How to not come off as desperate with girls ?

[universe]

Make it a game. Try to not say anything sexual at all while still conveying to her that you are thinking about that.

Just have normal fun conversations.

And stop with these dating apps. We are post covid and people enjoy the weather outside. No excuses!

 

[mmKay]

@Someone here  have u watched Leo's 3 part series on how to get laid? I mean everything is there. 

[Average Investor]

The less you need something, then it becomes easier to get. 

[Thought Art]

Oh, lesson to always read op post 

[Preety_India]

Don't be that direct. 

 

[Chrisd]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

Don't be that direct. 

 

But isn't he just being honest

Edited April 30, 2022 by Chrisd

[Michael Jackson]

22 hours ago, Chrisd said:

But isn't he just being honest

Brrrooo just stop it lol

[flowboy]

On 27/04/2022 at 10:04 PM, Someone here said:

Basically I want to know how to not come off as needy desperate horny boy who can't  control his sexual energy and act like a gentleman?  

By BEING it.

• Have a purpose in your life that you are passionate about and prioritize over sex
• Have a cool, interesting life that you are satisfied with, do cool things, travel, hobbies, passions, friends, just live a life that she'd like to be invited into.
• Have women friends and learn to understand, empathize and connect with the feminine

Do you have those things?

If not, well then it's going to be hard and counterproductive to come across as-if.

It's much easier and more satisfying to actually improve your life.

It also doesn't take as much effort as you think.

Time pointlessly texting girls is much better spent going out into the world and developing yourself as a man.

 

If you are already doing those things... ONLY IF... then worry about calibration and how you come across.

The beauty of actually BEING IT, is that it doesn't matter what you text, you can just suggest a time and place and WHO YOU ARE will do the work for you, when you actually are on the date. It's like sitting back and relaxing, while your self-actualized personality shines and draws her in.

Then, of course she'll want sex at some point.

BONUS TIP:

The feminine wants sex as the cherry on top, after the story / adventure plays out.

That's why:

• She doesn't skip to the end of a movie (neither would you)
• You need to have a fun date with her, or a fun couple hours spread out over different dates, before it's bedroom time
• She doesn't go home at 11PM to have sex with you, she wants to have experienced a fun night out first
• You need to not talk about sex, focus on having fun together. Whether you'll have sex (or whether you even like her enough for that) needs to be a fun mystery in her mind until later
• You talking about "wanna fuck" off the bat, shows that you don't understand women, therefore they don't want to meet you

Edited May 1, 2022 by flowboy

[Chrisd]

1 hour ago, Michael Jackson said:

Brrrooo just stop it lol

Afraid of a little directness

Edited May 1, 2022 by Chrisd

[lizz_luna]

I had an experience last night at a party setting that relates to this. I went dancing with my girl friends, we were having fun. A couple of male friends joined us and one of them approached my friend,  we all noticed his intentions right away and we all wanted him to leave because he seemed desperate and just wanted to approach us for something sexual. He left and we kept having fun. Later we met a bunch of guys that seemed were having so much fun, we joined and danced together, they didn't show any signs of wanting something more than having a great night, IRONICALLY, that was very attractive and naturally felt drawn to them. Basically do not show your intentions right away, gotta be more subtle and act like you don't need it or are interested, and basically, subconsciously a girl will think, why he is not interested? haha I know this doesn't work with a direct approach but you can try this in a more casual setting.

[Chrisd]

16 hours ago, lizz_luna said:

I had an experience last night at a party setting that relates to this. I went dancing with my girl friends, we were having fun. A couple of male friends joined us and one of them approached my friend,  we all noticed his intentions right away and we all wanted him to leave because he seemed desperate and just wanted to approach us for something sexual. He left and we kept having fun. Later we met a bunch of guys that seemed were having so much fun, we joined and danced together, they didn't show any signs of wanting something more than having a great night, IRONICALLY, that was very attractive and naturally felt drawn to them. Basically do not show your intentions right away, gotta be more subtle and act like you don't need it or are interested, and basically, subconsciously a girl will think, why he is not interested? haha I know this doesn't work with a direct approach but you can try this in a more casual setting.

I'll show my intentions right away, hope you'll appreciate it haha

I'd like to think about dating as matching, so I have an energy and intention, you feel it and you either match or you don't. In this sense the OP simply didn't find a match. 

[Federico del pueblo]

15 hours ago, lizz_luna said:

I had an experience last night at a party setting that relates to this. I went dancing with my girl friends, we were having fun. A couple of male friends joined us and one of them approached my friend,  we all noticed his intentions right away and we all wanted him to leave because he seemed desperate and just wanted to approach us for something sexual. He left and we kept having fun. Later we met a bunch of guys that seemed were having so much fun, we joined and danced together, they didn't show any signs of wanting something more than having a great night, IRONICALLY, that was very attractive and naturally felt drawn to them. Basically do not show your intentions right away, gotta be more subtle and act like you don't need it or are interested, and basically, subconsciously a girl will think, why he is not interested? haha I know this doesn't work with a direct approach but you can try this in a more casual setting.

Yeah, this is kind of what attraction theory says about the subject. 

"Look like you don't have an agenda" etc.

Can you understand how this can be confusing for guys?

Like they're supposed to initiate and lead, escalate, but also to look like they're not even trying, have no agenda, no sexual interest etc.

This can make it really hard, especially because there often is no other option than to open her directly. 

I would still recommend guys to do direct openers a lot of the time. 

This can still be mixed with "just having fun", like out of the fun mode you just quickly say "hello" to some girl and pull her in and then do some silly dancing and singing and then talk a little etc.

[Valach]

@Federico del pueblo

And I feel this also creates the phenomen of players, where only guys already fucking other woman will be able to authentically pull off this 'no agenda' vibe.

[Federico del pueblo]

35 minutes ago, Valach said:

@Federico del pueblo

And I feel this also creates the phenomen of players, where only guys already fucking other woman will be able to authentically pull off this 'no agenda' vibe.

Yeah, I mean this is a core concept of attraction. You must be coming from abundance (or create abundance).

The more options you have the more carefree you can be with each individual girl.

[Chrisd]

9 hours ago, Valach said:

@Federico del pueblo

And I feel this also creates the phenomen of players, where only guys already fucking other woman will be able to authentically pull off this 'no agenda' vibe.

Isnt this an example of limited thinking? Only people who pull off some vibe will get what they want.

Edited May 3, 2022 by Chrisd

[flyingguitarist]

On 28/04/2022 at 1:34 AM, Someone here said:

 I simply asked the girls if they wanna fuck. And I immediately got a big no , and the girls completely lost their interest in me .

Dude?? ,I'm imagining the situation and can't control my laugh

That too in a conservative place?,be careful tho 

On 28/04/2022 at 2:57 AM, Someone here said:

And nope ..most girls in my country are polite and unexperienced sexually. We are a very Conservative society. 

just curious which country are you from? I'm from india and can relate to that 

 

On 28/04/2022 at 1:34 AM, Someone here said:

Is that something I can get better at ? Any suggestions? Books ?vidos ?etc .

Thanks. 

this book called "Models" by Mark manson, touches on your problem(checkout the Honest communication chapter ) 

Socialize first , create a lifestyle around to support (i.e finances, physical &mental health, hobbies etc..) so that you won't be soo needy , maybe do some volunteer work(on a personal level this has impacted my social life,develop basic communication skills to talk with people etc..

The challenge you are pursuing is level 50 and for a player with level (0-9) skills  it's too challenging 

Edited May 4, 2022 by flyingguitarist

[michaelcycle00]

14 hours ago, flyingguitarist said:

just curious which country are you from? I'm from india and can relate to that 

He’s from India lol

[StarStruck]

Don’t resist being needy. Just be yourself and be needy and look for girls that put up with that. You can’t just throw away parts of yourself and don’t listen to people who say you can.
 

Just see yourself as a vessel and currently there is neediness energy within you. flush it out by recognizing it and live it out. Don’t be ashamed by being needy. 

Resistance to neediness will only make it worse. So put your dick on the line and just have congruency. Your inner and outer should match. The worst is if it doesn’t match. You will be labeled creepy. So just own who you are. 

[charlie cho]

dude, "wanna fuck?"..... haha I had one friend who said that. Freaked the woman out. 

[Someone here]

2 hours ago, charlie cho said:

dude, "wanna fuck?"..... haha I had one friend who said that. Freaked the woman out. 

Yeah that was a huge fuck up ..l learned the lesson the hard way, I guess ?