Those who need love the most are least likely to get it

[Max_V]

We collectively are attracted towards people and things that are happy, joyful, whole. Those who are broken, needy for affection, depressed most of time turn people away, like magnets being repelled.

This seems strange to me.

Why are people that need love the most the least likely to get it? 

[Max_V]

@A_v_E If you want you can destroy all boundaries and believe that everything is as it should be, perfect if you will. That's fine, but I think you are doing a disservice to your fellow man. 

28 minutes ago, A_v_E said:

is there people that are absolutely blue or red, or aren't we all a bit of everything depending the frame and the perspective ?

If you spend time with a large amount of different kinds of people you will empirically come to the conclusion that there are those that are mentally healthy and happy, and those that are not. 

28 minutes ago, A_v_E said:

can the world be divided between people who are "broken" and people who are "fixed" ?

yep, if you value maximizing the happiness of all it is certainly handy to differentiate between those that are happy and those that are not. 

[puporing]

Yes I agree this is a thing.. it makes things like depression alot harder to heal/move on from. It is selfishness (and by extension the sense of seperation) that keeps us from automatically lifting each other up when we see someone down. It's also discriminatory to the poor as they cannot afford mental health treatment/therapy, often this is how generational trauma is perpetuated. People also lack the skill to effectively help another. 

Edited April 23, 2022 by puporing

[zurew]

2 hours ago, Max_V said:

Why are people that need love the most the least likely to get it? 

Because we are selfish, and we are not developed enough yet.  Also evolution and survival has a role in it too. We are attracted to people who are self-confident and who are loving themselves, because subconsciously we think we have a lot better chance to survive in the world if we connect with them.

lack of love is associated with weakness, and everyone is attracted to strength

When i opened my heart chakra, i was full of love, and i didn't lack anything (this is when you are literally fulfilled so you are lacking of selfish desires). When you are in that state, you naturally want to help everyone and everything to the best of your ability, without any selfishness or thoughts crossing your mind, because thats the only thing you want to do, because you don't have any other thing on your mind that you would prioritize over others.

The hardness is maintaining that state, when you need to focus on your own survival too. But it is 100% possible to be in such a state.

[Max_V]

20 minutes ago, puporing said:

Yes I agree this is a thing.. it makes things like depression alot harder to heal/move on from. It is selfishness (and by extension the sense of seperation) that keeps us from automatically lifting each other up when we see someone down. It's also discriminatory to the poor as they cannot afford mental health treatment/therapy, often this is how generational trauma is perpetuated. People also lack the skill to effectively help another. 

I have no idea why the world is that way, it puzzles me every day. The idea that seems most reasonable to me right now, is that the world is a disinterested sandbox and we have to discover how it ought to be setup and then move it towards being that way. Until we get goverments that create infrastructures for this sort of thing, I suppose the only thing we can do is act according to these principles ourselves. Be loving towards those that need it most, even though we might not get much out of it. 

 

[Max_V]

12 minutes ago, zurew said:

Because we are selfish, and we are not developed enough yet.  Also evolution and survival has a role in it too. We are attracted to people who are self-confident and who are loving themselves, because subconsciously we think we have a lot better chance to survive in the world if we connect with them.

12 minutes ago, zurew said:

The hardness is maintaining that state, when you need to focus on your own survival too. But it is 100% possible to be in such a state

Yep, the only thing we can do is try our best to project out these priniciples towards the world. 

 

[Max_V]

@A_v_E I'm sorry, this might be helpful if you are working at some absolute level, but this doesn't help people day to day. For average people that are not in a place where full enlightenment is their life, working under the philosophy of trying to maximize happiness through normal means is a lot more helpful. 

Don't lose touch with 99% of the population

[zurew]

3 minutes ago, Max_V said:

Yep, the only thing we can do is try our best to project out these priniciples towards the world. 

Yeah, making certain spiritual practices more mainstream .and making better infrastructure to help depressed,weak and poor people can both have a very significant role in helping these people.

[Leo Gura]

Because neediness, desperation, and negativity is repulsive. It can be like a negativity virus that spreads to others.

[puporing]

1 hour ago, Max_V said:

I have no idea why the world is that way, it puzzles me every day. The idea that seems most reasonable to me right now, is that the world is a disinterested sandbox and we have to discover how it ought to be setup and then move it towards being that way. Until we get goverments that create infrastructures for this sort of thing, I suppose the only thing we can do is act according to these principles ourselves. Be loving towards those that need it most, even though we might not get much out of it. 

? Yeah for now there's not too much else... more people being aware of the situation is what can spur political actions. Recognition that "band-aid" solutions just aren't very smart in the long run. Depression/mental health problems can lead to lots of physical health problems, it would make much more sense to catch those before it manifests into the "physical".    

There could be more fast-tracked training programs to become a mental health professional as well. I know personally if this was an option I probably would've gone for it years ago. But the selection process (just like doctors) and lengthy schooling keeps lots of talented people out the door and costs high.

Edited April 23, 2022 by puporing

[Thought Art]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because neediness, desperation, and negativity is repulsive. It can be like a negativity virus that spreads to others.

Which is why it's responsible to get therapy, coaching and to read about healthy relationships prior to and in conjunction with dating and pickup.

[mmKay]

5 hours ago, Max_V said:

We collectively are attracted towards people and things that are happy, joyful, whole. Those who are broken, needy for affection, depressed most of time turn people away, like magnets being repelled.

This seems strange to me.

Why are people that need love the most the least likely to get it? 

The rich get richer and the poor get more poor. Research the concept of upwards and downwards spyrals and the ripple effect. 

[gettoefl]

default ego position is fighter not lover, a recipe for misery depression negativity

on top of which we are told that most folks are my enemy and i either take what's mine or get trodden on

all this certainly doesn't fill one with warm fuzzy feelings towards one's fellow man

to turn all this around takes some kind of an awakening

Edited April 24, 2022 by gettoefl

[Carl-Richard]

Being loved teaches you to be loving.