Is trying to get with a popular guy worth it?

[somegirl]

To give you guys a picture, this guy gets tons of attention and comments from girls below his videos and photos. He's a musician, insanely hot (has abs, blond messy hair), who has some kind of vlog thing going on too. So he's like "mini social media celebrity" I would say.

One day I saw he was playing my favorite song on electric guitar and I decided to comment below without giving it much of a thought. He replied and then later on messaged me.

He was very flirty and was mentioning "us" and how we could meet each other. He wanted us to go to one festival together that is held in my city this summer and wants us to buy tickets together.

But though he didn't contact me after that. 

I wonder if it's even worth thinking about getting with him because he probably gets offers left and right by other girls, sometimes girls who are literal tv hosts. I can't imagine me winning over such a big competition, but then again, maybe that's my limiting belief and I could be sabotaging myself thinking this way. Because we ultimately give ourselves value and "league" we think we fall under.

What do you think?

Edited April 27, 2022 by somegirl

[egoeimai]

Be careful of what you attract

[Leo Gura]

Be careful, he's probably sleeping with many girls. But it doesn't hurt to test the waters and see where things lead. As you get to know him, try to get a sense of what he's looking for in a relationship with a girl. Is he just sleeping around with anyone available or is he looking for something deeper?

[Federico del pueblo]

@somegirl worth it for what?

See if you can meet him somehow. And at some point just blow his mind with the hottest sex of human history ?

[aurum]

1 hour ago, somegirl said:

I can't imagine me winning over such a big competition, but then again, maybe that's my limiting belief and I could be sabotaging myself thinking this way. Because we ultimately give ourselves value and "league" we think we fall under.

I would focus on getting extremely clear on exactly what you want out of this, even if it’s just with yourself.

Do you want something casual or a something more serious? What will you do and will you not do? What are your boundaries?

I’m sure there’s a good chance you could meet up with the guy. But there’s also an extremely high chance he is not interested in something serious. He is most likely looking for a fling. So I’d just be aware of that.

12 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

See if you can meet him somehow. And at some point just blow his mind with the hottest sex of human history ?

My qualm with this advice is that if said guy is not interested in something serious and she is, hot sex is not going to change his mind.

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Be careful, he's probably sleeping with many girls. But it doesn't hurt to test the waters and see where things lead. As you get to know him, try to get a sense of what he's looking for in a relationship with a girl. Is he just sleeping around with anyone available or is he looking for something deeper?

That's something I'm trying to figure out too. Will see, for now I will let it go, until we meet. And if he ever sends me a message again lol.
 

35 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

worth it for what?

For something serious.
 

35 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

See if you can meet him somehow. And at some point just blow his mind with the hottest sex of human history ?

Would like that to happen within relationship context
 

21 minutes ago, aurum said:

I would focus on getting extremely clear on exactly what you want out of this, even if it’s just with yourself.

I think I would want us to meet first. I don't know if he's serious about the concert thing.

I don't know him personally yet, but based on his vlogs, he seems fun to be around. Very outgoing. So I kinda like that he's like that. 

I can kinda tell based on someone's way of behaving if they are serious or a f boy. And I didn't get f boy vibes from him. Question is how serious he is about me.



 

[Federico del pueblo]

1 minute ago, somegirl said:

For something serious.

Sure. Trying is definitely worth it. There's nothing bad that can happen, except maybe getting your ego crushed ?

4 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Would like that to happen within relationship context

Of course. But once the guy knows how good the cookies taste, he's more likely to buy the cookies. But you must be convincing in other ways too ofc, like being someone who is fun being around.

[Raptorsin7]

@somegirl Anything's possible, but my guess is this guy will stoke your emotions and make you believe there is genuine attraction and chemistry to have sex with you, and then he will move on.

I think you can find what you seek in a partner, but be weary that you are in the right place emotionally/mentally/spiritually to attract the man you seek

[somegirl]

3 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Of course. But once the guy knows how good the cookies taste, he's more likely to buy the cookies. But you must be convincing in other ways too ofc, like being someone who is fun being around.

I see, got it!
 

6 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I think you can find what you seek in a partner, but be weary that you are in the right place emotionally/mentally/spiritually to attract the man you seek

Such a good advice, I needed it. Because right now I don't feel like I am in the right place, but I'm very close to be. 
 

[Raptorsin7]

4 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Such a good advice, I needed it. Because right now I don't feel like I am in the right place, but I'm very close to be. 

The thing is this guy can genuinely feel something for you, and so from his pov he may be acting genuine in expressing interest, but that doesn't mean his feelings won't change on a dime after sex, after a date etc. 

I think if you were in the right place in your life and this situation arose you could have some confidence that it will turn out in a way you are happy with, but if there is doubt then you may be walking into a world of hurt.

Good luck and tread carefully (:

[Galyna]

3 hours ago, somegirl said:

I can't imagine me winning over such a big competition, but then again, maybe that's my limiting belief and I could be sabotaging myself thinking this way. Because we ultimately give ourselves value and "league" we think we fall under.

What do you think?

May I ask you a very simple question, if you do not mind. What is the purpose of getting the guy? It is not a toy or a gadget to inflate your ego or to boost your self-esteem.

Sorry if I am rude, I am very direct.  
 

 

Edited April 27, 2022 by Galyna

[Galyna]

Simple answer is being a bit indifferent and more confident than he is.

He is a human, and a bunch of success does not add really any value, other than a nice social trophy on his checklist. 

Edited April 27, 2022 by Galyna

[Federico del pueblo]

6 minutes ago, Galyna said:

and a bunch of success does not add really any value, other than a nice social trophy on his checklist

What do you mean by that? Like his success does not add to his value as man?

Because in the perception of a lot of people it would actually add value if someone is successful.

Or did you mean if he pursues the girl, because you called it "social trophy on his checklist"?

[Galyna]

2 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Like his success does not add to his value as man?

Success is very relevant. What is value, really? Think about it. Agenda and value go hand in hand together. 

You can be a completely successful jerk and treat others like crap. Having audience, YT channel and bunch of fans really does not mean anything other than! a person can set goals, is very charismatic and a hard working. Does it make him a good partner to be worth pursuing, that is a good question to ask? 

5 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Because in the perception of a lot of people it would actually add value if someone is successful.

Oh dear, it is because of the survival instinct, successful people serve as good guarantors to others that you can thrive and survive next to them, no more, no less.

6 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Or did you mean if he pursues the girl, because you called it "social trophy on his checklist"?

I meant it is one of his facet, his achievements. 

[somegirl]

29 minutes ago, Galyna said:

May I ask you a very simple question, if you do not mind. What is the purpose of getting the guy? It is not a toy or a gadget to inflate your ego or to boost your self-esteem.

Sorry if I am rude, I am very direct.  
 

I just find him attractive both physically and from the way I have seen him be in his vlogs. Tbh I thought he would never message me, he gets attention from other girls for sure, so I found it extremely interesting when he messaged me.

He also plays electric guitar, and the way he does it with passion is just extremely attractive. I am also an artistic type, so we could maybe have a thing or two to talk about. 

But I won't lie... 
I would be proud to have someone like him as my bf. I would want to show him off a little.  Is that wrong to say?  
 

Edited April 27, 2022 by somegirl

[somegirl]

I don't care if I sound girly, but he's leo like me hahahah.
And also likes to travel based on his photos, and that was pretty much on my wishlist (adventurious guy to travel with)

[Federico del pueblo]

6 minutes ago, somegirl said:

I would be proud to have someone like him as my bf. I would want to show him off a little.  Is that wrong to say?  

It's very naughty! ?

[Federico del pueblo]

3 minutes ago, somegirl said:

but he's leo like me hahahah

Leo? Me no understand ?

[somegirl]

 @Federico del pueblo His zodiac sign is leo

[Galyna]

17 minutes ago, somegirl said:

I just find him attractive both physically and from the way I have seen him be in his vlogs.

Unfortunately, these are all his masks, you project your own values onto him by reading his nicely wrapped vlog, do you see how you're falling in your own illusion? 

17 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Tbh I thought he would never message me, he gets attention from other girls for sure, so I found it extremely interesting when he did.

Feels nice to your ego, breath taken huh. Truly, you do not want a guy, coz you do not know him, let's be honest, but he adds value to your ego, that a successful guy paid attention on you, do you see how he validates you, even indirectly. Now you feel honored. 

17 minutes ago, somegirl said:

He also plays electric guitar, and the way he does it with passion is just extremely attractive. I am also an artistic type, so we could maybe have a thing or two to talk about. 

That is more authentic and came from your heart. Go for it, but just do not dress him up in nice clothes till you really know the guy, look at it as a little adventure to know the person with the same interest and talents. Do not even dare to compliment the guy, his looks were given to him by nature, not something he worked hard on.

If you ever go out with him, you can complement him on something others do not compliment. Notice something that other people never pay attention on. This will surprise him. I am sure he heard a lot of cliche phrases, be different. Genuinely listen and ask questions. But at this stage I would avoid expressing any admiration. 

17 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Is that wrong to say?

Absolutely not. Ask yourself why do you care what other people think about your dating preferences and choices? do you see my point? Why do you need to prove your parents and friends that you have a successful guy? 

Even if you win the guy, are you ready to take and bear all the consequences to be with such person? Has your ego matured enough for this? Just asking, you know...

Edited April 27, 2022 by Galyna