat it as another idea to be discarded, and you do this until there is no conception of "I."  This may go through different states, from the separate self I through the infinite cosmic "I" etc.  That's the basic journey.

Edited April 29, 2022 by SeaMonster

[Chrisd]

I like the idea of your state, and I'm home alone with nothing to do, so I'm taking it up as a practice: no doership. With the exception of functionality, because I do want to function properly.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Chrisd

[Galyna]

15 hours ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

No. You wouldn't ask us if you did.

I agree, it was just a bliss