Losing interest in intellectual pursuits/matters

[thisintegrated]

I still have an interest, but it's increasingly feeling more pointless.  E.g. Geopolitics is interesting, but it's always the same old stuff, just in a different order.  Design is fun, but it's just a game.  Politics is interesting, but it's always just about some stupid childish quarrels.

Someone today showed me a very "stage yellow" book, which should've made me interested and curious, but it's just more "systems" and understanding the state of the world and where it's headed.  I just don't care anymore.  Even if a book had some great new insights, so what?  It wouldn't teach me anything of value.  I still love to talk about these things to socialize, but nothing feels as significant/deep as it used to.

Anything that's not God/Consciousness related feels boring.  It feels like this is the only area of "study" that will actually lead somewhere, or still has some room for progress at least.  I'm kinda sad I can't really be the fun/excitable/curious guy I used to be for the people in my life.  Actually I had the best relationships when I was Orange/Green, as a kid, when I would get overexcited about stupid things, and everyone could relate to me.

 

Not sure where I go from here.  I will continue to progress, and will hopefully get some insights about what I want to do.

No games, no anime, no pointless intellectualizing, no pointless debating, no pointless teaching.. what's left?  I actually had an answer for this years ago, but the same things don't matter to me anymore.

Edited April 23, 2022 by thisintegrated

[PenguinPablo]

bro u need to get laid 

[thisintegrated]

Just now, PenguinPablo said:

bro u need to get laid 

And then what?

[Carl-Richard]

Same. I had to artificially reignite it while trying to salvage some neglected aspects of myself (education etc.), but it's still not the same. When I'm engaging in intellectual thought, it feels like I'm operating from the second-best thing. In reality, my mind just wants to be silent. But I deliberately chose to do it, because I'm not ready for selflessness yet (or so I'm telling myself). I feel that I'm practically capable of climbing to the top and letting go, but I also feel that I haven't built a sturdy enough ladder yet.

[puporing]

Hey that's sort of where I'm at these days. I am pretty blissful when doing "nothing". And well most of the times when people are involved there tends to be high and a low so you're always on a rollercoaster with "socialization" and it's usually not high conscious.. 

Edited April 23, 2022 by puporing

[Leo Gura]

Yup, that's what waking up does. It's hard to be interested in the trivial. I've had a huge dose of that lately. No human intellectual ramblings can hold a candle to omniscience. And even all spiritual books and teachings become dumb.

[Husseinisdoingfine]

@Leo Gura Your thoughts on the field of theoretical physics and quantum mechanics?

[puporing]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Yup, that's what waking up does. It's hard to be interested in the trivial. I've had a huge dose of that lately. No human intellectual ramblings can hold a candle to omniscience. And even all spiritual books and teachings become dumb.

[Danioover9000]

@thisintegrated

51 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

I still have an interest, but it's increasingly feeling more pointless.  E.g. Geopolitics is interesting, but it's always the same old stuff, just in a different order.  Design is fun, but it's just a game.  Politics is interesting, but it's always just about some stupid childish quarrels.

Someone today showed me a very "stage yellow" book, which should've made me interested and curious, but it's just more "systems" and understanding the state of the world and where it's headed.  I just don't care anymore.  Even if a book had some great new insights, so what?  It wouldn't teach me anything of value.  I still love to talk about these things to socialize, but nothing feels as significant/deep as it used to.

Anything that's not God/Consciousness related feels boring.  It feels like this is the only area of "study" that will actually lead somewhere, or still has some room for progress at least.  I'm kinda sad I can't really be the fun/excitable/curious guy I used to be for the people in my life.  Actually I had the best relationships when I was Orange/Green, as a kid, when I would get overexcited about stupid things, and everyone could relate to me.

 

Not sure where I go from here.  I will continue to progress, and will hopefully get some insights about what I want to do.

No games, no anime, no pointless intellectualizing, no pointless debating, no pointless teaching.. what's left?  I actually had an answer for this years ago, but the same things don't matter to me anymore.

   Is this who you really want to be? The guy stuck in the rut?

   What if, instead of those objects and situations making you feel boring, you were actually willing the bordem in your mind? What if you were withholding that excitement, curiousity and happiness, from yourself, because you feel like you didn't do enough to reward yourself those states of emotions?

[Husseinisdoingfine]

@thisintegrated and now you know why people become monks and ascetics.

Consider becoming on and just sitting in pure bliss for the rest of your life.

Edited April 23, 2022 by Husseinisdoingfine

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

@Leo Gura Your thoughts on the field of theoretical physics and quantum mechanics?

A game for children.

[PenguinPablo]

 

18 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Yup, that's what waking up does. It's hard to be interested in the trivial. I've had a huge dose of that lately. No human intellectual ramblings can hold a candle to omniscience. And even all spiritual books and teachings become dumb.

What do you do at that point… they say the seeking energy stops when your reach enlightenment. 
stop spiritual seeking…

stop intellectual seeking…

stop pleasure seeking…

stop money seeking…

and so on on…

it’s happened to me a little bit and it felt good. Peaceful. But kinda happy with playing the game too. Being a character, optimizing his resources and life within the rpg. I guess it’s still possible to do so without the same neurotic compulsion that accompanied my behavior previously. Even if it’s just a play or a game. Not saying I’m there yet but ya know.

 

Edited April 23, 2022 by PenguinPablo

[thisintegrated]

1 minute ago, Danioover9000 said:

@thisintegrated

   Is this who you really want to be? The guy stuck in the rut?

   What if, instead of those objects and situations making you feel boring, you were actually willing the bordem in your mind? What if you were withholding that excitement, curiousity and happiness, from yourself, because you feel like you didn't do enough to reward yourself those states of emotions?

I'm pretty sure this is just a side-effect of becoming more aware.  It just struck me today as I felt I had become so different to a certain Yellow family member.  Talking about intellectual subjects just felt weird and unsatisfying.

This happened to me with video games some years ago.  They started feeling so pointless.  Now it's happening with the intellect, I guess?‍♂️

[thisintegrated]

8 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

@thisintegrated and now you know why people become monks and ascetics.

Consider becoming on and just sitting in pure bliss for the rest of your life.

I've thought about it, but I don't see much point in putting limitations on myself.

I want to explore everything and experiment however I can first.  Monks don't experiment.

[Leo Gura]

14 minutes ago, PenguinPablo said:

What do you do at that point… they say the seeking energy stops when your reach enlightenment. 
stop spiritual seeking…

stop intellectual seeking…

stop pleasure seeking…

stop money seeking…

and so on on…

Well, it will depend on how deep your awakening and spiritual work goes. If it goes deep enough you will probably transcend and outgrow everything in normal human life. However I have not reached that point. I am still motivated by many aspects of life, including sex, intimate relationships, some forms of business, creative and artistic pursuits, and I still have intellectual pursuits although they are more grounded in my own personal contemplations rather than listening to humans. I still have a lot of spiritual work to do. I haven't gone full monk mode.

[AtheisticNonduality]

17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I haven't gone full monk mode.

You'll have to drop the white button-down and make the leap to robe.

 

[Leo Gura]

44 minutes ago, AtheisticNonduality said:

You'll have to drop the white button-down and make the leap to robe.

I'll have to drop you

[Danioover9000]

@Husseinisdoingfine

1 hour ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

@Leo Gura Your thoughts on the field of theoretical physics and quantum mechanics?

   Better computers.

[Matthew85]

Perhaps you are at a plateau. Awakening is an endless journey. My interests have changed as my awareness has expanded, but I still find many things to be deeply interested in and fascinated by. I love this quote "when the ordinary becomes extraordinary" It sums up what expanding my consciousness has shown me. When I look back I can see how I was only skimming a very superficial layer of life, overlooking so much that was present, but I was oblivious to. 

[thisintegrated]

15 minutes ago, Matthew85 said:

Perhaps you are at a plateau. Awakening is an endless journey. My interests have changed as my awareness has expanded, but I still find many things to be deeply interested in and fascinated by. I love this quote "when the ordinary becomes extraordinary" It sums up what expanding my consciousness has shown me. When I look back I can see how I was only skimming a very superficial layer of life, overlooking so much that was present, but I was oblivious to. 

idk, I've always been interested in everything.  I'm naturally a very curious person.  But now I'm just looking at it all from a higher perspective, and seeing how despite the infinite depth present in everything, It's all meaningless.

There's no inherent meaning to life, so there's nothing wrong with immersing yourself in all the meaningless activities available here.  But as I want to wake up, the meaning/purpose I'm creating for myself is in waking up.  All else is a distraction.  As soon as one is ready, I think waking up becomes the only worthy goal to aim for.  And when the time is right, maybe the subconscious mind adapts to the new aims and filters out all the distractions.  Or maybe it's something else, idk, I'm too tired to think now..

 

 

Edited April 23, 2022 by thisintegrated