My partner is not interested in personal development or philosophy

[andyurb]

Hi guys!

My partner is not interested in personal development or philosophy. Whenever we start talking about a topic like this, she falls asleep, doesn't follow the conversation or answers with a different topic. For me, it is a very important aspect of my life that I want to share with her, but whenever I tell her, she feels bad and tells me that these issues are not forced.

I've been with her for almost a year and we still haven't talked once about anything like that. It makes me feel really sad.

What can I do to be able to share this with her?

Any opinion and help is welcome. Thanks guys!?

[Bando]

Welcome to the real world where most people don't care about this stuff, I would try to lead by example and slowly bring in basic personal development ideas.

Aligning values goes a long way in relationships if everything else in your relationship is fine and this is the only aspect that could be improved ask yourself if this is something to place a lot of importance on if not consider finding someone who more aligns with you

[puporing]

1 hour ago, Bando said:

Welcome to the real world where most people don't care about this stuff

Yeah... 

1 hour ago, andyurb said:

What can I do to be able to share this with her?

Can't really expect to change someone that's usually not the best idea.. best to lead by example or find someone you resonate more with.

[NoSelfSelf]

Find a girl that likes that simple as that ?

[bejapuskas]

@Bando  I think if the OP has been with this person for a year and still nothing changed, trying to change them could just mean digging oneself into a hole. Do not make it worse.

@andyurb What are the reasons for staying with this person for so long if they make you so sad? Have you ever considered what you love?

One thing I observed in my experience - in Actualized.org, Leo teaches the kind of approach to dating that assumes you are a selfish fuck who never provides to a woman. If you are not that, it might falsely make you feel like you are, because you love Leo too much. And then you just multiply your people pleasing instinct with even more of it and you become a burn out. Be careful about this.

[meta_male]

@andyurb I wouldn't expect her to become interested in those topics, most people are happy living a basic life and won't see the point in becoming a better version of themselves.

But you should take some time to think about whether or not you're okay being with someone who is bored of your interests. You will most likely not be able to have a deep emotional connection and won't get her support when it comes to facing the challenges in this area.

[Chrisd]

Plenty of interesting things to talk about, why talk about those topics specifically? (you said any opinion is welcome )

Secondly, I think we do have the power to influence each other. I get that you're trying to force this thing. How long do you estimate it will take for her to change?