How to not come off as desperate with girls ?

[Someone here]

Look..dudes ..I'm just in a horny idiot these days,okay?

..I browsed  tons of dating apps looking for one night deal ..also in my "one girl per day challenge " I failed two times with two girls. I guess it was because I was too straightforward in showing my only interest which is sexual interest. I simply asked the girls if they wanna fuck. And I immediately got a big no , and the girls completely lost their interest in me .

Basically I want to know how to not come off as needy desperate horny boy who can't  control his sexual energy and act like a gentleman?  

Is that something I can get better at ? Any suggestions? Books ?vidos ?etc .

Thanks. 

Edited April 27, 2022 by Someone here

[somegirl]

Just now, Someone here said:

I simply asked the girls if they wanna fuck. And I immediately got a big no , and the girls completely lost their interest in me .

Very strange.... I wonder why 

[Raze]

You need to actually be socially calibrated and socialize with them so they can evaluate you.

[Someone here]

9 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Very strange.... I wonder why 

Idk lol.

I might came off as creepy .

 

[Someone here]

@Knowledge Hoarder lol what should I say next time ? Should I gradualy lead the conversation to sex or be explicit about what I want from the beginning?  Apparently the latter didn't work very well.

[Federico del pueblo]

@Someone here

You can't just cheat your way around learning good game

Approach girls, improve your flirting, make it sexual, but much more low key than what you said you did.

Pass shit tests, be confident (you are god after all...no need to put anyone on a pedestal right? ?).

[Someone here]

13 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

You should never be explicit. You have to subcommunicate this stuff, throught non verbal means, flirting etc. Woman's sexuality tends to work like an oven (not the perfect example, but I couldn't think of the original example?) - it doesn't go instantly from 0 to 100 celsius, ok? You have to heat it up slowly.

But first of all, what needs to happen is shift in your mentality. Seems to me like you undervalue sex a bit. Sex actually has quite a bit of value, if you think about it - if we were to monetize the time needed to actually get sex throught natural means, then the cost of sex is quite significant - in thousands of dollars. When you're getting a prostitute, you're basically paying to get sex instantly - and you're paying even thousand an hour, if the prostitute is a true 10/10. Either way, you HAVE to pay something in order to get sex. So, since you're choosing to pay with time, you need to be more patient with the process. You cannot expect to get results with these occasional, lazy performances.

Also, stop using dating apps, they won't help you in your current situation. 

That's a solid advice. Thanks for that .

You know..I tend to think that girls are like us ..simple and straightforward. But they are way more complex than us men .

What we as men want from the relationship is mostly sex .but it turns out that girls look for other things. They have different priorities. They first need to "fall in love with you " and gain some basic knowledge about you and get to know you first before she opens her legs for you. Which takes a lot of time .and I can't wait .I'm so desperate and horny. 

Yes ...I should take all that into consideration. I should build up first and talk about trivial shit (like what's your favourite hobbies etc)  before talking about sex . Which is the uncomfortable part of this whole process. 

[Someone here]

11 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

@Someone here

You can't just cheat your way around learning good game

Approach girls, improve your flirting, make it sexual, but much more low key than what you said you did.

Pass shit tests, be confident (you are god after all...no need to put anyone on a pedestal right? ?).

What is an example of "low key " sexual flirting? 

Also..do you think I should be sexual at all at the first date ? Or depends on what kind of relationship I'm looking for?

[NoSelfSelf]

You tried 2 times try 100 then see if its not working every girl you see have had sex with a guy soon rather than later...

[Someone here]

5 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You tried 2 times try 100 then see if its not working every girl you see have had sex with a guy soon rather than later...

Try 100 lol . You make it seem like it's so easy . I struggle with social anxiety. It takes a lot of balls to come over to a girl and ask her for sex .

And nope ..most girls in my country are polite and unexperienced sexually. We are a very Conservative society. 

[Federico del pueblo]

3 minutes ago, Someone here said:

What is an example of "low key " sexual flirting?

(After direct opener and some "regular talk")

- I'm intrigued...

- you seem.... interesting... somehow

- you amuse me

- you seem cute

- haha that look you make is kinda adorable

- it's funny cause for a moment you look sweet and innocent but then you make this devious look and I'm thinking "run away from her!!!"

- I'm tempted to have a crush on you, but you seem like too much trouble...(why?)

- You might be the kind of girl my mom warned me of (what exactly?)

- ohh, ok...if that's the case I might have to ask my mom if I can even hang out with a girl like you

- you seem like fun, but let's take it slowly ok? Like maybe only holding hands for the first 7 dates

- (she: "how many girls have you approached like this?) => Look in these Bambi eyes of mine... isn't it obvious I'm just a cute innocent boy?

- I don't know if this can work out with us...wait, which side of the bed do you sleep on?

- are you left or right handed?

- yeah, you seem cool...I could see myself having breakfast with you

- But hey, you promise me you're not just gonna use me for sex ok? I don't just wanna be seen as an sex object all the time

- Sorry, I was too busy staring at your lips (or too busy objectifying you in my mind), what did you say? (Look at her lips quickly again)

- You must stop being so cute

- You're actually not allowed to have such a sexy neck...

- I'm trying really hard to not think about doing certain things with you right now

- Yeah, I'm enjoying talking to you...and if we keep having this amazing energy like now, I'm sure I'd also enjoy engaging in other, more physical activities with you

- I appreciate that you're curious about my personality, like we take it slowly and get to know each other...but there can be other times when, for like 30 minutes or so I can also enjoy being objectified a little bit by a girl, if you know what I mean

 

So this was basically a progression of flirtatious/sexual things. It starts innocent and ends very sexual.

A similar kind of progression also exists for physical touch. Ideally you master both (verbals and physicality).

Also be prepared to get challenged for your flirtation attempts (and other things), aka receiving shit tests. "Aha, and do you say that to all the girls" etc.

And at some point you slow down the talking and see if you can kiss her. Maybe you can also take her home (topic for another thread).

[JonasVE12]

How many female friends do you have in your life? How many male friends? How are you connecting with people outside of dating? Can you approach a woman or man, maybe ask the time or directions, or have a friendly little conversation? Are people being repelled by your energy? Or pulled into you? When you go into a social environment, a bar, or something else, the gym for example, how are you connecting with people there?

You can never seduce a woman if you don't start with the basics. 

Instead of doing 1 direct approach a day, you will grow a lot more if you would ask 10 women a day where Starbucks is. It gives you the chance to work on how you are feeling when in front of her with less pressure. 

Can you feel open, free and relaxed saying hi to people you cross on the street?

I would have instant dates from indirect approaches all the time in the past. It's about learning to take her in, enjoying her, becoming curious about her while feeling your own body fully. This is in contrast to trying to make something happen, wanting, trying, pushing, forcing, manipulating, getting.

You need to take her in. Her beauty, her emotions, and you need to let then effect you in the body. You need to connect to her presence from your body. Not your head. 
Simple indirect approaches learn you to do that. Don't do direct approaches until you have people light up, become curious about you, when doing simple indirect approaches. 

[Federico del pueblo]

30 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Also..do you think I should be sexual at all at the first date ? Or depends on what kind of relationship I'm looking for?

Yeah, at least a little bit.

It must become clear to the girl you have a penis. It depends on the girl too. With some you can escalate fast, with others slowly.

[Thought Art]

Just keep trying until you get there 

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

I simply asked the girls if they wanna fuck. And I immediately got a big no , and the girls completely lost their interest in me .

Dude, what the fuck??

Stop wasting your time talking to girls. What you need is to purchase some courses/products on dating advice for men. You are missing the basic theory of how to attract women. Spend a few months just reading and listening and taking notes on the correct theory. If you don't have the right theory you can't properly practice.

What you're currently doing will never work so don't even waste your time.

[Karmadhi]

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

I simply asked the girls if they wanna fuck. And I immediately got a big no , and the girls completely lost their interest in me .

HHAAHHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHA bro you made my day with this i swear 

That is not how girls work.

[Jacob Morres]

He's just learning the ropes let's be ez lol. But yeah bro asking to fuck doesn't work usually unless the context is right. Like you're on that comfort level with the girl already, or u can tell she's into u like that 

Edited April 28, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[somegirl]

4 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

I'm tempted to have a crush on you, but you seem like too much trouble...(why?)

- You might be the kind of girl my mom warned me of (what exactly?)

- ohh, ok...if that's the case I might have to ask my mom if I can even hang out with a girl like you

- you seem like fun, but let's take it slowly ok? Like maybe only holding hands for the first 7 dates

- (she: "how many girls have you approached like this?) => Look in these Bambi eyes of mine... isn't it obvious I'm just a cute innocent boy?

- I don't know if this can work out with us...wait, which side of the bed do you sleep on?

- are you left or right handed?

- yeah, you seem cool...I could see myself having breakfast with you

- But hey, you promise me you're not just gonna use me for sex ok? I don't just wanna be seen as an sex object all the time

- Sorry, I was too busy staring at your lips (or too busy objectifying you in my mind), what did you say? (Look at her lips quickly again)

- You must stop being so cute

- You're actually not allowed to have such a sexy neck...

- I'm trying really hard to not think about doing certain things with you right now

- Yeah, I'm enjoying talking to you...and if we keep having this amazing energy like now, I'm sure I'd also enjoy engaging in other, more physical activities with you

- I appreciate that you're curious about my personality, like we take it slowly and get to know each other...but there can be other times when, for like 30 minutes or so I can also enjoy being objectified a little bit by a girl

Gold ?

[NoSelfSelf]

@Someone here I mean it wont work because of social anxiety start small then ? lol that what they want you to believe they are sexual alright my friend...

[Michael Jackson]

14 hours ago, Someone here said:

I simply asked the girls if they wanna fuck. And I immediately got a big no

Bro you come off as a nerd when you use such good grammar. Girls are into jerks.

Next time better ask them: "Hey, you wanna have fuck with me?"

Thank me later;)