About getting laid /getting a girlfriend

[Someone here]

For part of my life, when I was younger, I found it difficult to find a girlfriend.

Today, I find it easy. Although I don't have a girlfriend yet. 

What changed? I did.

When people say they can't find a partner, it has been my experience and observation that those people are not paying attention to what matters. They are focusing on what they want, but not what they offer.

If you met a woman tomorrow who was everything you could ever want, the absolute perfect girlfriend for you, why would she want you? What do you offer? If you met your perfect girlfriend tomorrow while you were standing in a group of five other guys, what would cause her to notice you and want you instead of one of those other guys?

A lot of people think the answer is “money” or “looks” or “an expensive car,” it isn't. 

So what is it?

Be open. Be courageous. Be authentic. When you find someone interesting, say so. Ask people out…but be willing to accept no for an answer. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be vulnerable. Treat women like people. Be confident and secure. Don't be jealous, controlling, entitled, or manipulative. Treat others with kindness and compassion. Don't hide your intentions by pretending to be friends and hoping she will wake up one day and decide to shag you.

That really is all there is to it.

[bloomer]

@Someone here

You say you changed and now it's easy for you to get laid and you're a super cool chad. Great.

So what do you offer the perfect girl tomorrow that you didn't before? What makes her notice you and what actually matters to this perfect girl?

Quote

Be open. Be courageous. Be authentic.

So this is what changed this perfect girls mind? Authenticity? I'm not saying those are bad things but is that really want women care about? I don't think so. 

My issue fundamentally is all you guys want to bury your heads in the sand and paint a rosey picture of human nature in face of all the facts. No, that isn't all there really is. 

Edited April 24, 2022 by bloomer

[Preety_India]

People who judge a lot cannot really be in relationships. 

If you want a gf, have an open mind. 

Also if a woman approached you, be ready to accept her. 

 

[bloomer]

@Preety_India

Just now, Preety_India said:

People who judge a lot cannot really be in relationships. 

Based on what? I see a lot of judgemental people in relationships lol. Most people are judgemental. 

Just now, Preety_India said:

If you want a gf, have an open mind. 

Oh it's that easy? Just have an open mind? 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, bloomer said:

Based on what? I see a lot of judgemental people in relationships lol. Most people are judgemental. 

Like for example, people who overthink. They don't allow themselves an opportunity to be with someone. They take it too far and perceive everyone negatively and nitpick any opportunity they get. As a result they simply close off (wall off) themselves to any new experience/opportunities. Relationships are a risk taking endeavor. A certain amount of risk is inherently invested in it. This also applies to travel. If you constantly worry about a plane crash, then you will never travel anywhere. This answers your second question about the open mind. A relationship would need the person to have an open mind. Just like people who have an open mind while traveling. If you thought that every relationship is going to be a bad one, you'll just not be ready to have one. Because you don't wanna test it. You don't want to test your own limits. That's why I said that having an open mind helps. 

 

 

[Someone here]

2 hours ago, bloomer said:

@Someone here

You say you changed and now it's easy for you to get laid and you're a super cool chad. Great.

So what do you offer the perfect girl tomorrow that you didn't before? What makes her notice you and what actually matters to this perfect girl?

So this is what changed this perfect girls mind? Authenticity? I'm not saying those are bad things but is that really want women care about? I don't think so. 

My issue fundamentally is all you guys want to bury your heads in the sand and paint a rosey picture of human nature in face of all the facts. No, that isn't all there really is. 

So do you think that looks or money are all that matters to women ?  Yeah sure that plays a role.  But it's not the be all end all.

Women care more about your personality than your looks .

You have to humorous. Confident. Authentic. And all other good masculine traits that a man can have. 

[Someone here]

@Knowledge Hoarder why ?

[somegirl]

@Someone here You wrote this perfectly, I don't know what others are talking about.

The key here is changing yourself. It all starts there. You obviously changed the way you see things, and therefore your reality changed.

[Someone here]

15 hours ago, somegirl said:

@Someone here You wrote this perfectly, I don't know what others are talking about.

The key here is changing yourself. It all starts there. You obviously changed the way you see things, and therefore your reality changed.

Thanks.

15 hours ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

You can't really "provide" confidence or humor - it's something you already have, you're just blocking yourself from expressing it. "Why would she want you?" is one of the ways you're blocking the confidence. Her wanting you should be your automatic assumption, no matter the outcome. Same with "what do you offer?"

Also, there's no such thing as perfect girlfriend, or perfect someone. Just pick someone whose problems you're willing to tolerate.

I agree with you. You can't fake it until you make it ". That's why I said authenticity is key .you have to be authenticly confident and humorous and not just acting out a script. 

[Sine]

Good job, here are some book recommendations if you want to explore this subject deeper

https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Challenges-Anniversary/dp/1622038320

 https://www.amazon.com/Understand-Women-Better-Lorin-Krenn-ebook/dp/B08PV9BYMW