Opposite Gender Power

[Jhonny]

I started doing presonal development an year ago. My life was really fucked up before now i see an order or atleast have an idea how to get an ordered life. Which is i think critical component of fullfillment.But all this drive to improve was coming from a girl that i liked. I did every tiny improvement in myself initially for her. It's not that i want to have relationship with her or something. But seeing her everyday make me improve myself. My observation,  This drive to change is surely coming from 'Thoughts' of her.

Now that she is not available I have found intrinsic drives but the thing is God or creator or universal intelligence whatever you call that has put enormous power in some people from the opposite gender.

[Life Coach]

Just as they hold what in your eyes seem positive power over you, they may just as easily hold negative power over you. Sure, you used that motivation as a kickstart, but now since you are on the way it is time for you to completely and absolutely take all your power back and never be "powered" by anyone else, only by yourself. Get intrinsic motivation and be free.

[Loreena]

You could have your own list of role models to look upto if that's how you derive your motivation. But don't bend yourself to other's expectations. reflect over yourself and see what will bring lasting fulfillment to your mind. Then let that become your drive. Just like your body needs food, your mind needs something that which you need to figure out for yourself. One great way of finding that inner drive is connecting to your deepest feelings and instincts. These instincts get revealed only in moments of deeper self reflection. Don't limit self improvement to just typical or market based models of personal development, but try to seek inner fulfillment. The drive and the search is inward, not outward.

[aurum]

To a certain degree you're probably kidding yourself if you claim the opposite sex has no power over you. The real question is how attached you are.

I also was highly motivated by women for a long time. And while I still care about success with women, it's not my default driving force anymore. I care far more about just being happy because I've seen that women aren't going to do that for you.

If you're going through the same thing, that's good. That's progress. You're gaining consciousness by real world experience.

Ultimately you want to reach that same place with everything in your life.

[Passionate]

@Jhonny I agree with the others who have posted here.  Your motivation for personal development should come from within.  Simply put, you just want to be a better person.  If your motivation comes from external forces, such as other people or even the opposite sex, then so be it.  I call them "primers," and they can be helpful to either get you started or keep you going.  Just so long as they are not the source of your drive.  Keep your awareness focused on that force that comes from within you - whatever you call it - you will feel that grow stronger.    Keep up the great work!!