Having a difficult time saying no to ugly girls.Which is the best way to say "no"?

[Tudo]

Some time ago I started pick up. Since I was insecure I started with the ugly girls, the problem is that some of these ugly girls really liked me and now I'm really afraid of saying no to them because I REALLY don't want to hurt their feelings. I feel like shit. Which is the best way to say "no"?

Edited April 23, 2022 by Tudo

[something_else]

There isn’t really a cheap trick to this, ultimately you just have to face up to it and do it. And then try to avoid being in that situation again

It’s not easy man, been there. It makes you feel like a real asshole but it’s better than leading them on

[Karmadhi]

1 hour ago, Tudo said:

Since I was insecure I started with the ugly girls

Beauty is subjective, do not use "ugly girls" as a phrase please. 

1 hour ago, Tudo said:

Which is the best way to say "no"?

Just tell them what girls tell to guys when they dumb them. "Im not feeling the same way anymore sorry". Works for girls so it should work for you too.

From now on go for girls you are actually attracted to, since you are getting good results with the ones that you are not. Do not assume a more attractive girl will be less likely to be into you.

 

[Tudo]

32 minutes ago, Roy said:

 Most of the time it's just better to come up with some white lies or drop hints until they figure things out themselves. Just don't drag it out for your convenience or be super manipulative.

 

Be sure I will not drag it out just for my covenience. When I was in college there was a girl that I really liked  that kept rejecting me even tough she would keep flirting, giving me  hope, so I would keep inflating her ego, this happend for 4 years.This was hell on earth for me. Really left me traumatized. I will never do this kind of stuff to another human being. I will be extremely assertive trying not hurt their feelings.

Edited April 23, 2022 by Tudo

[Karmadhi]

Plus bro, dating is a brutal, ruthless business. It is not sunshine and rainbows. You will break a shit lot of hearts and your heart will be broken a lot of times too. That is the nature of dating. 

Of course try to minimize it but sometimes to make an omlett you have to break a few eggs. If you had to break 10 girl's hearts in your journey to getting better with girls you should do it without blinking once. Keep in mind that heartbreak makes people stronger, you are not killing them you know.

I am grateful for all my heartbreaks, they made me much stronger emotionally, you should be too if you had any.

Edited April 23, 2022 by Karmadhi

[Tudo]

1 minute ago, Karmadhi said:

Plus bro, dating is a brutal, ruthless business. It is not sunshine and rainbows. You will break a shit lot of hearts and your heart will be broken a lot of times too. That is the nature of dating. 

Of course try to minimize it but sometimes to make an omlett you have to break a few eggs. If you had to break 10 girl's hearts in your journey to getting better with girls you should do it without blinking once. Keep in mind that heartbreak makes people stronger, you are not killing them you know.

I am grateful for all my heartbreaks, they made me much stronger emotionally, you should be too if you had any.

Yes. I know. I also had my heart brutally broken.

 

[Karmadhi]

4 minutes ago, Tudo said:

Yes. I know. I also had my heart brutally broken

Then become a bit more ruthless and do not moan about having to cancel off some girls after giving them a good time.

They would do it to you without flinching, so would other guys to girls.

It is really good that you have such a high level of empathy, i also have some strict rules that i do not break at the cost of my success (not going for girls with boyfriends even if she is down for eg) but for the sake of practice, keep doing what you have been doing.

It will be worth it, every great country is build under a mountain of corpses.

[aurum]

@Tudo step one would be to stop leading girls on who you’re not interested in.

Become aware if there’s a sense a validation that you may get from doing so, i.e “wow she wanted me so badly, I’m cool”.

[Tudo]

51 minutes ago, aurum said:

@Tudo step one would be to stop leading girls on who you’re not interested in.

Become aware if there’s a sense a validation that you may get from doing so, i.e “wow she wanted me so badly, I’m cool”.

Yes, understood.

[Preety_India]

Just don't lead a girl on who you ultimately don't wish to be with. 

It's worse than rejection. Because rejection is outright. But if you lead someone on, then they have false hopes about a situation which is going to turn brutal later

. I guess that's like inviting someone over to a party and then showing them the door. 

It can be humiliating. Best is to just avoid this bad karma. 

Screen girls in advance and be clever to know who you really want. Then be with them 

 

Now if you found a girl and later changed your mind then do it as soon as possible, as early as possible, that way the damage is minimum. Plus her time is saved. 

Don't drag it on till she develops deep attachment, kinda cruel in the end. And of course she didn't sign up for that. Think from her side. 

You can say dating is cruel. But this is not about cruelty and more about ethics. Be ethical. Have standards. Learn the ability to say no when necessary, and learn to be as honest as possible, don't call the girl ugly because that can impact her self Esteem, just let her know that you can't do it or don't want it. But always be honest about your intent early on. 

 

[Leo Gura]

You can do what 99% of girls do: just ignore.

Or you can invent some comfy excuse like: I'm seeing someone.

[Jacob Morres]

Ime sometimes they can get super rude and manipulative. Just make sure your no is firm in case they do something like that or have a plan ASAP. Don't get sucked into it 

Edited April 24, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[LSD-Rumi]

@Tudo say "sorry, but there is no real conenction or chemstry between us"

Edited April 24, 2022 by LSD-Rumi

[StarStruck]

Learn from girls and how they do it:

• Ignore
• Give short answer
• Be dismissive

In other words, you don't need to spell it out. Just give hints and most will bail.

Spelling it out is rude and should be avoided unless she is trying to push the envelope.

Edited April 24, 2022 by StarStruck

[Gesundheit2]

Tell them you want to fuck, and you will win either way.