Is trying to get with a popular guy worth it?

[Galyna]

1 minute ago, somegirl said:

 @Federico del pueblo His zodiac sign is leo

Oh me, Leo....I know your guy already, no need to move on further....

Leos are very grounded but very ego-centric. But I love them, because I am Aries. We have a lot in common. They are deep people, a bit arrogant, I can handle that. Watch out, girl...they fall for a nice cover and they want the best partner ever. 

[thisintegrated]

"Popular" doesn't exactly say anything meaningful about a person.. like.. at all.

Why is this only thing of note about him?

All I really saw from the OP was:  1. Plays guitar.  2.  Popular.

 

If you're asking if you should pursue a relationship based on those factors alone, I'd say of course not.  The fact those are the only things that stood out to you leads me to believe there's nothing more to it than that.  

[Galyna]

@thisintegrated set of qualities by which you select or are attracted to a person different for every human being, we can’t condemn others bc they are attracted to certain things, some rules don’t fall under the logic category. And yes, for most women these are important qualities, that is why women fall for Alfa. 

[somegirl]

29 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Oh me, Leo....I know your guy already, no need to move on further....

Leos are very grounded but very ego-centric. But I love them, because I am Aries. We have a lot in common. They are deep people, a bit arrogant, I can handle that. Watch out, girl...they fall for a nice cover and they want the best partner ever. 

I don't know how two leos function.

I mean, I have male best friend who is leo too. We had some small clashes, but it usually got resolved when one backs off, at the expense of their ego.  

[somegirl]

9 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

 

If you're asking if you should pursue a relationship based on those factors alone, I'd say of course not.  The fact those are the only things that stood out to you leads me to believe there's nothing more to it than that.

Well I needed to write a brief summary of a guy I am dealing with so you guys get an idea what kind of guy he is. Of course, I didn't even meet him in person, this is everything I know about him.
But I explained in previous comment why I find him interesting overall.

[Galyna]

5 minutes ago, somegirl said:

I don't know how two leos function.

From my experience, at least in relationships, someone has to give up and it is at times hurtful for the ego. But if you can step over it and start from zero, then shouldn’t be a problem. 

[somegirl]

39 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Even if you win the guy, are you ready to take and bear all the consequences to be with such person? Has your ego matured enough for this? Just asking, you know...

I am ready  Bring it.

39 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Ask yourself why do you care what other people think about your dating preferences and choices? do you see my point? Why do you need to prove your parents and friends that you have a successful guy? 

Well.. That's a good point.
But also, I think it's normal to show off something you're proud of. Feels good when others admire you.  
 

42 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Do not even dare to compliment the guy, his looks were given to him by nature, not something he worked hard on.

Except for his abs. He worked for them.

43 minutes ago, Galyna said:

If you ever go out with him, you can complement him on something others do not compliment. Notice something that other people never pay attention on. This will surprise him. I am sure he heard a lot of cliche phrases, be different. Genuinely listen and ask questions. But at this stage I would avoid expressing any admiration. 

Good advice! Could help to stand out.
IF we meet.
I don't know if he was serious when he wrote that he would go together with me to this concert. 
 

45 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Feels nice to your ego, breath taken huh. Truly, you do not want a guy, coz you do not know him, let's be honest, but he adds value to your ego, that a successful guy paid attention on you, do you see how he validates you, even indirectly. Now you feel honored. 

Not gonna pretend... For now all I know is social media presence.





 

[Galyna]

5 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Feels good when others admire you.  
 

51 minutes ago, Galyna said:

Have you ever considered the possibility that there are no “others”?

[somegirl]

Just now, Galyna said:

Have you ever considered the possibility that there are no “others”?

I actually have. But I'm not yet at the stage of my development where I'm ready to dive deep into such deep spiritual things. Gotta take care of basic human stuff first.
I practice LOA, and even though that might be an illusion, well, everything is an illusion, I might as well choose something that feels good to me. 

[Galyna]

8 minutes ago, somegirl said:

I actually have. But I'm not yet at the stage of my development where I'm ready to dive deep into such deep spiritual things. Gotta take care of basic human stuff first.
I practice LOA, and even though that might be an illusion, well, everything is an illusion, I might as well choose something that feels good to me. 

Yes, perfectly understood, stay on the carousel, that’s what we are here for ?. 
but remember wanting something and getting it doesn't necessary means you will get more happier, I fact fantasy is so pretty, reality is always different than what we have imagined or expected. Be careful to not fall in love with your fantasy. 

Edited April 28, 2022 by Galyna

[Karmadhi]

Honestly, i do not know. 

Getting a guy like this has its pros and cons.

Pros is that you get a guy you are highly attracted to and is high value.

Cons is that he knows that and will not put up with much BS from you and you will feel a bit scared that he might leave you for someone else. That is the issue of dating very desired people by society. You never know how long it will last, especially since guys tend to like sexual variety.

So up to you, you will not loose anything by trying. However if you want my advice, do not date such guys seriously. Most likely they will break your heart.

Such guys are good for casual stuff.

Try to find a high value guy that is less popular with girls if you want something serious that is also safe and fulfilling. Yes, they do exist trust me  

[Girzo]

Guys who do stuff like this, messaging random girls and pushing for meetings are not the kind of guys to think about being in a relationship. Like ever. Even if they really handsome and really want it and push for it. No.

I have attractive friends like that, I wouldn't want to be any of their past girlfriends or fiances.

Red flag.

[somegirl]

4 hours ago, Girzo said:

Guys who do stuff like this, messaging random girls and pushing for meetings are not the kind of guys to think about being in a relationship. Like ever. Even if they really handsome and really want it and push for it. No.

So how he needed to behave for it not to be a red flag? ?

[Federico del pueblo]

9 hours ago, Girzo said:

Guys who do stuff like this, messaging random girls and pushing for meetings are not the kind of guys to think about being in a relationship. Like ever. Even if they really handsome and really want it and push for it. No.

5 hours ago, somegirl said:

So how he needed to behave for it not to be a red flag? ?

I don't really think this applies here.

He's just capitalising on his good options due to popularity (using status for dating purposes), which I think is fine, he'd be dumb if he didn't do it.

Doesn't seem like the desperate guy who messages hundreds of girls on some platform.

[Girzo]

37 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Doesn't seem like the desperate guy who messages hundreds of girls on some platform.

My point is it is a red flag either way.

 

6 hours ago, somegirl said:

So how he needed to behave for it not to be a red flag? ?

Not be messaging random girls on social media. What value did you put in first for him to be interested in you? Suspicious.

Obviously I might be wrong I don't know the guy, but I know guys who do that stuff and what they have done, lying to girls that they are special just to sleep with them, or even thinking they are in love with a girl and leaving her week after engaging because they have found someone better. I might be biased, ask some girls if they have been or know someone who has been in such situation and how it has turned out.

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

It's unbelievable how many women believe this "signs determine your personality" bullshit??‍♂️ But hey, I'm not complaining, at least I've got more things to tease them on/to talk about. "What you say? Your sign's prisces? Naaah girl, that wouldn't work"?

Lol.

I literally don't care what people think of zodiac signs. I find it interesting to think about and it has some truth to it, BUT I also take into account the complexity of each individual I meet. 

I don't base my entire opinion based on someone's sign. I'm not like "Oh you're Sagittarius, we can't work, bye". I mean.... I'm not THAT crazy. ???

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, Federico del pueblo said:

don't really think this applies here.

He's just capitalising on his good options due to popularity (using status for dating purposes), which I think is fine, he'd be dumb if he didn't do it.

True true.

1 hour ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Doesn't seem like the desperate guy who messages hundreds of girls on some platform.

Well tbh, I don't know that. I don't know if he messages other girls and flirts with them all the time, everywhere he goes.

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, Girzo said:

Not be messaging random girls on social media. What value did you put in first for him to be interested in you? Suspicious.

My looks?

What else he could know about me on social media? Social media is for posting photos, therefore that's all he knows about me. When we meet, he will get to know me as a person a little more. 

 

[FlyingLotus]

Honestly, I have friends who’ve messed around with male celebs and they had a fun time and didn’t regret it.  Thing is they went into the situation knowing full well it wasn’t going anywhere and genuinely had zero expectations for a relationship.  They met up just to have a fun, interesting experience and learn more about the guy.  

There’s nothing wrong with meeting up, just keep your expectations in check.  Spend the date getting to know him as a person and having a fun time.  You need to get to know him better to see if he’d be a good bf anyway.

 

On 4/27/2022 at 1:15 PM, somegirl said:

He was very flirty and was mentioning "us" and how we could meet each other. He wanted us to go to one festival together that is held in my city this summer and wants us to buy tickets together.

But though he didn't contact me after that. 

This sorta sounds like love bombing behavior, especially if he barely knows you and isn’t contacting you anymore.  Matthew Hussey has good videos about that.

 

I highly, highly doubt that you’re the only girl he’s saying this stuff to.  Are you two still chatting?  If he’s not responding to your msgs don’t keep trying to pursue him.  In general, don’t invest time and energy into someone who’s not investing in you.

On 4/27/2022 at 1:15 PM, somegirl said:

I can't imagine me winning over such a big competition, but then again, maybe that's my limiting belief and I could be sabotaging myself thinking this way.

Yes, this is a limiting belief.  For a relationship, compatibility is more important that sheer hotness.  Yes he has to find you attractive, but don’t assume you know what his definition of attractive is.  High quality guys care more about personality, not less.  Be the best version of yourself and pay attention to guys who respond to that.

Also, being a high maintenance looking girl can actually work against you.

 

Warning: That channel is super Stage Orange and some guys will find it triggering.  I’m not saying I agree with Shallon 100%, but she has interesting things to say about dating and her advice is specifically for women, not men.    

[SgtPepper]

The thing is... you don't know this person. 

I feel like best case scenario, just hang out with them as a potential partner, but I'd avoid sex if you want to make yourself stand out and communicate you are looking for a serious long term relationship, unless one night stands are your thing. 

 

On 4/27/2022 at 5:44 PM, Federico del pueblo said:

But once the guy knows how good the cookies taste, he's more likely to buy the cookies.

There's also the saying 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free'?

Besides do you want someone that sticks around because they like your character? or because of the sex you gave? Obviously probably both, but which one do you want your relationship to be grounded in? 

If someone won't hang out with you 10 times sober & without having sex, then they were never looking at you seriously imo. 

Edited April 29, 2022 by SgtPepper